I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
My mom was diagnosed at least 5 years ago. It was in writing. Alzheimer's. She is Stage 6 now. It is not I who am in denial. I educated myself and still educate on this disease. I didn't stuff my head in the ground and pretend things were not happening. I left everything I loved... came here to help my parent's who were my first love. Doesn't matter if she does not act like the mom I once knew. I know what's going on as I educated myself. That does not mean I am going to stuff her away somewhere...
Thank you for your insight, it seems like you've just stepped out of denial yourself and realize what's going on.
Be blessed on your journey.
My parents [in their 90's] have the same view. My Mom can't understand why I have a career, and my Dad doesn't understand why I hate to shop because all women love shopping.... NOT.
I'm too tired to do all the stuff I need to do!
That is all. :-)
Second whine.... seeing that thread pop up You know, the one that say's lots of caregivers die before the person they are caring for?.... my tummy is not feeling this day, at all.
Sooo....I've had to cancel the rental I had already paid for, which was incredibly cheap at $470 a week (cheaper than a hotel, and it was a whole house!), and start looking for something else that is: a) at least somewhat handicap accessible, with no stairs or steps and a shower instead of a tub; b) allows dogs and c) has wifi so I can work at night (the only way I can afford to pay for the trips we're taking this summer, since they all come out of my pocket - Mom's income doesn't allow for any extras). I think I finally found one, which is even nicer than the previous rental...but it's also nearly twice the price, at $850 a week. (sigh) Waiting to hear back from the owners to make sure we can get it reserved.
I picture myself curled up in a ball, sobbing, once she's gone. Sadly, I suspect that image is all too close to the truth. Our relationships with our parents are complicated things - sometimes more than we'd like to admit.
Oh my...she's flushing the toilet repeatedly in the bathroom....I better go see what the heck that's about.....
I do the same exact thing, listening all night long to be sure she is breathing...and at times you can't hear her and then she will take a deep breath and back to normal...and like you said, a deep sigh of relief and all is well ....early in the am, before it gets daylight, it seems I always wake up and I will check on her...she is always looking quite comfortable, breathing normally and soundly sleeping....I go back to bed for another hour or so and you can hear the sound of turtle doves, sometimes a whipporwil.....spelling???.....and it is the most peaceful and glorious feeling.
I can't tell you how many times I have come out and found the house so absolutely silent and still that I was certain she was gone - passed in her sleep. In fear, I would call to her, and after 3 or 4 times - by which time I was in an all-out panic - she would suddenly jerk awake and answer me. Not sure what frightened me more - the silence or the awakening!
How I wish my parents would move from their single family house into a retirement community where they can have a large condo and enjoy everything the place has to offer. Plus they would have more freedom instead of trying to rely on me. My Dad liked the brochure but said maybe in a couple of years they will move.... HELLO... you are 92 and 96.... [sigh]
Can't help thinking that way.. At 92 it's inevitable...
So we have our nightly routine. She sits in her chair like queen bee while I, the worker bee, buzz around getting ready for the night - shutting down the computer, locking the doors, shutting windows, putting cat away for the night, etc. I usually hand her the tv remote, get her water cup filled, etc - hoping to minimize any risk of fall during the night, since she only sleeps about an hour or two at a time and then is back up. I keep the tv remote with me during the day, because despite my best efforts to simplify the process, she inevitably screws up the tv and can't get it to turn on or change channels - easy to fix for me, but frustrating to her.
For the past week, I've been getting ready for some upcoming travel and also for some work to be done on the house - so I'm meeting myself coming and going, and my own memory is starting to show the strain. I forgot to give her the remote before I went to my room for the night and got into bed. Now, she knows I sit at my desk ALL DAY working, and that's where the remote is - always. If I forget to give it to her, all she has to do is get up, take 4 steps to my desk to get the remote and 4 steps back to her chair. What does she do last night, after I've gotten ready for bed, climbed in, breathed a sigh of relief that the day was finally over and started to relax in the only room in the house where I can be alone? "WHERE'S THE REMOTE???" "ARE YOU COMING BACK OUT HERE??" "I'M MISSING THE REMOTE!"
Someone needs to buy me a new bedroom door. I think I just about yanked mine off the hinges when I went back out to retrieve the precious remote that was sitting not 10 feet away from her and deliver it to her hands.