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Today was the mother of all explosions. It began at six am. Id heard someone walking around in the diningroom before 5 am. By six, my father knocks on my door telling me to come upstairs. I thought my children or their guest had done something. He starts in with "I called your sister..." as soon as he said that I exploded. He woke me up out of a sound sleep to talk about my sister and the fact that he called her and there was a smoke alarm going off in her hotel room. He told me to call the hotel she was in and see if that was true For the next two hours there was a screaming match all because a document my sister printed had the title of "Mrs" (an error) instead of Ms. My father was shouting and screaming that she married her boss. He threatened to call her boss and "get to the bottom of things" Meanwhile my children had a friend sleeping over. Well at least she got to witness what truly goes on instead of thinking Im exaggerating. He later had the nerve to share his "theories" with the HHA and had the nerve to look at me and tell her "Im going to take your advice" This is a horrible situation to deal with every day.
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Crazy crap.
So I worked alot this morning. I have multiple tasks in a day. First, I take care of a house and dogs for people out of town. This is at 6:30 a.m. Finished and came home at 7:30 a.m. Mom is now up and I took care of pills, her shower, her clothes, her breakfast and her walk to the clubhouse (up the street) and exercise class.
Got to housecleaning job at 9:30 and started work. Slaved and worked til noon. Then went to take care of dogs again. Got home for lunch at 12:50.
Mom had apparently just napped and was eating her Meals on Wheels. We chatted for a bit. She talked about her napping, her teeth, my job, and misc things and asked 3 or 4 times what time it was. I told her. She always is stunned at the time of day when I tell her.
I fixed myself some lunch and then went in my room at 1:30pm. I did some work on my computer and then went in the kitchen to clean up my dishes. Talked chit chat with mom and then came back in my room. I got into my lounge clothes and lay on my bed, read my book a little and closed my eyes just for a little bit.
I awoke about 45 minutes later (so..it's about 2:45ish) and stretched and got on my computer again. At 3:10, I hear my cell phone ring and the called ID says it's Mom. I stare at it and wonder why the heck she is calling me in my room from the other room. She never hardly ever calls me on my phone unless I am out and she needs something. So I go out in the kitchen and find her sitting at the phone. I ask her, "Why the heck are you calling me"? She looks up at me with this kind of haughty, nasty look and says, "Well, I didn't know you were home".
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oh dear daughter52! yeh crazy crap!! mum asked me why im so tanned the other day and asked if i was taking something? im just back from a sun holiday? its scary stuff!
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Two words ..... explosive diarrhea
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Every now and then it dawns on me that I am spending my entire waking life feeding someone who rarely is able to communicate anymore....and then wait (not usually long) to clean up the resulting explosive diarrhead from it....God forgive me, but at times like this I wonder why I was ever born....or wait...I just answered my own question...meanwhile...all the rest of my d*mn family lives their lives to the fullest and I do mean fullest.....
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i dont believe in a next life . i believe we'll be rewarded in this life for caring for our elders . the example it presents to your kids and grandkids is a big return in itself . self centered sibs may not raise the same quality of kids / g kids that you do .. at a point you have to take care of your own ..
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hope22,
my mother always told me youd meet the movers and shakers and glamor queens / kings on their way back down . in 80 years shed just seen it happen a lot . ive known two residential builders who had their name almost in lights a decade ago . one died at 45 , the other wiped out so hard he even lost his own home / collateral .. me and the old 51 chevy are still stump jumping on the low road .. hang in there ..
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I think you Mom spoke words of wisdom....part of my big regret in this life is that because of exactly what is going on now...which I have also done all of my life...now Mama, before it was my Dad...although that was a long distance issue but I lived out of a suitcase...so just as I reached the point in life where I was interested in having a family, life happened...the marriage never happened, and neither did the children...I am the end of the line other than my brothers two boys who NEVER come to see Mama either....sometimes the regret is too overwhelming. I know that i am where I need to be...today has just been harder than others...but there are those moments where I wonder what life might have been if I had just been a little more concerned about myself....and not always putting everyone elses happiness before my own...I don't feel like a good person..I don't feel like a martyr either...I just feel like a fool.......
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Oh Lord...as if being stuck 24/7 at home, having to watch some of the crapola they come out with for summer TV is almost mindnumbing...Tonight's fare is The Quest....I walked into the den, just having finished cleaning up yet another diarrhetic episode and getting yet another load of laundry going to hear one of the characters, all dressed in medieval garb, say...."If though makest a mess, it shall be ye who cleaneth it up"...I thought to myself...must be a show about medieval caregivers....
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Love the pic Captain! :)
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Hope, glad you have a sense if humor about all the (crap) I don't know if I could be cleaning up diarrhea from someone else. When my father was suck and dying I used to have to wipe his bottom after a movement and I would gag the whole time. If my mother ever starts doing what your mom does I don't know what I will do!
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i cant watch tv , hope . my god even the weatherperson screams like theyre cracked out of their gourds . hype , hype , hype . its demeaning to anyone with a brain ..
havent had a tv in 8 yrs ..
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The telemarketers who start off "Seniors, blah, blah, blah, safety pendent, blah, blah, FREE, blah, blah, $2,000 in grocery coupons if you sign up today, blah, blah, press 1 to apply, blah, press 5 if you want us to contact your doctor saying you declined this offer.

I listen to the whole spiel because usually on these telemarketing ads at the end they will say "press 4 to be put on the 'do not call list'".

I am already on the do-not-call-list, been on there for years, recently updated the numbers. One day I got 3 of the very same identical spiel voice, but I can't lodge a complaint with the FCC because the caller ID's were from different numbers, or say they say.... [sigh]
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I think I've done it so long now I am just numb to it...but it still is very tiring...especially when I am just about to finally sit down and put my feet up for a few minutes, then to have to immediately start all over again....

I agree about TV Captain, I think I have it on for the noise, but lately the noise is getting on my nerves...all the ridiculous, stupid programming they have now..and the fact they just keep creating more of the same thing means most folks are watching it...kind of scary to think we have that many folks out there who are so easily entertained....I live reality 24/7 why do I want to want to watch reality tv...I watch mostly the Discover Channel or Animal Planet...or the national network news...or turn it to the all music all the time channels....
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it took me 9 months to get the renter upstairs to comprehend that i wasnt going to coexist with her filthy , barking dogs . the day i snapped and put the dogs on the road i came down the hill , sat down in my bunker and a battery powered clock was ticking . i yanked the battery out of the sob . thats where my head is at ..
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Oh, I totally understand! :)
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im not one to whine , ill take action every time instead . ive emailed aps and told wendy that i understand why edna and i cant go for our truck rides . allegations of me having a cup of beer at IL ( gasp ) and a total of 12 beers in 6 days of staying with edna ( gasp ) . aps is charged with protecting the elder and erring on the side of safety . i told wendy its ok , i understand , and edna and i will make the best of what we have .
aps has a hard job that requires hard calls and i believe in good communication . i want them to know where my thought process is at .
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Dear God in Heaven how much can one human $hit in the same day....I am so freaking sick of cleaning up the massive mess every time I change her...it is never easy...but what on God's green earth is going on...... I am at my wit's end and every time I have to do it now I get more and more resentful.....I have lost my mind.
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and for some reason the fact that she lies there and laughs hysterically at me the entire time I am trying to clean her up just makes me go over the edge...God I hate it that I KNOW she can't help it...I KNOW this is not her...I KNOW all this and yet I catch myself actually feeling hatred deep inside my soul...and regret...the regret word is the one that keeps nagging at me....that I have given up my entire life and now my best years are behind me.....I hate it...and I hate myself for feeling this way...I feel like I am living in h*ll
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Thinking out loud...and continuing on about diarrhea....(I can't believe I am now spending my life online talking about diarrhea... wow) anywhoooo.....Mama has of recent, developed pitting edema....the past few days of continuous adjusting of the foot of the bed combined with the fat pillow under her legs has seemingly stopped the oozing of fluid from her legs, so I wonder if that is one of the contributors to the newest onset of her problem....just wondering if anyone else has had that issue with a loved one....
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maybe your mom has reached the stage of three shifts of care . your trying to do something that requires multiple personal aids and a nurse on duty around the clock .
i cant direct traffic , and build an interstate bridge singlehandedly ..
aunt just went to nh . shes a fiesty , mind changing , spry little fall risk . she keeps em hopping and i mean 3 - 4 of them ..
dont kill yourself . we have human frailties and LIMITATIONS ..
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if mom is lying there laughing at you she is clinically insane . that will break your head . its too much , ray charles could see that ..
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Hope, that doesn't sound good. Get her checked out? The worst that can happen is nothing improves.

