Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
kazzaa, here in the States we have an insect called a "stink bug", a weird looking creature less than an inch long... my S/O would go screaming into the night if he had to gather up one and dispose of it.... my gosh, the insect doesn't bite, sting, or burst into flames [just don't step on it].

Last month I thought S/O was going to jump up onto a chair when he saw a chipmunk in the house..... I knew I was going to be in for a long evening trying to direct that critter out the front or back door.

I have to thank my Dad, he taught me well. Not afraid of most insects, but I will go after a Wasp with a can of Raid if I can't get it to leave the premises on its own. I can handle worms, crickets, praying manthis, live mice, chipmunks, small turtles, not afraid of cows, horses, goats, or any other 4 legged livestock. Been chased by a goose once :)
(1)
Report

Wow "stink bugs"! i was attacked by a swan once she chased me for almost ten minutes up on dry land!! never did know what i did to piss her off guess i must have been flirting with "her man" boy was she pissed! As long as i know what it is and how dangerous a "critter" is im ok but show me a live mouse OR worse a rat and im up on chairs!!
When i was younger i was pulling my jumpers down from the closet and a live mouse fell in my hair and got his feet? caught i screamed the house down until my brother came to the rescue he then said "why are you screaming the poor little things more scared of you than you are of him" oh piss off bro!
(2)
Report

hope,
I just finished work but this has been on my mind . let that damned house go and never look back . very few people during this recession have actually been evicted from their homes . most bought houses that were artificially overvalued , many with predatory loans . when the market reset itself and the home values plummeted , most owed more than the houses were worth and just walked away . love and take care of your mom and youll end up wealthy beyond most peoples comprehension . money does not equate to wealth .
all anyone really needs is a freakin shack . that's happening all over the world right now . people are tired of being enslaved to corporation and banks and many are moving into shacks not much bigger than garden sheds and semi retiring to enjoy life . the mcmansions have became liabilities . I could see it coming 25 yrs ago ..
(3)
Report

Captain, you are so right about the McMansions..... we are a very spoiled nation here in the States. Back when I worked residential real estate, young couples, who didn't have a dime saved but had well paying jobs and 2 brand new vehicles, wanted their "dream house" now.... they didn't want to start out in what we called long ago "starter houses".... nope, they wanted big now, and to use both incomes to qualify for a mortgage.

Back in my day, working couples used one income to qualify for a mortgage, thus they bought smaller less expensive homes to start out with. That way, if one stopped working, that one income that was left could still pay the mortgage.
(2)
Report

Amen Cap! i was abroad when this "boom" hit ireland my friends who were then mortgage FREE? were not happy? they had to go and REMORTGAGE? i told them this bubble is going to burst big time and you will be sorry! one friend had two houses i told her sell one and have a good life do it NOW! NO she kept both and remortgaged one and is now in sh*t creek! WHY? she wanted to leave a house EACH to her two daughters?? who does that? I mean being mortgage free is fantastic our parents would never have had this so good BUT no greed takes over and people went bananas! Whose laughing now? ME!!!!!!!!!! yeh bide my time grab a nice little repossesion and im laughing all the way with no bank or crap! I could see it four years before it happened but noone would listen to me?
(2)
Report

mums breathing is very deep should i be worried sounds like me when ive just come off my bike but she does nothing? dont like the sound of it heavy deep breathing? i have emergency doc on call but she seems fine but hey this is new its like shes out of breath? shes ok and eating etc............. scary stuff?
(0)
Report

Kazzaa, same here it was gut feeling about the housing market.

OMG people were panic buying here because the inventory was low so prices went up.... example, list price $500k, contract at $575k because of a bidding war, appraiser said house worth $500k so $75k had to come out of buyer's pocket, buyer got 100% loan for $500k. Seller went looking for new home, found him/herself in the same scenario, if looking in the same area.

When the market re-corrected itself, that home fell back to $375k. Prices are starting to go up, but one has to hold onto the house as a "long term" investment.
(0)
Report

FF its all happened here too! Only the french arnt as fussed about house ownership as we are AND the germans will not buy what they can not afford!! so yeh every other country suffered the worst!

We are land obsessed here in Ireland it dates back to the british rule having land was survival! and its got worse now yep now they want 2 cars and 2 houses one abroad like we are all rockerfella?? stupid people arnt happy with thier lot anymore they want more and more its BS i would be so happy with just my house paid in full something i own mine thats it one car dosnt have to be huge just working get me from A to B big enough for my long legs and im happy!

Yeh kids now want to save for a house now before marraige?? young kids that should be out living than thinking about this crap christ imagine thinking mortgage at 18yrs old?? i was travelling europe and partying?? strange generation? it was different in mums day but like you said one mortgage one income? you just couldnt do that now!
I may never own a house here so i may move to spain and buy a small house for 59000 outright then retire there in the sun WIN WIN i can open up a coffee shop anywhere and i understand spanish so what? work my butt off here to pay for a house ill die trying to pay the bank back? im 48 id never get a mortgage or it would be a small one?
Yeh im going to take it easy after this quiet life for me and no banks to worry about! I can live off oranges and fish!
(1)
Report

with the cost of electricity in europe , people are going to start building small shacks underground to take advantage of the free 56 degrees the earth has to offer . its already happening .. in many cases only the front of the house is exposed . they look like hobbit homes and i simply love em ..
i wanted to sell this house and build one but wth ? my bunker is about the same thing , just needs dolled up a bit ..
(1)
Report

In defence of large houses..LOL ! Hubs and I got a big one when the market was down, in case the folks had to move in. Saw it go up big time, then back down, but we are still ahead. Thank goodness we did, folks are here now. And they are able to help with the bills for services, or I would be lookiing for something smaller.. But we just convinced our daughter to buy a Condo.. it was cheaper than renting for us in this area, and at least she can rent it out if she marries.She has a roomie, and that helps, but I really worry about how so many young people today will EVER be able to own a home. With college bills, etc the american dream of owning a home is going bust. We had her buy a handicapped accesible unit , the ways are going here that should be a help in the future.. heck I want to move there! we used to think we could fund our retirment on selling this place.. not so much any more
(1)
Report

Cap i must send you a pic of mums house! when i find my thingy! its a dormer bungalow if that makes sense! its a posh part of town so it will sell no problem. She paid 11000 for it and she could get 400,000 not a bad investment but the NH if it comes to that will grab it or most of it! Of course theres lots of repairs needed the garage roof is leaking,front of house no plaster, wall falling down because of tree roots etc...... id say to sell it alot need to be spent on it but its so expensive here. If you ever want a paid holiday and a bit of work HA! I dont even know how much a new garage roof would be to put in the old one was perspex then a shitty wood jobby?

I think its great you can just build a house like that! ive thought of buying land and getting something built but wth!! i want peace and a ready to die in house!!
(0)
Report

pamzimm you were not lucky you were clever! I think of how stupid people and banks were here? my friend no offence but she wasnt that bright she had a job in a light shop she and her ex sold the house she got half 175,000 WOW no she went and got a mortgage for another 175 bought a house for 350000 and now its worth..........82000 yep shes in deep and lost her job to boot? if i was around her then she would never have bought it i would have forced her to keep the money and wait but no wouldnt listen? she wont even discuss it now? she thinks the market will go up again NEVER to the extent it was may reach 125000 and peak but shell owe for the rest of her life she has no kids but will die paying for this? Yes its scary and im glad i dont have kids sometimes but my nephew will get anything i leave so he should be ok as ill be his rich aunt??? either that or it goes to a cats home!!!!!! Yeh maybe im german? i dont like debt and have held out either i buy something cheap outright or i rent for life a mortgage is too stressful now times are scary! But look people in France rent for life its no big deal some of them buy cheaper homes in the north for holidays and they survive i think renting will be the new buying as its not an option now for the young unless they have rich parents!
Here they are saying the bubble is starting in Dublin? yep lunatics out stampeding for a house IDIOTS did they learn anything?
(1)
Report

