I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Quote: "I was an hour late for my train today, but luckily when I reached the station, it was still there...
The people must have been wondering, "Where the heck is the driver?"
He said the one about the train was too simple.
A discussion ensued.
I said "I cannot believe we are having this discussion," as he starts taking apart the words, intellectualizing them.
He said "I don't think intelligent adults like my brother and I appreciate the simplicity of the joke, it is stupid".
"The simplicity is what makes it funny", I said.
True to his nature, dH wanted to correct the wording, saying: "My brother would not like the joke because he is an engineer, not a "driver".
"I deal with simplicity and stupid everyday and it makes me laugh", I said sarcastically.
He went on to discuss the joke some more....same joke.....he is still mulling it over.
GENTLEMAN: "Compliments? You look very nice today!”
Sorry a bit of a silly one today - not that my others are much better. lol
1 FOREST 1
Then He made the earth round...and laughed and laughed and laughed...."
A quote from Mae West: “Keep a diary and one day it’ll keep you”.
A quote from James Thurber, via a Tshirt : “A mother’s place is in the wrong”.
A quote from an American writer I’ve never heard of: “A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever”.
You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!!
One, BUT it takes 6 visits.
The people must have been wondering, "Where the heck is the driver?"
Don't judge women by kilos, and you won't be judged by centimeters.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
"Parkinson's" replied her friend, "I'd rather spill half a glass of wine than forget where I've put the bottle".
It doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off your legs at night.
"They're right behind you!"
Really? How interesting Please take a seat on the lounge
Sorry I can’t. I’m not allowed on the furniture
would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?
(If you can remember that far back. lol - my comment)
As they came off the line,
I would hold them up and say, "yeah, Deez-el fit her."
A quote from Ogden Nash, on seduction: “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
A quote from Groucho Marx: “Anyone who says he can see through women is missing something.”
If the joke about forgetfulness is offensive, then let's remove the joke about hard of hearing, and the joke about nuttella/pregnant, etc.
Where does it end? We will have nothing left to laugh about. Don't cave to that constipated individual.
BuzzyBee, please continue posting. I look forward to your daily jokes.
I have to laugh at all of our disadvantages or I would go quietly mad. I probably still am. But the only way I can overcome stuff is to laugh at it. It will still be staring me in the face but I will have taken off a little of its devistation.
Sorry to have offended. It was not meant.
I will not post for a while.
We could have sworn you said
the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
the Unicorns
thank you everyone!
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.