I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Are there other activities that would get you both out and about and provide some mental stimulation. Hubby I think you said is still working and driving but the chief problem is muscle weakness. Would it be possible to reach out to some of his coworkers and invite them maybe for a casual meal or perhaps to go to a movie or concert whatever interests you all.
All we see is the good side of Michael J Fox and he looks fabulous when we see him in public. But I wonder what happens when he gets home and collapses for a couple of days.
Is there any reason hubby can't use a golf cart? if he did that i bet some of his friends would be quick to hitch a ride
She's diabetic, as well as suffering from vascular dementia. NOTHING you say to them sticks so you are constantly repeating--telling them over and over what they need to do. I am tired of hearing myself and having to say things. She is too because she makes a pissy, mad face at me every time I do. That wears on me too having to be the 'bad guy' all the time. To have to suffer the energy of her anger at me beats me up.
Her sugar issue is one example. I try vigorously to keep additional sugar from her diet. But she is a constant eater. She always has to have something in her mouth. So I keep healthy snacks around but she often bypasses them for the sugary crap. If she goes for a walk to our neighborhood clubhouse, she picks up the candy (not sugarless) and puts them in her pocket to snack on during the day. If I buy her low sugar ice cream, she sneaks it at least twice a day. If I buy her almond milk, she complains. Regular milk has milk sugar. If she goes to the clubhouse to get coffee, she puts sugarless packets in it and then goes to the freezer and puts ice cream (not sugarless) in her coffee too. And, of course, if I find out and tell her or take it from her, I get the attitude.
I'm very tired this morning. Sometimes I just want to say 'screw it' and just let her do what she wants. It's defeating and demoralizing.
When someone has diabetes and dementia, we end up in a position of letting them eat things they want or sitting there watching them all day. For me the only solution is to keep the really unhealthy things away and not worry when her blood sugar goes up due to snacking. She is 87. I worry more about the nighttime hypoglycemic episodes, which is why I don't want her taking an extra shot of Levemir.
In the past year I've been comfortable as long as the glucose stays around 100-250. And I no longer sweat the occasional spike, since I know it will soon come back down. At 87, her long-term problems from the spikes is not so much of a concern. I worry much more when she has low blood sugar, since it can be quickly lethal.
So I would say let up on your loved one she is going to do what she wants regardless of what she is told. I realize it is "bad" for her but at the end of life what is "good' for anyone. You are doing your best and she is still relatively independent so continue to monitor her diabetes and adjust her insulin as necessary. Continue to make healthy meal choices but beyond that your job is done. Don't make your life and her miserable by trying to make her do what is healthy for her. ask yourself what bad habits do you have yourself? Yes say screw it and let her make her own decisions while she can and save your sanity and her happiness. The more you pull in one direction the more she will pull in the other.
This week, the one thing I let slide was when I discovered that my mother might very well try to attend a hearing at the DMV to get her license back. I found out about this several weeks ago, and frantically dropped everything else I was doing to try to cancel the appointment (explained who I was, faxed them the 25 page POA document). I never got confirmation one way or the other, and couldn't devote more time to this, so I just hoped for the best. I was mainly worried about her being embarassed--trying to make a case for herself, when she's 100% unable to. It's scheduled for tomorrow, and I lost a lot of sleep thinking about how to deal with this. My solution: back off. She'll have to suffer the consequences of whatever happens. I can't keep juggling every one ball up in the air all the time. I don't think there's any chance that she'll actually get her driving privileges back, but even if that were to occur, I get her mail, and wouldn't let her know about it. She's in no shape to drive. I'll only handle what's necessary to comply with the law, with her homeowners/community regulations, with what will keep her (and others) safe.
Going to find some drugs!
Can you contact whatever is the association for the blind in the US.There maybe somewhere that he could be placed. he is going to need care for the rest of his life.
Do you actually want either or both to be living with you? If not tell your useless siblings that you have done your best but can't continue and you will be looking into placement for both of them. Do you have POA? It sounds as though both would do better in a supervised living situation where they would have the opportunity to engage in activities if they wish.
she is always leaving the hot water on too which is great for the bills coming in. I feel so sorry for her though as she was upset she left it on. What an awful illness just bloody cruel.
Anyhow took dad back to dentist for his three cavities-yikes expensive! Going to try to wean him off candy and switch to trail mix. Not sure how well he brushes teeth. Dentist suggested I supplement with a rinse which means either that is another task he will need help with in AL or when I see him I will have him rinse then.
I had sent an email to some of my cousins and aunts informing them of dads move to AL. One replied its difficult to know how things are going since mom passed away-hello just pick up the phone and call me.
Though my dad only lived with us for 4 months and I was mom and dads caregiver 3 months before that and I suppose actually going back about a year before they moved- well this week I think I am returning to the land of the living. Still not sleeping well but better, went back to the gym this week-first time since March. Eating less as I was stress eating a lot in June and gained some weight. also in about 3 weeks going back to work 2 days/week at a job I held almost 2 yrs ago.
Dad's AL has happy hour on friday with wine and beer-going to make this a permanent day to visit dad.
im guessing the lady to be 65 + yrs old ..
jack me for some weed is not a literal term . its slang for " hit me up " ..
My whine today which is not at all important is that my husband won't use the phone when he needs to check on an appointment, he has to actually go to the Dr's office and ask!
My whine today is about the air conditioning again. Mom closes off the vents, then complains about the house getting too hot in the afternoon. Surely we must need to replace the system! I know the system is working because it is freezing in my rooms with the open vents. So I open her vents. Then she turns off the air conditioner at night and closes her vents, so I wake up to a warm room. It is a never-ending quest to keep the temperature right here. She won't leave the vents and thermostat alone. If I covered the thermostat box, she would take a hammer to it, so that isn't a good idea. Besides, she could still close the vents.
Last week someone called about looking at our air conditioner. She made an appointment with him, even though our system is under contract. She didn't know who she made the appointment with, so I couldn't call to cancel. Fortunately, he called back to verify and I cancelled. I looked at the BBB complaints for the company and saw they were scammers. They offer a cheap cleaning deal, then tell old people their systems are bad and need to be replaced. The company called several more times to speak to my mother, not to me. I finally told the man do not call back again. I wonder how people live with themselves, sucking the life blood from the elderly. This scammer is the worst type of human on the planet.
Kaz... this will be my 3rd winter in Oregon. Every winter I swear that I am going to pack mom up and winter back in Florida. Sigh. So far that hasn't happened. Lack of sunshine just about kills me during the winter. Winters are the WORST!
And looloo, JessieBelle, I understand about the scams. Its a shame there isn't more regulation to prevent companies, mail order stuff, home improvement contractors, all of it, from targeting elderly. I find it telling that one of the biggest abusers of this sort of thing, at least in my house, is the AARP themselves! They send my dad monthly "renewal" notices and cards for "new memberships." My father tells me he has sent them money several times but they keep sending new cards, saying he needs to send money. Hm. It just doesn't look good when the AARP is engaging in this sort of predatory mailings, too.
I've signed this house's phone number up for "Do Not Call" list but there are still regular calls to try and sell home monitoring, home safety, call buttons - that sort of thing.