Kaz...What city do you live in? Dublin?
(0)
Report

No JB i live in a one horse town 20 miles from Dublin! when dublin goes up we go up we are now a suburb of dublin i guess! Its mums home not where i would choose to live which makes caring harder! When mum goes i may move to Spain healthier lifestyle and much more sunshine 8mths a year YAY! Funny when you start to be a carer you think of your oldage alot more and you have time to think OH BOY do you have time to think!! SO yes i think i was meant to go to spain as thats where ill end up this country is getting too expensive although its a beautiful country it rains ALOT! I guess i want it all a small cottage in the west for the savage weather AND a house in Spain for the healthy life!! Cant stop a person from dreaming eh? and lets face it we do alot of dreaming in this job!! I am opening up my own coffee shop eventually so where i open is irrelevent i can understand spanish so to learn it would be easy i think now i want a quiet life even if i make a couple of hundred a week ill be happy yep life is for living caring for mum teaches you values thats for sure! I want to die happy! knowing i tried my hardest to live a full life as mums life was just sad! Yep i am on this site then im looking at property in spain with not an a** in my pocket but that will come!!!!!!
(0)
Report

I googled Earth Dublin, it is a gorgeous city!!

I dream a lot too. Not a d*mn thing wrong with that. One day those dreams WILL come true ...knock on wood, cross fingers, toss salt over my shoulder and rub my lucky coin!!!

I love Oregon in the summertime...Love Florida the other 10 months. Hmm....I think we both have the same thought process just worlds apart. Spanish is the nd language in FL. and I love coffee !! See?? gmta
(0)
Report

Oh JB youve no idea what i do to make my dreams come true i think i am losing it!! I pray,ask my angels,light candles,lucky coin??? i have lucky pants,necklace,ring,candle,feathers,the secret book,morning positive affirmations,a wish list thats falling apart in my wallet a false check made out in my wallet a wish board,lucky pink candle for love,green for money,white for peace,a wish list under my pillow, ive been to the fairies in the middle of the wood and banged drums then buried all my wishes,ive seen several mediums and healers all good, do all sorts of white witch stuff to speed things up,slow things down,attract money,peace love you name it!
Do you think i need help?
(0)
Report

May i just add my luck has changed and ive won alot lately!! Mmmm my madness is starting to pay off!! Won 100e before my hols then 500 last week then 20e today EH? watch this space...................
(1)
Report

Did i mention my lucky knickers!!
(0)
Report

So where is HOME? JB
(0)
Report

Lucky knickers? LOL!! I was always told to wear my best knickers cuz you never know when you'll go to the hospital and have them cut off? HA! This all takes time...one day we will look back and be so proud of ourselves and let our siblings sit in their guilt. Not me. Right now home is Lebanon, Oregon. My heart is still in Hollywood, Florida!!

I'm loving the Essential Oils I've started. Maybe it is mind over matter but whatever, as long as it's working!!!!
(1)
Report

Captain...you are right..and that is exactly what I am doing. The difficult part of it was that it was not a house I bought that was more than my means...it was a really cool place on a little pond with a lot of beautiful ducks and they would swim right up next to my patio. I had almost paid off the mortgage entirely, and the mortgage payment was not that bad, BUT after Mama's initial tramatic in home accident, and the mountain of co pays after because she didn't have Part B at the time, and then the enormous mo penalty because of the obtaining Part B so late, all of it together ate up what I was using to make my mortgage payment...it was either put Mama in a predicament or let it go, so I'm letting it go. The nagging part of it is the sibling who has seen no responsibility whatsoever towards anything related to the care of my Mom. But all that aside...in all honesty, life is fleeting, and so are finances for the most part...and I have seen a LOT of people whom everyone swore up and down had their act together, but they never learned to live within their means and now they are on the skids and they are losing their minds....I have never tried to live beyond my means, am happy with the simple things...and even though I think I am detecting a large amount of guilt now on the part of my brother, I told him today that I would rather have Mama here with us than that house....