Right on cue: sound effects from mother's bathroom, I'm sitting two rooms away! Oh God I hope this isn't catching… Big hugs to you, get on the phone x
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i dont have a fuss this am . gonna stop by walgreen and get edna a 5 x 7 of me and the g kids . if she gets weak enough in the head to think im an illusion id like her to have some reassurance at hand . she questions all her memories as she knows her brain isnt working well ..
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Cap, I noticed the new photo. I will need to look at it in my kindle. The photo is very tiny in my laptop. Whereas, I can enlarge it in the kindle.

I thought maybe you all might enjoy a little touching story to help balance out the bad or sad or frustrating day for you. I had a headache all day, got worse as the hours went by. To the point of squinting.

Anyway, I saw this video this morning in the news. I watched it and actually had tears in my eyes. Tears of happiness for the woman whose daughter has cancer.

Please google: bank automated thanking machine.

The Canadians did it again!!! Last xmas, one of their airlines did a great gifting for their passengers on that flight. I posted it here at that time. I was so filled with envy!
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No, they know how she is ...she doesn't laugh all the time, mostly when I am in pain. And we have been told, and I have also read, that one of the residual effects of a tramatic brain injury is this type of inappropriate laughter...I think it's also a by product of dementia in some folks....

I am trying to arrange to get ME some medical help....Mama has been covered pretty well. This morning we just have the CNA and then prayerfully the day will be free of intruders. Going to try to pull myself back together. I think the knowledge that my only "sitter" who could be here pretty much when needed is now a thing of the past. She will be unable to help for a long time..possibly never. She may never be able to drive again. If need be I will tell my brother I HAVE to have a day off and he can use vacation. I did let him know last night of the issues I am having with MY health and with Mama's additional issues and he told me let him know...so I will for sure....going to try to stop being wonder woman and admit I can't do it all........
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Book..I had to google that as well, how awesome is that video...thanks for the smiles!!!
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Hope, did you see - again another company from CANADA - the West Jet Xmas video from last year? That was touching. And I envied them. And.. one man only asked for socks and underwear. Just Google: West Jet christmas gifts 2013.

I tend to keep the website links of funny videos. I was feeling a bit down today. So for the past 30 minutes, I've been replaying the dinosaur pranks from Japan, and the New York coffee shop prank (has to do with Carrie movie.) I was laughing so loud and hard. I kept waking up dad. He kept muttering for me to go sleep. It's now 12:15am. I feel a bit lighter now. Still have my headache. But, I think I will sleep better tonight. Night you all!
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I will check that one out too! I love those videos...wow..I think to myself what on earth would I do now without the age of the internet??? How on earth did caregivers do it then????
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Well, the day has started better and our new CNA really washed Mama's hair so well.....everything is so clean and fresh now...I know that makes Mama feel so much better too. She has eaten a good meal and is resting...so I'm about to get myself going here. I ended up venting a LOT to the CNA but she told me that is another thing they are here for so vent away. I think I had gotten used to being able to talk to the other folks and I just have not felt open enough to new folks to be able to talk...today was the day...and it helped....
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