I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Covid testing in the rear."
The girl leans over the counter and says.."Burrrrrgerrrrrr, Kiiiiing".
Q: What starts with an E and ends with an E, but has only one letter in it?
A: An envelope. Groan!
However this morning found a great ‘Aussie Bloke’ postcard message for our local wine district:
‘Having a wonderful wine, wish you were beer’
By the time grandchildren get to that age murder hornets will be extinct and there will be execution wasps. They'll have little guillotine stingers. Oh the joy!😰
'My Dear Hubby told me he always thought it stood for D*#k Head 😜. He asked to be represented instead as HOM (hot older male). I suggested HOG (hot older gentleman) but in my head was Hairy Old Guy. '
Not my own DH - he's bald!
We had to wipe our butts on the lawn.
In the snow.
Uphill.
Both ways.
While fighting off murder hornets.
How do you help a person who uses a scooter for mobility celebrate Independence Day?
You place bubble wrap under the scooter wheels and he drives back and forth.
(Spouse enjoyed this.)
A Somerset man and his wife visiting Canterbury Cathedral were approached by an American tourist who asked “Say, is this place open on Sundays?”
If you find that strange, I actually heard a similarly sophisticated guy ask his personal guide (loudly) in Greece: “Hercules, was he before or after Christ?”
I think guys like that have gone the way of their enormous suggestive telephoto lenses.
Get it? No punchline. You just have to get the joke.
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweller said. The lady's
eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
"By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon." On Monday morning, the jeweller angrily phoned the old man and said, "Sir...There's no money in that account." "I know," said the man..."But let me tell you about my weekend."
Q: What's huge, grey and groans? A: A bad elephant joke.
“LOL, 97 y.o. Mom”
Then I got to thinking about how much wine that would be. About 900 bottles!
Jesus didn’t mess around.
Here is another wine JOKE
The wife sitting next to her husband on the sofa says “I love you”
The husband says “ Is that you talking OR the wine?”
The wife says, “It’s me.....
talking to the wine.”
Day 45 of quarantine: Due to personal reasons, I am eating a lasagna in my shower
Q: How do you fit an elephant into a matchbox?
A: First you take out all the matches.
Q: What footwear makes you fall over?
A: Slippers.
Q: What part of the railway line never wakes up?
A: The sleepers.
Enough already! Church Chuckles are better!