Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
I wouldnt blame them with all those drunken tourists! yes they have a ZERO tolerance in Spain and its going to happen everywhere soon these young people are getting out of hand with drugs and drinking the spanish had no choice but to nip it in the bud! Drink is so cheap there so it causes problems! But where im going is a city very far from any beach so there will be a more select older crowd or families its the coastal regions you have to avoid this time of year! I will find the nearest irish pub and be fine! I dont drink much am too old for hangovers now!!! just to see people and and eat in some great tapas is enough for me! ive travalled all over the world mostly on my own and you always meet some nice people im quite easy going and will talk to anyone so i hope i meet some fun people!!
(1)
Report

Ash, your mother said that to you? "Your sister is here to relax?" What is up with these folks?
(0)
Report

She wants to relax. Leave that housework for her so she can meditate while doing all the housework, dusting, laundry, it's such a Zen thing to do LOL.
(0)
Report

I should have done this on Monday but I've only just got round to it: my whine moment of that day was that the brother who missed mother's 90th birthday party last week called out of the blue to say he was an hour's drive away and "thinking of dropping in." Monday is my half-day, I had the car keys in my hand and one foot on the front door threshold. But what could I say? I hurtled to the shops and back and set about getting dinner for four.

Well, mother was pleased to see him; that's what matters. I wish I could have thought of a nice way to tell him not to hurry back again, though, all the same. "You mustn't feel you have to go out of your way…" perhaps?
(1)
Report

"thinking of dropping in" to his 90 yr.old mother's birthday. What a champ/chump. I feel sorry for the woman that is married to this piece of "man" if she is still alive.She better not count on him for anything.
(0)
Report

cm - that s disgusting.
(0)
Report

Well guys i always find that if i have the place looking like a pin she has to keep it that way as if i leave a mess she wont bother ive written some instructions for her IE keep place as you found it!! and go and hide in Mexico if anything happens to my cat! i reckon that should do it!! Youve no idea the evil grin that will be on my face when IM the one sunbathing while shes cleaning up after mum boy im going enjoy every minute of it! I hope when i return she will kiss my feet with appreciation for all the hard work mum is.
(2)
Report

Don't count on it. You will probably be hearing about how she would do things differently and better. And if anything happens to your cat her running to Mars wouldn't be far enough to ensure her safety. Should you maybe kennel you cat? I know I love my fur babies and I don't know what I would do if someone hurt them on purpose or by "accident". And why again are you the one taking care of mom instead of her? You shouldn't have to feel like a prisoner escaping prison just to take a vacation.
(0)
Report

No my sister is what you call a "career woman" has a cleaning lady and cant cook eats out most nights. She lives in Paris and works whereas im the bum stuck here doing nothing????? I just happened to be home when mum got ill? My sister would never claim to do better as she just wants to get back to her life as soon as she can then she can say ive done my bit then she will dissapear until xmas?
(0)
Report

Kazz, I hear ya. My sister lives only a 40 minute drive from me and mom, but you would think it's 400 miles. She visits once every 2 months for a few hours and thinks she's done her bit. It makes me sick!
(0)
Report

Well its only until i had a mild stroke that shes even bothered to come home much now but its not good enough she is single has plenty of money and originally was coming home every six weeks? that never happened? she has 10 weeks holiday a year and has already had 2hols this year BUT she will come here to relax?? Please!
(0)
Report

What do you think would happened if you sorta "forgot" to come home on time? Do you have the key to her Paris apt, maybe show up there for awhile because you though your sis and mom should spend more quality time together? Before possibly doing this , I would definitely put your cat in a kennel somewhere your sister doesn't know where it is.
(0)
Report

I would definitely kennel the cat. Anyone tried to hurt one of my fur kids and I'd make their worst nightmare seem like a happy place!
(2)
Report

Sorry Kaz Mum will probably be as good as gold while you are away and clean up after herself and tell sis what a lazy slob you are and she has to run around after you
(1)
Report

If you hear anything like that, take you cat and leave immediately telling mom you obviously don't need me.
(2)
Report

Well guess what? sis rang to say she is meeting friends in sat night and can my brother not stay? Told her the point of her coming home is to look after mum and make sure shes not on her own at night? told her to sort it with brother if he says no then she has to cancel her friends and stay here. Im shaking and i havnt even packed yet?
Selfish cow! its just not going in told her mum is getting worse that she fell out of bed she laughed??????????
God help me!
(2)
Report

I have no car so i cant put cat in kennel as its too far away and the last time i put him in one he was traumatised not surprising as it was not well run and i swore never again he wouldnt eat and his bed was wet when i went to pick him up? there are some very good ones but you have to travel. Im not worried too much because mum looks after him better she will see hes in and out fed as she knows how upset id be if anything happened to him. My sis will look after him when it suits her and her plans but ive written down instructions my brother sent her an email to look after the cat or else!!
Im ok not stressed just typical her she thinks coming home is to catch up with friends etc you know spend as little time with mum as she can. Im in holiday mode now and am excited just to get to the airport let alone a different country hey even the bus ride will be exciting and i hate buses just to be going away from this madness!
(1)
Report

Rant warning...... Mom has refused all offers of reading material, saying it doesn't hold her interest. Well, a month ago, she let slip that she's having vision problems. So we contacted the social worker at the NH and they got her an eye exam appt. I called her last night to remind her I'd meet her there - she's wigging out "so scared, so worried" - usual game. Then I tell her the doc is a close friend of ours, whom she's met and poof! Polly Perky. We're sitting in the doctor's exam room, the tech is doing the prelims and she's now quietly snuffling into her tissue because she's just so scared. I reassure her, telling her it just the same old exam that she's always had. The tech reassures her. The doc comes in, fusses over her, she repeats the scared and concerned speech. We go to transfer her to the chair, I caution her firmly but nicely NOT to release the lock on the knee of her brace and God help me, my filter is gone and don't I tell her "please get yourself positioned on the chair before you release because if you release and your legs fail, you're going down on your a**". My friend the doc just looks at me funny and I realize that my mom is now putting on an Academy Award performance with everyone. She's got them all thinking she's the perkiest, cutest little old lady, so sweet. BAM! Once they starting fawning over her, she went from eliciting sympathy to having them think she's the spunkiest, amusing little lady. He tells her she needs this simple procedure that might be able to be done today. So now we need to get lunch because the surgeon can see her at 1:30. I go to order sandwiches - "I don't eat much - they all look too big." A full grilled ham and cheese, chips and juice later.......we've just played the eating game. By the time the surgeon was there discussing that he was going to poke a hole in her eyeball with a laser, she's smiling and chatty. From crying over an exam to upbeat about a laser on her eyeball. And I'm sure my friend is wondering about me - after all, here's this dear little lady with one cloudy eye, the other is 20/200 and what kind of neglectful daughter am I that I had no clue she had these ongoing problems. I need donuts...
(1)
Report

Linda22 you wicked evil little-old-lady abuser you..!!!

I promise you, they've got her measure. I will put money on it that everyone there was role-playing! And, seriously, well done getting her there at all - hope the procedure does the trick.
(1)
Report

Me too - it will really help with the boredom if she can read again. I left there thinking "she did it to me again....I'm handling her like I know I need to and she turns it around so I look like Cruella de Ville!" Under the bus again.....got permanent tire tracks on my head. My son told me my "give a d**n" is broken. I told him I'm not seeing a repair in my future.....
(2)
Report

Linda mum has to have this lazer thingy done too ive noticed shes not reading her books anymore just the newspapers!
(0)
Report

I also never new the hidden Academy Award acting abilities my mother had until I had to start living with her full time. As a child I knew something was wrong with her, now I know she secretly ....was an actor.
(3)
Report

It's really pretty amazing - it took about 3 minutes. It should help considerably, especially after we get her a new pair of drugstore reading glasses. Hopefully she'll be interested in reading again. I was surprised though, to learn that quite a number of people with cataract implants develop this later. kazzaa, your holiday in Spain sounds wonderful - enjoy!
(0)
Report

tex, all I could think of when I realized what was happening is that scene in Sunset Boulevard where the leading lady comes down the stairs, saying something like " I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille."
(1)
Report

Good one Linda! mums just been on the phone to sis i was in the bath all i hear is laughing and joking??????? she was moaning and groaning before the phone rang? amazing isnt it? dr jekyell and mr hide!!
(1)
Report

Heck yeah! and she was crazy as h*ll but very graceful and personable even though she had just killed William holden who was floating in her pool.
(1)
Report

I put mom in a nursing home today. Her attitude was wonderful but I cried a bunch. Hospice is great. I feel relief then I'm in tears. I miss my parents so much. I'm soooo sad and yet I'm ready to live. Bitter sweet.
(5)
Report

ya do your best somedaysmile . most elders require round the clock healthcare when they decline to a certain point as determined by their pri care doc usually .
my apology for getting a little snippy on your thread the other day jeanette . i dont mind hearing about my percieved shortcomings but if i was a bit defensive its because my lifestyle isnt all that dysfunctional , just different than most and a bit on the frugal side .
for example , 15 years ago i looked kinda silly driving around in a 51 chevy work truck . now that construction has taken the worst beating of any sector of the economy and most contractors have wiped out and had their shiny trucks repo'd , the old 51 makes pretty good sense now ..
intimidating appearance ? tell that to the tons of kids who love and trust me from the moment we meet ..
still , i apologise . shouldnt be such a defensive jerk ..
(4)
Report

Somedaysmile....it will be ok sweetie. Hang in there. You are doing the right thing for both you and Mom.

One of my siblings asked me today if I will keep Mom at home until she passes away, or will she eventually go to an NH. (Kind of funny she asked, since we've been talking on here about the "line in the sand" lately in terms of when you decide to make the decision to place your loved one in a facility.) I told her what my determining point was - complete medical incapacity (like a stroke) or inability to walk at all, even with help. I discussed it (again) with Mom today, and we went over things again in that regard, and she agrees that I should not have to provide care for her if it is not reasonable for me to do so - in other words, she doesn't want me to have to get a Hoyer lift into the house to move her because of her size, if she can no longer move herself. (We discussed that pretty specifically, which is a good thing, because it's a distinct possibility.) That's the first time one of my siblings has asked that question - I guess I'm glad she did, because they need to know where we stand on that.

Somedaysmile - you'll be ok. But don't rush into anything. Take some time to "grow into" your home without Mom there, and slowly reclaim your life.
(3)
Report

My whine for today -- Mom is feeling better today. This is a good thing. The bad thing is that she started arguing with me again. It drives me crazy. I'll say something and she'll challenge it, then accuse me of arguing with her. That drives me crazy when she does that, since it cuts off any communication between us. Maybe it is why she does it, the contrary old woman!
(2)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter