I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's
house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died
her grandmother replied "He had a heart attack while
we were making love on Sunday morning".
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people
nearly 100 years old having sex had surely been asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing
our advancing age, we figured out the best time to do it
was when the church bell started to ring. It was just the right rhythm,
nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous". She paused and wiped a tear.
"He'd still be alive if that ice cream truck hadn't come along".
Me - "It would be a good idea if you removed the toothpaste cap."
One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.”
The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two.
The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.”
“Are you sure?” asks the fairy.
“Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation.
Poof once more – and he’s 90.
Chihuahuas are amazing.
Despite the huge ears, bulging eyes and terrible breath, he’s very fond of her.
Is that you coffin over there?
(Coughin')
:)
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster!
and only a Stairway to Heaven
says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers
She told me that newspapers are old school.
She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad.
The fly didn’t stand a chance.
sorry about the last joke :(
365 condoms.
(I changed the 'F' word, change it back in your head ) :)
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
https://www.cnet.com/news/snl-saturday-night-live-parody-ad-amazon-echo-for-old-people-senior-citizens/
You have the best clean jokes, thank you for sharing !
Well if you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.
... because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors
He pastaway.