I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
He replied that he was working on, "Aquathermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed until, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.
You're old enough to know your way around,
you're not going anywhere.
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:
'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.'
'How much do you charge?'
'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
'I'll sleep on it,' I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'
'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!'
Credit to Bookluvr 2016
"Yeah?" says Mac. "What was the name of it?"
Fred thinks for a moment, then says, "What's the name of that flower you give someone you love?"
"You mean a rose?" asks Mack.
"That's the one," replies Fred. Turning toward the kitchen he yells, "Rose! What's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
all 7 of them. They prefer the term "little people".
You will never find a horse losing money bettin' on people.
I might be naughty and start a small fight with my sig other when he has the hiccups.
Frazzled & dogperson that's funny!
Them: "Hello?"
Me: "Yes, I'm calling about the Durango for sale?"
Them:"Yes, it's still for sale."
Me: "Does it run?"
Them: "Yes, it does."
Me: "Well then, can you either step on the gas, or get the heck out of my way?"
Bill replies: “Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”
On a mountain trip a man falls down into a crack. His wife calls after him, “Are you OK?”
“Yeah!”
“Are you hurt?”
“No!”
“Not a scratch? How come?!“
“I’m not done falling yet-et-et-et-et!”
Need cheering up? Start a fight with somebody when they have the hiccups!
I'm in the mood for love,
Simply because you're near me.
Funny, but...
Say, you DO have a funny butt!
So, did you know that there are two kinds of people in the world? Those
who think that there are two kinds of people in the world and those who
don't.
Oh, I'm sorry, you thought I was gonna make a pun, now, didn't you?
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish?
I said no to alcohol, but it didn't listen.
It's not good to steal. The government hates competition.
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society..." - Mark Twain
Sent a message 8 hours ago
Dear ‘Send help’, you may be a mate of ‘mikim’ alias ‘salutem’, or you may be a real different person who happens to like a diet of dirty jokes. Most of us are of an age where we are broad minded, know very well about all the body pieces below the belt, but don’t find it funny to have our noses rubbed in smut. Some, like me, have tried to explain, and have been told repeatedly in messages and posts on line to ‘clutch the pearls’. I’m sending you the Message I sent to him yesterday. Please don’t encourage him (that’s if you aren’t him anyway).
Reply:
I no longer own any pearls, after casting them all before swine.
What I find most annoying is that the moderators never, ever jump in until things spiral out of control, and then they go nuclear and erase everything. If they were more proactive it would never have come to that.
All you really need to do is read over a forum, see what it trends towards and you'll see what the norm is. On this thread it's not risque humor. That doesn't mean you can't start your own dirty jokes thread.
CWilly I like your jokes. I think you are funny! But hay that's just me.😁
AgingCare website could certainly use a feature like that in its forum. Maybe if many of us ask AC about it, they may consider it.
Until then, just ignore and skip over anything you don't want to read and/or report it if inappropriate.
Deep breath everyone. There are things and people that are not worth a nano second of your time.