Sadly, in addition to the issue as it stands...the developer who runs the HO association failed to properly repair the spillway when it broke a couple of years ago and so when they repaired it and the pond refilled, it did not refill to the point it once was so what used to be a waterfront home has been reduced to a pond on a field with a bit mudhole in the middle of it...also right after I had to leave my home and move back here, the same developer killed all my ducks ...so now that place holds nothing but sadness and horror for me...so best left behind...it is all very sad....so time to move forward...which I have actually done..I just have to get my clothing and the remainder of my furnishings home...most of which i will probably sell and put in a little nest egg for mad money... :)
(1)
Report

On a similar note...I learned this morning that my good friend and next door neighbor back there, whom I have missed a lot and with whom I used to do a lot of fun outings...her sister died suddenly about two months ago...She is devastated...I feel horrible she did not call me but she said she knew I had my hands full...and three weeks after that her brother passed as well...So talk about how quickly life can change.....how fast you can lose people you love...so I do NOT want to be griping and arguing about STUFF and suddenly lose someone I love...because as aggravating as my brother is and as much as I get mad and vow I am never going to speak to him after all this...I know that is not true..he is my brother...and as my Mama always taught us...you do not want the last thing you said to someone to be something that is spiteful, hateful, hurtful...and that is true towards my brother...now I can't say the same for his wife..but that's a hole "NOTHER" story... :)
(2)
Report

Oh hope thats so sad! but as you say not a happy place with those memories so it was meant to be!
Your bro sound like mine pissing about putting in garage shelves????????? money could be used for other things? is this a man thing does he think when mums gaga that shelves are going to solve all the crap ahead????
I asked him to make a pot of tea as he was putting the kettle on i told him i was tired and mum wanted tea? he said "no" had his herbal tea and left?
If he wasnt such a liability and would just man up my life would be easier but i think he feels that i am here rentfree?? BS
I had serious anger issues towards him now i wonder if hes not right in the head? he reacts to nothing says nothing i think that "silence" is worse than chinses torture? like wtf do you think then? nothing,nada? i am sick of hearing hes in denial but from where i am this "denial thing" is looking good to me think ill lose it and pretend to be in denial?? yeh pack my bag leave a note and say yeh mums fine a few fires but hey im in DENIAL so ill just get on with my life SEE YA!
(0)
Report

HA! hope bros wife is a parasite came here from thailand stole money clothes off mum so i had her kicked out with him! he didnt believe it and they are living down the road now gosh if hed married a nice normal gal id have left years ago but she will not step foot inside this house again OR be near my mum! Yeh my bro hasnt been the same towards me since but i dont care dont bite the hand that got her over to this country in the first place can you imagine how i felt when i realised my own SIL was stealing from mum? yeh then bro took it out on me? still i was protecting mum from her so i did the right thing!
Hope ive had to forgive ALOT this past year as i had to the stress they were causing me was making me ill and there will be no love lost when mum dies and the h*ll they put me through! Ill be laughing at them when im at peace and they are waking up from denial!!
(0)
Report

over here kaz , a fairy is an effeminate guy and lucky pants would be a nice looking womans pants lying haphazardly on my foot stool or floor . well , lucky for me anyway .
like ya said -- one can dream ..
(2)
Report

Cap, wasn't Tinkerbell a fairy? Though we have the other kind too.
(0)
Report

Worried aboutDad. His BP has been anywhere from 85/44 to 144/96. He seemed clamy today even thoe it has been hot for the past 2 weeks. Said he had some pains in his chest so I gave him the liquid morphine as Hospice directed. He's been shaky more than usual and couldn't eat tonite as he couldn't keep food on his fork. He sleeps a lot more now...a couple of naps a day. He says he wants to go places but when we do he has a hard time walking and breathing. He is in end stage copd and he was drinking a lot of whiskey & diet pepsi for about 2 weeks when he finally got so dehydrated I had to call hospice and inquire about his health. I know the signs of dehydration but with his health being what it is I totally forgot. He has been having dreams the past months abut passed on loved ones and says when he wakes he call out to them then realizes it was a dream. His dreams seem more reality than not. IS it his body & spirit telling him it is time to go? He isn't eating much anymore and craves liquids more but then there are days he can eat like a champ. We had some conversations about my siblings not wanting to come see him and I gave him the reasons they refuse but I think it upset him. I don't want to be the one to hurt him but he does need to know that they have issues and it isn't because of him...it is because of their families. I just want him to be at peace with his situation and know that he is loved even thoe his own children don't give a damn. I do and I have been trying to do the best I can to help him be healthy but it is to no avail. My siblings don't care and no one of them has been around to see him in 30 years except myself, my younger sibling and my other sibling that he took care of for 3 years before she passed. I have been with him 24/7 this past 13 months and have not had one visit from any of my siblings. Now that he is in these last stages of health, my youngest sibling is planning a trip. My two older siblings were together last week but never make the 7 hour trip to see him. I am angry with them but sort of understand. Life sometimes sucks but the bottom line is I was here for him and if they don't want to be then fine. His time is limited and I see the decline. May he go in eace and may my siblings deal with their issues all in the love of God.
(1)
Report

