I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
CM I am right with you about the GPS. hubby at least has found a way to turn the woman off. I would rather use a map and write the route in big letters taped to the dashboard. he says he can't find his way anywhere without it these days. As far as back up cameras go no way nor how they are just confusing. One thing i do love though is a heated seat. my new car - thrify me brought a new car - probably the last car I will own and it did not have one. But guess what on a trip to the thrift store I found one you could plug in and that works just as well and only cost $5
CM, Oregon has an Aging Agency that does the very same thing. Come out to visit or call, tell you about all the "help" they have to offer, ask all their questions, check off their boxes and .... they seem to vanish. They called 2 weeks ago, said mom qualified for 6 hours of in home care a week. haven't heard a peep from them since. I'd love 6 hours a week. Heck, I will even pay for additional hours!! Anyway, it's lovely they offer so much help and support, it would be even lovelier if they actually followed through.
This house was built in the mid 60's. Apparently my ball of flies have awoken from their winter nap. I don't recall South Florida flies being as sneaky and aggressive as these flies. It has nothing to do with the cleanliness of your house, pets or whatever.... they are everywhere and in everyone's house. Fly swatter's are sold at every store, gas station or quicky stop!! LOL
Thank GOD for my GPS! LOL, I'd be a lost person without mine. It's so bad that when I go into the bigger cities, to the same place I've been many times, I don't remember how to get there without using it. Perhaps I rely on it a bit too much :)
Gonna be 97 here today... I don't think we'll be doing too many strenuous activities aside from floating in my blow up pool drinking my Mike's Hard Lemonade
Only draw back to my Jeep, my parents would expect me to run to the grocery store for them, in the middle of a blizzard, because I have four wheel drive.
Ref the sudden influx of flies, are you sure something hasn't crawled under the foundations and died? Did you get, like, zillions of them in a really short space of time? I don't want to go into details but if it was like that then there could be an ex-mouse (eek!) or similar R.I.P.ing in a quiet corner somewhere. Although all you would find now would be a bare skeleton. Let's not think about it too deeply.
And when you take the shopping back to their place, then Fido 'accidentally' sneaks into the house too and you get fired for selective incompetence. Result!
Do you like dogs, at all?
Took Mommie Dearest to the dentist, 4km away, last Thursday. Call from the NH this afternoon that she was complaining the relined dentures hurt. As there was little or no dental care in the UK long ago my mother went to hospital and had all her teeth yanked in her late 20s as they were rotten..
Dentist last week said relined but after 60 years of dentures her jaw bones had worn away and there was nothing much left to support dentures. I guess she wears those that hurt or a spare pair that flap.
Explained that to the woman who called from the NH and they will start mincing her food. I'm dreading my next visit as it will be all about we have to go somewhere else, there has to be someone to fix this. Yep, in a perfect world but we don't live in a perfect world sweetie pie, we do the best we can with what we have but that's never been good enough for Madam..
I'm considering talking to the social worker, Sharon,,let her deal with it and stay away. For the past few weeks my mother is obsessed with Sharon tells her there are 200 nursing homes in the previous small city she lived in and all are much better so she plans to go see them, choose, book a room and move. It doesn't work that way sunshine but she won't listen to me. I wonder when Sharon is going to take her to view and choose? lol
CM I love animals and have had rescues life long. Currently I have 4 cats, all from dubious backgrounds, the oldest 14+, along with a miniature pinscher x jack russell terrorist, inherited from my mother, and an old black lab girl who came from rescue last year. I support and sometimes drive transport for local rescues and when my renos are done I may adopt another old one (old myself I don't want to leave anyone behind)..
CM my old lab girl, Ashy, is a prissy - hates getting wet or dirty. Gotta love her.
I'll have cheese with my whine for the day... my Mom likes the store brand of reduced fat 2% milk shredded cheese... well, the store changed the colors on the bag and now my Mom thinks I bought the wrong cheese, even though it is identical inside to what she had been using.... she says it taste funny... Mom, it's the same cheese... she shakes her head *no*.... then I compared word for word the old bag with the new bag, same thing.... she still wasn't convinced.
I know elders have problems with change, but for crying out loud, we are talking cheese !!!
Mom is just not doing very well. Her memory is getting worse and worse. Today, she was talking about the cat we've had for 10 months, and asked me, "How did we come to have the cat, again?" 2 hours later, she commented on how nice of a cat he was, given that he was a stray when we got him, and how nicely he'd plumped up, because he was so skinny when we got him. For the first 24 hours after we got home, she was talking about the trip and how much she enjoyed it. Today, not a word about the trip at all, which is unlike her - when she is excited or happy about something, she'll bring it up for days on end. So the memory issues are definitely coming and going, but they're becoming more prevalent now.
The potty accidents are getting worse, too - her back hurts, so she doesn't want to move from a comfortable position once she finds one, and waits too long to go. Then, she struggles to stand up, because her back hurts, and the strain of standing causes her bladder to let go. Washed sheets twice yesterday, once today because of this.
She's extremely unsteady on her feet and leans on everything to get from point A to point B - like from her chair to her bed and her bed to the bathroom. At this point, a fall in the near future is almost inevitable - I'm trying very hard to prevent it, but it's almost a given that it's going to happen at some point, and I don't think it's going to be long. Very, very worried about the 2nd vacation trip later this year - it's a longer drive than the last one, and the vacation rental I found is somewhat handicap accessible, but I'm concerned about the distance from the bedroom to the bathroom - unless she wakes me up or I stay up all night to help her to the bathroom, there's a fall risk right there. She doesn't do very well with a walker, but I'm going to look at getting one anyway, one of the wheeled ones with a seat...something...anything to keep her somewhat mobile.
