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ff, that's a great idea! I hope they lower their limit for seniors. In my city, there's a chain of supermarkets that have a large clientele of shoppers who don't drive, and they provide a free van. I think it's great customer service.
I haven't had any real whines lately, and this one is minor too, but here goes: I can't believe I've spent most of my day, trying to get ONE relatively simple thing done for my mother. Her health insurance has a member website where you can go online, order your prescriptions, and have them mailed or ready at the local pharmacy. We're at that point now, where I need to handle this. So I noticed that her Aricept meds weren't listed. The doc that prescribed them is not part of her insurance co, she was referred to him, so it's a manual process to get the meds he prescribes put into the system. The website has an 'email the pharmacy' option, so I emailed and explained. Got an email back saying I needed to call her local pharmacy directly. Ok, fine. Did that. The pharmacist told me that my mother's doctor's office would need to call the pharmacy directly and authorize the refill. OK. FINE. I called the dr's office, left a message for them to please do that. Hoping I'll get a call confirming that it's all done. If not, I will need to call again.
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Looloo that's not a small whine that's the kind that has me pawing the ground and breathing fire through both nostrils. A "service" that quadruples your work. Ugh. Hope they all link arms in the end :)
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Cm, and I do this stuff while I'm at work, so that requires a good bit of--well, not sneaking, exactly--but I need to find a good time to either do what I need to do online, or step away from my desk to get some privacy -- and to keep doing that over and over...ARGH.
I don't know how people who have very demanding or inflexible jobs manage to cram this stuff in. At least I can figure it out most days.
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For mail order pharmacy, I keep trying to get my parents to use the *automatic refill* as they use the same meds month after month, instead of calling in the order every couple of months... Dad won't change over to automatic.... I even suggested that Dad try order on-line as that works pretty good, he tried, but since he doesn't have high-speed internet [more like tricycle pedal speed] that didn't work... [sigh]
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I used a different town to order my moms meds and they mailed then right to the house within two days. Never had a problem calling them and giving them the numbers off the bottles and asking for two months instead of one ect. Loved, loved Rodgers Rx in st. Joseph mo.
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And also, mom has adjusted to the nursing home just fine. I brought her home this Sunday to cut and perm her hair. She was totally worn slick and she willing went back at the end of the day. I do miss her but now she is really slipping away from me. She acts more like a little child than my mom; God love her.
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Looloo, if i could quadruple my like i would!!

I used to do A LOT of my research online at work before I came here... the owner (and friend) installed a program called IBOSS and shut off all the fun places.... most of us learned how to get around it ;) ahhhh.... those were the good ole days!
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I have been wrestling with anger today. We had to get with my mother's lawyer friend about getting me a POA so I could handle her property taxes. I thought we would just do a dPOA, since I really do need one. My brother has one, but he lives halfway across the country. What good is that? Anyway... the lawyer took some time, then came over to say he would have to get a special form from the property tax people. I asked him wouldn't the general POA work okay, and he said "Yes, but that would give you all kinds of power to do everything." Five years later and the man still doesn't trust me. Pissed me off to have my character questioned.

I told my mother it upset me that he didn't trust me. What really made me mad was that she agreed with him that I couldn't be trusted. Her proof was that I had run away one night when I was 14 years old.

I tried to comfort my anger by saying that I know myself, and what these two old farts think makes no difference. And I wondered why I am here with this dreadful woman who never had my back when I was a kid, and still doesn't now I'm a senior. Yes, I am ready to call it quits and tell her to go frak herself. I would, but I have more character than that. I'm hoping that sleeping on it will make me feel better. This is not dementia behavior. It is long-standing nasty behavior. Today just reopened a serious wound.
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jesse,
8 yrs ago my mom and i wrote her will with a local attorney . he wanted to grant poa to me at that time . mom strongly dissagreed , said she didnt want anyone having access to her money . in front of the attorney , i agreed with mom . because of her apprehension , upon her death the attorney told us kids that he was the default executor because i had a pill possession felony a few years ago . im pretty sure he lied about the law excluding me from executorship but he still permitted me to do ALL business pertaining to the estate . he just wanted to make sure it all went down equitably . he oversaw it . i think he did a good job on moms behalf . id suggest to everyone here to do like mom did -- get a springing poa . if your physically unable to go to the bank for business the poa is active . if you recover and are able to do your own business the poa is retracted . mom didnt distrust me . her money was her power and security and she didnt care to relinquish it to anyone . i will do the same when my will / directives are written .
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Jessie, it sure what state you're in, but here in CA, I just looked at a recent property tax statement that my mother had in a file, went online, and got the current info. I called the assessor's office to notify them of her mailing address change, and that was that. No POA necessary.
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looloo, we are filing for property tax exemption. My parents have qualified for exemption for years, but no one knew. I learned about it at the senior center here. Since Mom has serious dementia, she qualifies as disabled. To apply I have to bring in letters from two doctors, my POA form, and last year's tax return. It will save her a lot of money if she qualifies, so it is worth applying for. It hasn't been easy, though. The letters from the doctors didn't come after waiting about 3 weeks, so I called the clinic last week to check about them. The secretary called me today to let me know they would be in the mail tomorrow. If I had known the aggravation I was going to have to face...

Capn, I don't mind not having POA. It is just that sometimes I need it. Like when dealing with a financial or other company over the phone, the first question they ask is if I have POA. I have to get my mother to the phone to tell them it is okay to talk with me. Soon she is not going to be able to do that, the way things are going. After today and an earlier incident, I decided it is not my problem if Mom has a problem that requires someone with a POA. If anything happens, my brother will have to handle it.
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Dad comes down with a empty bread box the minuet I get home . With a sigh I am off to the store . Returning only to find the frozen loaf now in the box. Yes it's nice to share my whine with you. Thanks
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Regina, at least now you have another loaf to put in the freezer. I do that, too. Nice to have the extra loaf waiting.
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Jessie, You're much more stronger than I could ever be. That would have hurt my feelings so bad, I think I might would have up and left and went back to where I came from. I get that they want to feel in charge and like they are still a viable part of life, but your mother could still feel that way and give you DPOA. Things will be a lot more complicated if she were to suddenly have something happen to her that incapacitated her. One would think the attorney could write it up as such? But.... with such power also comes huge responsibilities. That was and still is the hardest part for me. I barely kept up with my own paperwork much less being thrust into taking over all of moms and dads stuff. Dad was still very sharp before he passed and really helped me get going on it all... told me of all his pensions and who to call, what to say and how much all of it should be...BUT STILL..him passing, mom clueless on it all just about did me in. Guess what I'm getting at is, either way it just sucks! They expect so much from you and don't trust you with it, or trust you with everything and you cave under stress. (((hugs))) to you :)
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It did hurt and embarrassed me, too, that I would be seen as a person not to be trusted. The lawyer says he has seen children wipe their parents out. That is sad, but to tell the truth, I've known far more children who haven't. What a poor outlook on life he has. He has a powerful influence over my mother.

I thought of how ironic it is that I keep having the back of the woman who has never had mine. I would be able to feel good about it if I didn't feel so angry so often.
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I guess I'll come here to whine today, because I can't whine to anyone else.

I've officially been living with/caring for Mom for 2 years now, with many years to go, I'm sure. I'm glad she's still here, of course, but days like today just make it rough. Today is my birthday. Now, I'm not saying that so that everyone will feel sorry for me or anything like that - it's just that this is the first time - ever - that neither my mom nor my kids remembered my birthday. I understand my mom not remembering - she can barely remember what day it is anymore,let alone special occasions - so I'm ok with her not remembering, though it made me kind of sad this morning, remembering how she always made a big deal out of our birthdays as kids. My brother & one sister remembered, and my aunt - that's it. One of my 3 kids isn't speaking to me now, apparently he's chosen to start a "new" life, and leave all his responsibilities and his family behind - so I knew I probably wouldn't hear from him, but I was kind of hoping, I guess. I spoke to both of the other 2 kids today, and neither one remembered - and I'm just not one to speak up and remind them - I don't think I should have to.

So...I guess I'm kind of having a pity party for myself tonight. I'll yank myself out of it soon. I guess it just hurts knowing that the ones I've always taken care of and provided for didn't remember my birthday, when I've always been there for them and made sure their birthday was a special day for them, like my mom did for me. I guess maybe I'm being a little childish to expect anything.
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SusanA43, my significant other runs into that with his grown daughter when it comes to birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas... he will get wishes from everyone else who took the time and energy to find the right card, the right gift, and give him a call.... but he will dwell and dwell on the fact he hadn't heard from his daughter yet... usually her card will arrive late in the mail but that is how she is.... some people are very organized when it comes to remembering certain days, and others who are not.

By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)
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Thanks, Freqflyer. I guess it just hurts that the kids didn't remember - and they *always* remember.
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i dont even know my sons' birthdates . they dont expect me to , thats just how detached from societys expectations we are ..
heres my concern today ; a page on this .... thing ...said people who take ... altzhimers get from ... eat zanax ... something something ..
what time izzit ? i want a SANDWICH ..
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Susan, I have given up on birthdays. My dad used to get me a little something from a catalog. Since he has been gone, no presents, no calls, and maybe one or two cards if I'm lucky. I figure at my age it doesn't matter. Maybe if no one remembers my birthdays, I won't get any older?? That would be cool. I would be 4ever young.
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Oh my goodness Lois, I thought you were describing my husband 6 months ago. A low dose antidepressant stopped the crying and wishing to die. He is much happier and functions in public better. I hated for anyone to ask him how he was doing. "Terrible, I'm dying, my wife is poisoning me, etc). Additionally he was always freezing and our house was sweltering but, even his body thermometer seems to work better. I was surprised at the improvement with a simple antidepressant.
My whine is, I would love to have a bathroom that doesn't smell like urine all the time and wonder what the hanging towel was used for. :)
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Thanks, JessiBelle - I'm sure in time, I'll just give up on them too....it's just that the first time it's forgotten really hurts. I'm feeling a little better tonight, and I'm sure I'll be back to normal by tomorrow.

