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Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks.  The other half will come out with a drinking problem
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Oh Kay! Funny face mask tutorial.
https://www.countryliving.com/life/a32196101/funny-face-mask-tutorial/
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Science Tip
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether it sees you later, or in awhile.
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Earlybird, please keep us updated. You can’t just leave us hanging!
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Earlybird,

Hahaha 😂 Funny!
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My niece and I decided to play a joke on our neighbor today. She is quite the nosey neighbor. We told her we were moving to Florida on Friday in a condo on the ocean. She was wondering what we were doing in the garage with the crew. She started to cry, my parents lived on our street for over 70 years. We continued to fib, it was quite funny. We still have not told her. She took a walk around the neighborhood and niece noticed she was talking to our backyard neighbor and also another neighbor. We will see how many neighbors bid us goodbye. I told here we sold the house privately, and a family of 10 moving in soon, plus possibly the grandmother. She asked how old were the kids. I told her 2, 4, 6, 8 and up. I told her I am glad they will not be my neighbors because the kids are quite loud and rambunctious. We shall see if we get a going away gift from any of our neighbors. Hope we get some sweets, I will pay for them once the joke is over, and probably do a gift basket for being a good sport. I guess we need a little fun and some laughter these days.
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The world is coming to an end!
Repent and return those library books!
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A funny story from the wonderful Jack Van Impe; Many years ago,an elderly Amish farmer and his son rather daringly made the decision to ride their horses to visit a huge hotel in a medium sized city.They entered the lobby and saw an elevatordoor open. A very stooped, frail, gray haired lady entered and the door closed.They stared for a momemt fascinated. Then, the door opened again and out stepped a lovely, slim, erect woman.Quick, son, said the Amish man, let's go home and get Mama.
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Even though I am an excellent cook and love making healthy home made goodies, I loved the " little Debbie" comment So cute and witty. I just keep on chuckling.
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A sweet quote from readers Digest,"The past is gone and the future is out of sight.Today is a gift and so we call it "the present".O, what a super beautiful day it ishere in San Antonio, Tx.Everything is lush and verdant. It is so cool and so sunny; so tranquil and quiet.; clean air to breathe an d loveliness all around me at the high end of a long shallow canyon filled with live oaks and junipers.Thanks be to a gracious and merciful God.O, how grateful we all should be if we can walk pain free, talk coherently,smell, taste, and enjoy good things, amost precious of all have the freedom to choose what we want. Love to all!
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O, how i loved all the jokes! i especially enjoyed the one about management in the baloon! Hope you all like mine. What fun! !
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Thanks1 Humor is healing, and i love jokes.A pilot was flying a boy scout. a preacher, and a famous scientist to a camp site gathering.A sudden malfunction of the plane made a crash likely.The pilot had on a parachute. He exclaimed that he had only2 other parachutes. The scientist said that he was possibly the smartest person in the world and should therefore take one of the available chutes. The preacher said to the boy scout,"you must take the other chute because you a fine young man." The boy scout said," do not worry Pastor. You and I each can have a chute. The smartest man in the world just strapped on my backpack and jumped out."
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Haven’t posted in awhile but had to share this....

I was having a window visit with my dad at his nursing home yesterday. His aide sets him up with a phone. Dad is 90 with moderate dementia. I’m trying to make conversation, the weather, filling your bird feeders etc. I asked dad what was going on in there. He said “Oh not much. But there’s some guy just outside the window. Don’t know who in the hell he is”.
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Grandma,
Sorry, on the Amazon website, I forgot to click "Send", Lol.

We did go to pick up a grocery 'pantry pack' that had both chicken and eggs in the pre-selected bags. I am finding this the most reasonable way to shop safely, as you pre-order and pre-pay online, then the restaurant puts it in your trunk. $40-
This restaurant was called Lazy Dog, but there are many other restaurants doing the same, and getting creative! A pizza nite, a backyard barbeque pack, you cook it yourself.
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@ Sendhelp....
What came first the Chicken or the egg?
(this is for your post on April 21)
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Thinking I need to run out and buy some new jewelry.🚽
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Not so funny, but odd...
We have been buying our own grocery bags and bringing them into stores for a long time now. Actually have quite a collection.

The new requirement is that we cannot bring in our own bags anymore!
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To protect criminals from COVID 19, politicians release them from jails, at the same time, they require law-biding citizens to put themselves in solitary confinement.
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Metoo111, shouldn't that say "government" employee?🤣

That was funny even though.
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A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.

She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am".

The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude".

"You must be a technician." said the balloonist.

"I am" replied the man "how did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk."

The man below responded, "You must be in management".

"I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!!!
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I'm in trouble if it comes to having to hunt for our food. I don't even know where Little Debbie lives.
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Eating carrots helps your eyes.
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The quarantine demonstrates there are two types of people
1 I'm using my time at home to deep clean, bond with my family, and take some online classes
2 I just at a whole carrot cake with my fingers...
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Another thing that zombie movies got wrong: they didn't include any scenes of people on the street demanding their right to be eaten by zombies.
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How long is this social distancing supposed to last? My husband keeps trying to get back in the house.
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There's a picture online of an Inn's sign saying "Free Rooms.  Toilet Paper $99."

*If that's on here already, don't throw a rock at me.   :)  lil
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On average a Panda feeds for approximately 12 hours a day. This is the same as an adult at home under quarantine, which is why we call it a "Pandemic".
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"I had a coworker whose morning routine involved taking her daily pill at the same time she gave her cat a treat. One morning, she absentmindedly popped the cat treat in her mouth and swallowed it, instead of the pill. She said the poor cat was sitting there with his mouth open for his treat and the most confused look she’d ever seen on his face while she realized what she’d just done."
- Reddit
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Just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
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Margaret,the joke about a house being TP'd was a close version of a repeat.
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