These episodes are increasing in frequency and it's really worrying....she doesn't want to go into a NH and I don't want her to, until it becomes absolutely necessary...and we can't afford home care or a health aide either. Struggling with this one a bit.
My mums stroller arrived last week we havnt gone out yet but its got wheels and a seat so fingers crossed!
Susan i know its hard and a worry but i have after a stroke from worrying about her learnt to just do as much as we can with them now as the end is in sight i think Jessiebelle or someone said to me here once months ago when i was in a bad way with worry that to enjoy your time something is going to happen a fall or worse its going to happen so we cant avoid it but worrying is not going to help you just try like i had to for my own mental health to do what you can and if she falls she falls you cant be on safety alert all the time it will drive you crazy and make you ill. I know how you are feeling mum is getting worse too and its the scariest thing to watch she walks so slow its frightening. I am just waiting for the day when she will no longer walk and that will be the beginning of the end BUT im prepared i do my best and somewhere in there is my mum and she knows i love her and ive tried to do my best. I speak with my bro every night and we are prepared for the worst my other siblings are not and its them i feel sorry for because their denial is going to ruin thier time with her.
I dont want mum in a NH none of us do but look its going to happen at some stage and it will be when youve no other choice and her care is just too much for you.
Go on that trip she may be fine with the stroller if she falls she falls we cannot live like this worrying too much prepare for things to happen and just enjoy every last minute.
Mum is impossible right now but her memory for things is fine i can imagine how scary it is when she dosnt remember half an hour ago. Mum just talks about the past ALOT? shes very quiet lately but not depressed just in her world but i know shes worried about something so hopefully the doc will help on Friday? Mum was never one to talk about her feelings shes a tough nut to crack and puts up a defence which is more worrying as she suffers in silence.
This is hard and i just wish mum was at peace i hope to God i never see this get much worse but i need to wake up a bit it is going to get worse and i just need to be prepared and do what i can.
Hugs as i know how youre feeling its the scariest time of our lives but its life it happens to us all we will be alot stronger people after this thats for sure!
I cant wait to have a date itll be like a teenagers first kiss? or a fkin disaster?
Im going to spain to let my hair down i am going to dance with strangers and be romanced i hope! I am going to ask a man out if i have to yeh lifes too short! God help the first guy that looks my way! no i hate being single i need an escape from this life be so nice to have a man to date and swtich off from dementia although most men ive gone out with before had "issues". Yeh am taking no more crap from men you got issues then fck off lifes too short. Yes i love the freedom of being single but 5yrs is along time. If i dont get out there now and date im going to end up a mad cat lady!!
Then she says "oh I should die ". That's not the point. The point is that she makes me feel worse by never asking my siblings to help me out or give me a break!!!!!! She always says "well they work." And what do I do with her? Play?? I wish! I get so angry that we always have to be the ones
changing our lives for her and she never does anything to try and help herself and us....it's not fair and I really felt like hitching about it (can I say that?)
Get mom checked for a UTI. My mom has had a succession of the 7 or 8 in the past year. The first one showed as a back ache. I even took her to a massage therapist because I thought that would help. No massage in the world will cure a UTI! LOL!
I really don't know how sometimes that I will survive this. Living with her (for me) is pure hell. She just doesn't 'get it'. I am very weary of trying to deal with that fact. She is oblivious to everything.
Not only am I weary of the invasion---the absolute invasion of privacy. I have very few moments of peace. She invades when I sit down at the toilet, in the shower, at my computer, on my phone...And the interruptions are what she has just asked me a thousand times before.
Just this morning, she is 'slamming drawers' looking for new blood testing strips. She goes thru them like toilet paper too. I find them on the floor and outside everywhere. So I need to use the bathroom and she interrupts me to ask me where her testing strips were. Exasperated, I told her I would get her a new box when I was done. But I can still hear her rummaging for the new boxes---loudly. So I get up--unfinished---from what I am doing and get her the g*&%$#@*&&^$% strips and lay them on the counter next to her testing kit.
I now get ready to go for my walk and am out the door and on the road and I hear her call my name from inside the house. I keep walking not wanting to deal with her at the moment. I am in great need of some peace .
When I get back some 20 minutes later, she grabs my attention with, "I can't find my box of test strips. I'm thinking, Are - you - kidding - me!? I tell her (rigidly) that I put them on the counter right next to her testing kit (which has been moved so I know she found it). She gives me the angry look and starts looking all around for where she put them. Ten minutes later just as I steal a moment to sit, she says, "I can't find my test strips". Now I am friggn' annoyed. I tell her (with great emphasis)...."I PUT THEM ON THE COUNTER AND YOU PICKED THEM UP AND PUT THEM SOMEWHERE"!
So....My peaceful, meditative walk that earnestly ask for guidance, peace, patience, love and compassion has fallen into the toilet!
GOOD LUCK for tomorrow! Do nothing else 'til the surgery's over, just get yourself better.
Am so fed up with this more bloody furniture to clutter uip an already cluttered house its like a living h*ll.
I snapped at her and she got mad slamming doors again "whats it to you if i buy stuff?its none of your business".
Just cant cope with this everyday picking up clutter a mess everywhere then she has the "cheek" to abuse me and say i do nothing.
I think we all need to be assessed! I mean are we "mad" to be doing this? whats it all about and for what? Oh please god bring me the money to runaway from here asap. I dont think im going to make it out of this a normal person!