DadsHelper - I'm sorry for your dad. For you to see how close he is to the end and yet your siblings don't care to even pretend to care for him to come visit. Don't be too understanding with them. My siblings live in the states. In all these years when we thought mom was finally going to die, my siblings would fly home. Their tickets aren't cheap. Airfares can be from $2000.00 up. When mom was dying last year, most of them dropped everything and flew 2 or 3 days later after I texted them. Airfare went as high as $2900.00 per person. But they were able to say their peace with mom before she died.

Just be there for your father. The clamminess reminds me of mom when she was close to the end. But I thought it was cold sweat. Her skin was so icy cold, yet she was sweating profusely. I didn't know this was one of the signs. But this had happened several weeks before her final rest. {{Hugs}}
(3)
Report

DadsHelper...I'm so sorry for all you and your Dad are going through right now. With Mama, she has two grandsons whom she has cherished more than life itself and once they were born it was like her own kids took second place...that's the way it is with the grands right??? Anyway...those same grandsons ...one of them has been here a couple of times, the other one NEVER comes. Mama's dementia is pretty advanced, so I'm not sure how aware she is of all of it. I used to mention things about them having issues with me, and finally decided she probably doesn't need or want to hear any of it...I have finally just started telling her every night, how much she is loved...I mention their names, tell her they love her and remind her of how much we all love her. As strange as it sounds.....and I sure don't show love the way they do, but I think they love her, they are just all very selfish, greedy people and so their needs come first...I think in their heads she doesn't know the difference and so why bother...it's not fun anymore....I have had a hard time dealing with all of it. Mama has had some very close calls in the past few months, where I thought we were losing her...still they did not come...nor did my SIL who drives right past this street every single week...she has not been in so long I don't ever care to see her again...but nonetheless, I just hold Mama's hand and tell her that she is the most precious lady God ever put on this earth and we love her so much....and I pray that God surrounds her with love and peace....Mama deserved a LOT more from the people she has loved and sacrificed for her entire life. Sounds like you are taking very good and loving care of your Dad and that is what matters...just keep doing that and he will be ok...as will you...and the others will be left to their own what I can only assume will be guilty and tortured thoughts about what they should have done and it will be too late....
(0)
Report

Towards the end many children don't come to see their parents because they are afraid. I will just leave it at that if you think about it you can fill in the blanks.
Dad's helper it does indeed sound as though he is reaching the end. Many people towards the end dream of loved ones or even think they have been visited sometimes it is loved ones and sometimes complete strangers.
With COPD not being able to breath is very distressing so don't be afraid to give the morphine it will provide a lot of relief. Dehydration is not painful and some believe it can actually release endorphines which make the patient feel better.
Soda and alcohol are not very good things to be drinking so it is good he has stopped. Are his legs and feet swollen, if so and he is not taking a diuretic (water pill) ask hospice for a prescription because fluid may also be building uo in his lungs which make breathing more difficult. Also does he have oxygen? That will also add comfort and make sleeping easier. When he can't feed himself would he alow you to feed him? as long as he is interested in food provide it but once he doesn't want it do not try and force it. Maybe a suppliment like Ensure would be easy to drink. Unfortunately the dying process with COPD is not fast or very pleasant so be generous with the morphine and ask for a larger dose if it is not working. As long as it is increased slowly you are in no danger of killing him with it.
Morphine is extremely constipating so make sure you ask hospice about giving him laxatives. Try and maintain whatever has been his normal bowel pattern. he just won't have the strength to push if he gets constipated and an enema will also be hard on his breathing. If you have to take him out for any reason make sure you take a dose of the morphine with you. If your were given a dropper ask the hospice nurse for a syringe. it will be with out a needle and given in the same way but convenient to slip in a purse or pocket
(1)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter