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thanks hope . the love of money , not money the barter and necessary commodity .. our goods and services have to have a value placed on them for trade purposes but some people equate personal monetary gain with wealth . they demean themselves and will probably regret it in this lifetime ..
id give my aunt my warmest shirt and freeze my ass off . shed give me her last vittle and starve to death .. read it and squirm church fanatics ..
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The world is a better place with you in it Capt miserable old b*****d that you are.

Hope I'd adopt you in a heartbeart wonderful daughter that you are.
Hugs to you both
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What ^^^^ She ^^^^^ said.
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They are having some kind of PBS special tonight about the 50's...I think that era is my favorite of all the music...it has been a nice drizzly day and Mama has been cozy and happy and I have to say it is the most relaxing day. I think I may already be enjoying the thought of about to be free of that huge albatross that used to be my home....I am almost giddy. as much as I have chunked from the basement this week, I think I will have a lot of success in letting most of the rest go. I want to keep the letters from my parents when I first moved away from home to go to college ....I never want to lose them...I always wrote them all through the week too and it is sad how letter writing is such a lost art it seems...also back in the day when it was considered particularly ill bred to not write a note of thanks when people did something nice for you. I'm glad I grew up in those days....I cherish my letters....my pictures of our family together...those are the things I can't bear to let go of....I am going to cherry pick some items that are of particular interest to me, two of my gumbo dishes for when I become inspired to cook Cajun....my pretty shellfish motif platters and dishes for those seafood nights...my clothes....it will be nice to have a selection of pretty things for the rare time I do go out...even if it's the grocery store..lol....going to box up most of the rest and donate it to the animal shelter flea market and some things for some families I think would like them around here...the more I let go of the better it feels....I think I am starting to see what it means about giving up all your "stuff" and following Him.....

I'm all for folks being successful...I wish them great success but to whom much is given much is expected and sometimes I think folks forget that part of it...don't know what got me on that rant...just feeling so free.....this time next week, that place will be but a memory and a wisp in the wind....forever free ..the happy things forever set free and the pain and heartache that it became will be over...and buried.....
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Veronica and Bonnie....yall are sweet! ((hugs))
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Mums been very quiet lately she found an old patchwork quilt under the stairs and is now fixing it up!! I am just always amazed how she has the concentration to create things BUT will still wear her depends with no pants??????????? My mind is boggled! I mean knitting and making quilts is no problem to her so why is everything else? Strange disease? I couldnt even concentrate on a letter right now so HOW do they do it? maybe shes pretending to have dementia?
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That is the hardest thing to understand about dementia...there is NO WAY to understand it...it seems to have such a different progression with some folks, in others it is so different...but it always seems they are able to focus on things or thoughts that USED to be enjoyable to them...not so much things in the present now...I wish Mama was pretending...but I know she's not...it is such a sad disease.. as progressed as it is...there are moments I still have with her where I know she knows me...and do I ever try to cram as much love as possible in those moments.... I am having so much difficulty knowing she's going to respite...I don't even want to think of when she goes.....I have been close to hyperventilating all weekend long whenever I think of it....
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Kazzaa, does your Mum wear outdoor shorts? Maybe if you find a clever looking pair of slip on shorts she will wear them. I noticed in the teen boy department of a store, there have a lot of outrageous looking designs that she might like. Maybe something silly she will find amusing :)
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rats I messed up. Told dad I would take him to a car show today and it was yesterday..... Then my sister gives me some suggestions but not practical ones. Go for a walk- the trails around here are full sun and will be lower 80's today. She forgets my vision problems too. So I will pick him up later take him out for a root beer float and a couple errands.
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57, taking an elderly person for walks along the trails in ridiculous!! I barely like to take my mom to the store anymore her as her perception is just about gone.

hope honey, your genuine love/kindness towards your mom is awe inspiring. At times I feel bad because it seems it's hard for me to be as nice to mine as you are to yours... BUT...as you said, progression and actions are different to each loved one. My mom would drive you batty!! Doesn't matter what I start to do ... she's right behind me asking why she can't put her shoes on, or if her one shoe and one slipper is ok or her 12 layers of clothing is going to be warm enough (97 today) or where the bathroom is or what is she supposed to be doing or where should I sit ( that one is asked 100's of times a day) All the above starts as soon as she walks out of her bedroom. It's a constant barrage of questions. She eats faster than I do, so for the next 15 minutes I have to hear she's done eating and what should be done with the plate. Of course I do answer her, but she forgets... so again and again.... there is never a moment of simply sitting without her wanting to be entertained in some way. My cheeks are bloody from biting them. Too me, this is the hardest part. Keeping her busy enough so I can get my own chores done. Sigh. I think I need a brown paper bad to hyperventilate with hope22. It's only 11:00 A.M. ... what a long day ahead.
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Jeanette, your comment about trail walking struck a chord with me. I sometimes wonder what in the world is wrong with my family! My son married two years ago in the mountains, lots of trails. My aunt actually suggested I should take Mom for a hike on the trails to "clear out the cobwebs"! They just do not get it at all! Denial is a nice safe place to be, I guess!
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My whine for the day or hour.... this morning we took my parents old car over to the mechanic as there are some issues with the vehicle. Anyway, when I get to the house, Mom and Dad were busy emptying out the car of personal items... ok, I can understand removing the handicapped placard, but the other things were unnecessary to take out....

Really now, do my parents really think someone would steal a half roll of paper towels?.... or Dad emergency Depends he has in a brown paper bag?.... or maps that are 15 years old?.... a pencil that is maybe 2" long?.... a variety of flower pattern umbrellas?... or the cloth that Mom has all the way across the back seat, which use to a curtain she had in the dining room of our house back in the 1960's, talk about taking recycling to the max, and other items :0
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Jeremy kyle,hoarding buried alive,hoarding,new hoarding,baggage wars,storage wars,obsessive hoarding? obsessive cleaning, how clean is your house? OMG mum watch some tv will you!!!!!! I want to bash my head off everywall in this house! Going for a bath then ill sit in the kitchen chain smoking until she goes to bed! Oh and shes lost her hearing aid so i cant even get away from her tV crap im sure the neighbours can hear it too!
Would go for a walk but its raining but i am going somewhere im going around the bend!!!!!!!!!!
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Ok so i put all the tea towels in the wash but kept one to use at dinner! I then lost it? searched everywhere "where the h*ll is that d*mn teatowel" I then went to make tea and found the tea towel in the fridge?????? now if this was mum well thats just normal so what the h*ll am i? Yep im going nuts!
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Falling on a trail would clear more than cobwebs. Call it denial, pretense, ignorance or just plain stupid. They DO NOT get it. At all. It's all tucked away in the "do not bother me" department in their head. Wait... when it's our parent's time to go ahead.... they'll crawl out of the woodworks. grrr

I'm giving thought for a 3 day weekend during Labor Day. BUT... every single time I leave mom with the brothers she comes home bloodied, bruised and needing stitches. My SIL should bring her lazy ass here and SIT with mom for the 3 days (plus watch my dogs) but Nooooooooooo..... that would be too much like the right thing to do. So...for now I will wait and keep on keepin on with mom.

ff.... curtains from the 60's as a throw in the back seat?? LOL!!! I needed that laugh. I've been in such a foul mood for 2 days. If I was a turtle I'd be the snapping kind.

You know (yes I'm going to ramble for a bit) mom is not incontinent and with my assistance/guidance she is able to walk around. there are so many fun wonderful stimulating things we could be doing but.... as soon as come up with a brilliant plan (wink) yes I occasionally have brilliant plans, we get going on it and the complaining starts in... my bubble instantly pops and everything that was going to be a fun time turns into a giant chore and usually I end up wanting to just go home and .... drum roll;;;;;;; SIT sigh.... hate that

Today my plan is to take the dogs, chairs and a Mike's Hard Mango Madness Lemonade and sit by the river. My one and only friend whom also caretakes for her COPD mom is bringing her dog as well. We are trying to socialize them as her dog is extremely Alpha Female ( oh yeah, she potties with her leg up)!! If we get them used to each other then we can hang out and swim the last few weeks of summer in my backyard. ooops, I've digressed way off track! So far mom is all down with the idea.... you just wait 5 minutes into the journey..... grrrrrrrrrrrrr procrastination at it's finest! :)
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In reality, I have a lot of regret. While I have tried to be here...always...for my parents all my life...there were several years there right before she took that horrid fall down her stairs where I was always worrying, thinking how I probably needed to move home to keep a closer eye on her...but I kept worrying about how I would figure all that out..the job, the house, the pets, the ducks...how on earth would I ever figure this all out, and yet I worried constantly about her...then that horrid evening came when we could not get her on the phone..we always called every evening...and that night my brother found her at the bottom of the basement steps....That was an evening I will never forget and after spending years trying to figure it all out....it took me about five seconds to decide what I was going to do....I am so blessed that that was not the end of our story because the doctors all said that it would be....we got mama back, although her early dementia along with the substantial injury to her brain took so much of Mama away from me....so while I totally remember those evenings of thinking...good Lord I wish she'd just sit there and be quiet for a little while.....I would give anything to have her aggravate me like that again....I don't know that I'm wording this right....I totally understand how they can drive you crazy....we all in reality are just doing the best we can......it's not the same for each of us...but a similar thread runs through all of it...how much we all love them...or we would not be here...
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But I still keep my brown paper bag handy....there are days when I surely need it.... lol
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I know hope22. Surely I will miss be questioned when all is said and done. But good grief...can I go to the bathroom x's 100. Do you want me to do something x's 100. Is there something I should be doing x's 100. Where are we going x's 200.

I literally begged her a minute ago to please just sit down for awhile and stop following right behind me. I had tears in my eyes.... please, for the love of GOD just sit still and stop questioning me. "Where do you want me to sit"? There, right there in your easy chair. "What chair, that chair"? Yes mom, that chair... tic toc "Can I go to the bathroom"? YES GO! "Where is it".

Brown paper bag....take me away....calgon is over-rated :/
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bless your heart...I know.....My grandmother was a lot like htat and I can remember when she would visit and my Daddy was still living at the time...many MANY years ago...she would do that....what are you doing? why are you doing it? should you be doing that? wouldn't you rather do it this way? don't you need to go to bed? do you really think you need to be watching that filth on tv??? (Cannon or The Virginian and such......yeah, that's racy grandma) go to bed....you'll feel bad if you don't go to bed....now to me in those days it was not focused on me...so I would get tickled seeing my Daddy's reaction to it....because he would start getting frustrated after the first two or three hours of it....lol...but she would finally drift on to bed and he would be sitting there and would finally say...dear God....peace at last...and yet you could still hear her talking all the way in the opposite end of the hall.....wow...that brings back a lot of memories...thanks Jeannette...now let me go find MY bag....hahaha
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This has brought back some hilarious memories...I can remember how my Grandma would always want a "tad" of something...back in those days...Mama would only allow us to have a soda every now and then so when we got one it was a big deal....it never failed that my grandma would start wanting a "tad" of my soda...and after way too many episodes of that I knew what that meant...there goes my soda...she would get that green cut glass tumbler and I can see her now emptying about 80% of my soda into that tumbler...I would start whining and I can still hear myself saying "Mama....!!!!!!! " Mama would just smile and say you didn't need the whole thing anyway...man oh man...after those episodes I was ready for her to goooooooo.....isn't it funny how some of these memories come back....
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JB HUGS!! i am stressed just reading your posts and mum isnt even there yet? she asked me three times did i put out the bins? thats enough to give me BP!! I cry too with stress its like enough already! I went out TWICE this wkend and shes still going on about it BUT NO dont ask brother to stay with her dosnt want to BOTHER HIM?? wreck my head and push me over the edge but dont bother golden boy(friends call him this and my sister is golden girl) im cinderella!!! where the h*ll is my prince?
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I hear you. Mom is consipated due to pain meds, which do not work well enough but with the dementia its very hard. She was in the bathroom for over 11/2 hours trying to go and she sweats buckets and it just takes every ounce of strength she has. She does not want to get up at all and she has not eaten yet. I am so upset with a migraines I have had for the last 4 days. and my anxiety. It tortures me to see her like this because I know how bad she feels. Crying again, whats new?
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Sorry Fli but that long in the toilet is not good you should never try and force it walking her around may help more fibre all bran OR prunes?

Mum has the opposite problem so i know what foods to give her OR avoid! rice water is good for diarrhea any fibre for constipation!
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if an elder is considered terminally ill it isnt a problem to give then as many as 9 otc stool softeners a day . colace powder works fine if its used every day but too much will burn them with gastric acid . softened chia seeds get the best results . bout a heaping tablespoon of them in 3 tbsps of hot water .
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HA! if someone had told me years ago id be on a forum discussing old peoples bowels id have laughed my head off!!! Funny how life turns out eh?

Mums gone to bed im elated! Criminal minds triple bill AND columbo one i havnt seen SH*T can life GET any better!
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Life just got better.................. i was drunk on friday AND i put fags in a safe place forgot about them now just remembered them!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLISS
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I keep telling Mom to not push that hard if its not going to come but she insists that its right there. She used to have colitis and now I am freaked out to give her too much of anything, fearing the blast that landed down the hall several months ago. Just cannot deal with that one. Cleaned it up anyway, had to have carpet cleaner out and had to tell him so he could use the proper stuff. Its 4:30 and she is taking a shower now and I am hoping she will be able to eat something, but after this she will want to go back to bed. Pain Management appoint tomorrow will talk about what other options there. I never do anything that they did not approve of.Scared to.I am with you Kazaa, talking about BM to people, I would have been horrified as near as 2 months ago!lol
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Not happy with my " sister " right now. It's been over two months since she saw my mom, but went away yet again for the weekend and has the nerve to call my mom to tell her about it. My mom tells me about it and I say " Oh that's nice! " My mom has to know I don't feel like hearing about my sister's wonderful life!
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Oh sallie its so frustrating BUT dont expect your mum to think like we do! Youre her carer and your sister is her daughter mum used to say im jealous???????? too d*mn right im jealous who wouldnt be! Im away next weekend and have told my brother to stay he dosnt have a problem BUT mum will kick off as she dosnt like to bother him but hes been warned not to listen to her OR else! he stays and thats it! He has to tell mum he wants to have a bath as he has no bath in his house and this works with mum?? Yes you feel like screaming some days i dont like to leave my cat as cat dosnt like brother hes not an animal person but i know mum sees hes looked after yeh i trust a dementia patient MORE with my cat than my siblings how fcked up is this?
heres my song........."sisters sisters blah blah blah sisters" you know the song something about not being able to live without your sister????? CRAP!
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To all those caregivers out there dealing with constipation and painkillers. Give stool softener every night and on day 3 it is time for an enema if nothing has worked.Nervous about an emema. Go buy a Fleets, lubricate the tip very well and insert slowly. If Mom yells stop for a minute till she calms down. It is painful when the anal muscles go into spasm but it soon passes. Push it the rest of the way in gently then squeeze the bag. you can do this right in the bathroom just have her bend over and hold onto the sink. Sit her on the toilet but tell her to hold it as long as possible. If she is safe alone stand out side the door but don;t go far away as she might start to feel faint. Ideally this is done with the patient lying on their left side in bed and transfer to comode or toilet if able. Protect the bed well with chucks or garbage bag with old towel covering. Cover patient till she gets up. If she hasn't opened her bowels in four days or more you may need to take her to the ER especially if she has abdominal pain.
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