Does your Cat (or any pet) misbehave since caregiving your loved one?
Have you been required to take care of your loved one's pet after they have passed? Does your pet have cute antics that entertain your loved one?
And finally, has the cat or dog transferred their loyalty to your Mother?
I completely sympathize with the difficult situation you find yourself in re: the cat. I think I would be very concerned about keeping your husband (and yourself) healthy in light of having to constantly clean up cat waste around the house. That can't be a good thing.
I wish I could give a definitive answer, but only you can do that - if you have reached the point where it has to be your husband's care or the cat's, then you have to make a choice. It won't be easy, and I don't envy you having to do it - I would really struggle with it myself - but I think the health concern for yourself and your husband need to take top priority here. If you have to cover furniture with tarps to protect against the cat's bowel incontinence, it must be pretty bad.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
About 6 months ago we adopted a rescue cat who was 12 years old. After a few months we thought we would need to take her back to the SPCA as she just wasn't bonding with us. She pretty much kept to herself. Then just a few weeks ago she brighten up and she has a delightful funny personality. Oh my gosh, she has us laughing so much :)
Our old guy who is 18 years old has a crush on her, and it is so funny listening to him "call" her. He can form words, and he is trying so hard to say what sounds like "Rosie come here". Of course, at 3 in the morning we can do without that !! They will meet in the upstairs hallway and roam the house at night.
Rosie has really helped the 18 year old as last year he lost his litter mate and another older elder cat due various health related issues. She has extended his life as he was so very depressed.
I had to put blue sheets around the house, especially on the flooring. It made for much easier clean-up once I could see a pattern of where she was going. It was odd, she preferred the east side of the house. I even added more litter boxes for her but she couldn't always get to one in time :(
I can understand your situation trying to take care of two love ones which can be overwhelming. The cat does have a serious illness and you are doing the best you can. It is always so hard to know when to say "good-bye". What a tough decision.
Cats can also sense when its owner is ill, and they can stress about that which can also have an effect on their own well being.
I was both a "forum virgin" and a "communicator-with-other-caregivers virgin" until I wrote my post. I am dumbfounded by the kindness and warmth of your responses. It was worth the box of tissues! Thank you! Your understanding means the world to me.
Putting the cat to sleep will not really make your job of careing for hubby any easier so I would suggest getting more help careing for hubby so you are not so stressed. It has already been a long road for you and there is no predicting how long the rest of your journey will be. Do what feels right for you. No guilt involved. When the time has to come there will be not doubt in your mind what needs to be done. Many hugs.
You've been at this caregiving business a very long time at this point, you need support. I'm glad you've joined us here on AgingCare.
Put things that small of you close to where they are hiding and feeling safe then when they come our they will see you as security. Enjoy being a Mama.
And Ali,I'm SO happy for you getting two kitty cats to love on.They will bring you so much joy,I know.Besides the toys they have,I hope they have a scratchy scratch too.You can make them tunnels under tables covered with a sheet and they love houses made with boxes covered by a big towel and they love a pile of grass brought in from outside and they love to sit in the window sill and look out the screen and you'll probably find yourself singing to them,silly songs you just make up and you will talk to them and they will chew on your toes like Holiday end's did and mine do and I'm just SO happy for you!!!Have fun with your new babies~
Another good cat game is to put a fake toy mouse under the oven or the dishwasher.They like to bat it under there and then watch you get a stick and a flashlight to get it back out for them.
Mine follow me everywhere,wanting me to constantly entertain them.I need all the ideas for any other cat games and things to do with them that I can get.
My kitten will play with anything. My adult cat (neutered male) doesn't really play. It seems to be beneath his dignity. He will lie down in bed with me at night or naptime, as long as I don't try to cuddle him too much. Oh, well....
And this morning game. I am still in bed with my kindle and you all. Ming races through the house then races back into the bedroom, flying leap onto the bed, over the top of me, races off the other side, all while doing this little growl like noise, a few times. She once landed on me leaping onto the bed. I wasn't as flat as she thought I would be. Took the air out of me. She hasn't landed on me since. Must have surprised her too. 😈
It's really sweet of your husband to care about her so much too.
I will warn you though,Chloe may put on weight easily now.Mine are all fat now,with kitten heads and cat bodies.
All the other cats during my life time never put on any extra weight. I don't know if it is more so depending on what breed of cat, or not. The cat that did gain a lot of weight was a short hair tordi. She would only eat dry food, wouldn't touch wet food or people food.
I saw my trainer's cat today for first time. This thing is MASSIVE. It is so round and plump and I asked about the weight because... the cat looks morbidly obese, if adorable. Trainer said something about surgery and after that the cat gained weight. Hm. Maybe I'll ask about cat again if it's there on Friday when I go for workout. I've never known a cat that was so fat, but wasn't due to over feeding rich foods.
Moving on to my new-to-me old fella, Divo. He's quite skinny. I've been feeling along his sides as I pet him. He's thin, but not emaciated or anything like that. He does eat but doesn't seem to eat as much as the other one. I had a clear understanding with myself that in order for me to take in an 18 yo cat, I would have to be ready to draw the line if heath issues started to occur that would be too expensive. It's not a hard and fast rule, just an idea that I made clear with myself before I took them in. It's far too early to get worried about anything, but... I wonder if I should have Divo's teeth looked at...? He is quite old and he won't eat any hard food, only soft, and so I'm wondering if his teeth are ok. But what if they AREN'T ok? What am I prepared to do then, if I get that news? So maybe I'll just not worry about anything at all right now and wait a month or two and see if he puts on some weight with me. Former owner admits the cats were neglected due to having small kids to look after plus other pets in the household.
I like the idea of home made toilet paper tube toys for kitties. This seems easy enough. D & D mostly ignore the toys I bought them, but they were only few dollars.
I bought them an upgraded litter box, one where they have to climb on top to get into it. I hope this works to keep them from spreading litter far and wide like they have been. The water fountain is nice. It wasn't expensive and I know cats prefer running water. I've yet to see either of them actually drink from it but the volume of urine in the box tells me they are utilizing it.
Divo is skinny and I try to give him his food but Delilah eats it. I put Delilah in the crate for a bit so Divo can eat uninterrupted but he wanders away from the food bowl after a few bites. Ok... so he just doesn't have much of an appetite. As long as he seems healthy, and he does, I'm not going to worry about it. Divo needs steps in between jumping up on things like window sills and the bed. Delilah can do it w/o step in between but Divo can't. So... now there are strategically placed things around windows and the bed do Divo can explore whatever, whenever. High-fiving myself for being an awesome cat accommodator.
The grooming gloves work well enough. Cats don't seem to particularly care for them, though. But when I give them a rub down with the gloves, it comes away with lots of hairs.
I think it's been a very successful week one!