Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My younger sibling retired to become my parent's primary caregiver (for which he's being paid by the state so they can live in their home). He did it to keep them from being placed in nursing home-both are considered skilled nursing. I do wonder if he knew back then ofn what he's experiencing now, would he make the same decision. He's a much better person than I could ever be. I could care maybe one but not both.
Learn all about the 5 year lookback. I had no idea about this when my father started to hand out cash. I had years of sleepless nights worrying he would run out of funds. Going back to the places he gave money away to was not an option.
"You'll have to put up with your psycho siblings if you do this and if you don't you can avoid them forever, which would be a wonderful thing. As would traveling, alone time and enjoying the years you have left instead of being abused, taken for granted and losing your own health and sanity."
So many great replies...Mine? Place a parent in a facility asap. It should never become a job taking care of a parent. Visit them- be a daughter or son and leave the rest to the facility. When you have a parent that was a nasty, entitled, self absorbed mother or father especially- dump them asap. They don't deserve your time. Live your best life. They had theirs. Don't make their life become yours.
I didn't know, like many people don't know, is that Medicaid can help finance short-term in-home care. In some states, Medicaid pays for long-term care too. I wish I had known that. People should contact their state's Medicaid agency about eligibility. It can vary from one state to the next. Here is a resource: https://www.statedataresourcecenter.com/
Set boundaries: take their money, credit cards and car. Don’t look back and don’t let them bully you. Keeping them safe starts with taking those things away that predators want: access to their money.
Absolutely, keep in mind its tough, but patience is much needed, yet my patience went out the door. The repeating over/ over almost to the point you start to think its done on purpose as a punishment. It takes a very special person to tolerate and maintain control of your mental status. Get time away must be initiated
Don't do more for a person than they deserve from you. That's what I'd do differently and it would have resulted in me not becoming my mother's caregiver.
People can live for years or decades after they become unable to care for themselves. Family members will not feel any obligation to help once you step up.
Dear tiredmouse, you wrote below me. you said "look for the angels--there will be a few (just a few)". please send them to me, i need them. mailing address: bundle of joy, c/o in-need-of-angels, zip code (please-hurry-thanks-a-bunch).
Be prepared that everyone--medical professionals, professional caregivers, family, friends, and (ugh) your loved one's neighbors--will have different opinions about your loved one's medical care and where they should live.
Also, too often (way more often than you would have guessed), the healthcare system will fail your loved one for various reasons. It's up to you to do research, trust your gut, and gain the confidence to question and even challenge nurses, doctors, aides, assisting living administrative staff, etc., when appropriate. It is sometimes scary and sometimes people will not be kind to you. That being said, look for the angels--there will be a few (just a few), and they'll be your lifelines.
Never move your aged parent into your home. I did and it’s something that I will regret forever. And also another thing I know for sure is never ask for help from siblings because you won’t get it.
I wish I had never let my elderly parents move 900 miles to be closer to me. So glad I got them out of my house after 4 months (although the subsequent 12 years of thankless responsibility for helping them "age in place" in their home a mile from mine were a nightmare).
'You're going to find out who your siblings really are' and the signs have usually always been there - kind of like rust - you know it's there, but it always goes a lot deeper than you think
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
He's a much better person than I could ever be. I could care maybe one but not both.
- Advise options.
- Leave silence & time for decision making.
- Let consequences happen.
Repeat as required.
That's what I'd do differently and it would have resulted in me not becoming my mother's caregiver.
Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?
Also move to that other country in your twenties and don’t stay because you ‘should’ !
Also, too often (way more often than you would have guessed), the healthcare system will fail your loved one for various reasons. It's up to you to do research, trust your gut, and gain the confidence to question and even challenge nurses, doctors, aides, assisting living administrative staff, etc., when appropriate. It is sometimes scary and sometimes people will not be kind to you. That being said, look for the angels--there will be a few (just a few), and they'll be your lifelines.
Have boundaries of steel.
Repeat after me: Have boundaries of steel.
(by the way, whatever age you are, you’re young).
you’re only young once. protect it. be kind to your elderly LOs, but be kind to yourself by living your best youth.