I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
sometimes he'd try a bite of something not to his liking and expressing all the indignation he could muster , he would inform us that " this crap's SKUS - TED . ( disgusting ) .
board games often devolve into bored games .
i thought myself a loser for decades because i sucked so bad at monopoly . now i realize my sister was robbing the bank every time i looked away . btch scarred me for life .
Ok, now I'm going to be one of THOSE grandparents. Please indulge me, and I promise to do the same for you. I spent Thanksgiving with my son and his family. My daughter-in-law suggested we play a new game my 6-year-old granddaughter had. My granddaughter got the game and began reading aloud from the front of the box. She was confused when she got to the term "board game" and said, "It's not a board game." My daughter-in-law said, "Yes it is. The fold-out cardboard you play on is called a board, and games that use those are called board games." My granddaughter said, "But I thought board was when you did this." She then put her chin in her hand, sighed, and stared blankly ahead in a perfect pantomime of boredom.
i used to park him on my left arm and slowly and deliberately pet him the wrong way . he thought he must be pretty special cause none of the other cats got petted backwards .
one day he tried to hop from a rolling desk chair onto the computer desk where he couldnt possibly be ignored . with his front feet on the desk the chair started rolling backwards . the look on his face was hilarious . half embarrassment , the other half ; " i really dont know how to make this end in a dignified way " .
i ' saved ' him with a big hand under his belly and its been our secret until today .
Stay at home and save 100%
" oh my " said the priest . how long has it been since youve been to confession ?
ive actually never been and im not really of the catholic belief , said the old guy .
the priest asked " why then are you in here telling me this now ?
im just telling EVERYBODY said the old man .
So sorry about your mother. My mother took it, too, and had at least 6 to 8 teeth extracted. My mom took the medicine because the doctor was gave her the rx socialized with her! As long as the person socialized with her, she may have taken ANYTHING!😐
The nurse: Oh, really? I didn't know that.
Me: (under my breath) perhaps you should seek employment in another field of work.
Husband: Hmm... Don't you already have enough rolls (on you)?
Wife: ( to husband after making a good meal for him): You are well taken care of.
Husband: Well.. I'm not sure about that.. (sad tone), but I know I'm taken.
the ones ive had frequent contact with will probably ( avidly ) aspire to the hobby of home beer brewing .
still probably better than a smash and grab at the corner beer store .
‘In days of old when knights were bold and ladies weren’t invented,
Men used holes in telegraph poles and went away contented’.
I was very young at the time, and didn’t understand it at all (true). Now I know more history, I wonder about how ladies were invented after the telegraph system. Still, most of my primary school mates didn’t have a clue either!
the next commenter asked " so , exactly where is this fence ? " .
i was reading a clickbait story on the ' daily fail ' a while back about a gal who had a written list of do's and dont's for her fiance .
one commenter wryly stated that " she'd better be dirtier than a coal shovel " to get by with that ..
Two yobs are walking across Trafalgar Square, amid whirling pigeons (as in Mary Poppins ‘feed the birds’). One says ‘What would you do if a bird shat on your head?’. The other thinks for a moment and then replies ‘I don’t think I’d want to see her again’.
LOL
"When I told my parents that my husband has the flu, my dad said, 'Have you tried euthanasia?' and in the background my mom yelled, 'For the last time, it's echinachea!'"
The blonde flips her hair and says, "I am blonde, I am beautiful and I am going to Chicago!"
The flight attendant says, "That's fine, however, you are in the wrong seat, you don't have a 1st class ticket. You must move to the back of the plane. "
Again the blonde flips her hair and says "I am blonde, I am beautiful and I am going to Chicago."
This happens 3 more times, at which point the flight attendant doesn't have time to deal with this. She goes up and informs the captain of the situation and asks if he will please intervene.
So the captain goes out and tells the blonde that she needs to move to the back of the plane as her ticket is not for 1st class. The blonde flips her hair and repeats, "I am blonde, I am beautiful and I am going to Chicago. "
The captain bends over and whispers in her ear, at which point the blonde screeches, jumps up and runs to the back of the plane.
The flight attendant is amazed that he was able to get her to move so quickly and asks, "How did you do that so easily, what did you whisper to her?"
He responds, "It was simple, I told her that 1st class wasn't going to Chicago. "
You might get kilt
from nowhere the guy exclaims " i really love you " .
is that the beer talking ? his wife asked . im TALKING to the beer , said the husband .
The doctor poked his light scope in the old man’s ear and said, “Hey, you have a suppository in your ear!”
“Rats,” said the old man. “Now I know where my hearing aid went.”