Really sucks to get old sometimes - or at least "old-er"...and to top it off, the eye doc told me last week I have to have bifocals....ugh!
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Ok...feeling some better this morning. Got the birthday blues out of my system. I'm sure one of these days the kids will call and say, "When was your birthday again?" and realize they missed it. Oh well.

Not sure what's going on with Mom lately - she hasn't asked for milk in about 2 months, and every time I bought it, it went sour before the container was even opened, so I started buying smaller containers, and then I stopped buying it at all. (I don't drink it myself.) Last week, she asked for it, and I didn't have it - so she asked me to buy some small containers for her to have when she wants it. Ok...so I bought 2 of the lunchbox-size containers for her. Gave her one this morning with her breakfast, and she said, "I don't want milk!" - so back in the fridge it goes to spoil, I guess! Last night, when offered dinner (3 times), she kept saying "No, I don't want to eat now" - I stopped asking after 8pm. She ate an entire container of strawberries (argh) and then got up this morning wondering why she was so hungry. I guess it's just part of the aging issues she's facing, but some days it's like dealing with a grouchy toddler.

I am working towards getting her eating healthier, and so far, it's helping - she's lost a couple of pounds in the last week or so, despite the fact that she's completely inactive and just sits all day, walking a grand total of about 50 steps all day (that's footsteps, not stairs) between her chair, her bed and the bathroom, so *something* is working, and I'd like to believe it's the new way she's eating. Less sugar, less wheat, less starch, more protein and healthier veggies. She won't eat most vegetables, so I have to work around that with salads and such, but she's open to most of the changes. I'm learning I have to watch her portions, though - if I give her a carton of berries so she can have a few, she will mow through the entire carton in 5 minutes flat. So that's got to stop. But overall, she's eating better - no candy in the house, so she doesn't even ask for it. If she wants something sweet, I give her some fruit. She still likes her ice cream, but I have her eating low-sugar ice cream bars instead of full sugar ones - and if I don't watch her, she'll eat 3 in a row. Small steps, I guess.
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What about smoothies with lots of greens in it? I was reading one can lose weight and making them is good for both of you: more veggies in it than sugary fruit is best. Call it a milkshake without milk. Better than icecream. Low sugar could mean chemicals, additives, and things worse than sugar in it and that could interfere with her drugs. Keep it pure and simple and hope she acts nicer.

Berry smoothies with a little water and a few handfuls of raw spinach, frozen kale, fresh greens of any sort are delicious. If she has a constipation problem a few tablespoons of ground flaxseed will help make going to the bathroom easier.

Best wishes. It's very hard to stay positive and loving when your "loved one" feels more like your enemy. I know.
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Thanks, Juddha - I've been flirting with the idea of smoothies lately - I love them and have been trying to find some good low-sugar ones to see if she'll accept them. This month money is tight due to house repairs and renovations, so I'm hoping I can try them towards the end of this month or at the start of next.
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Susan, milk freezes quite well, did you know? Put small helpings in plastic freezer bags, tie them securely (you don't say!) and take them out as and when. Homogenised works best, as far as I remember (it's a while since I needed to bother).
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Susan, frozen bananas make this delicious faux ice cream when you whirl them in the blender. I've even added a little cocoa powder.
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I am exhausted today, in pain all over my body. Scrubbed the bathrooms and kitchen floors on my hands and knees the other day and am paying for it. Plus my normal pain in my neck and back. wha wha wha. So mom has to go to get an mri for her shoulder that is in chronic pain and an x-ray in her knee. They know it is really bad arthritis but still want to do another one. The pain management doctor added the fentenyl patch at 25 mg but it is not helping her at all with her oxy codone. It is such a hassle to get mom up this early and showered and out of the house. It takes her at least 3 hours because she has to rest after the shower because it takes so much out of her and then she is sweating so bad that she has to cool off. Maybe they will find something so that she can get some more pain relief. Just not looking forward to getting her out of the house. Very depressed. Thanks
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Fligirl after they have an x-ray of mom's knee are they going to do anything with the results ?surgery ?injections. if not why bother? you don't need an x-ray to increase pain meds - just do it. If Mom is thin the fentynal patch won't work too well because it is absorbed into fat and a bony old chest won't cut it. Some people also find the patch needs to be changed every two days instead of three. trial and error like everything else.
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Susan if Mom likes chocolate milk the chocolate almond milk is very good, full of protein and low fat. just put a small glass on her breakfast tray and it might disappear. it costs about twice a s much as regular milk but still cheaper if it does not go bad. I have frozen regular milk - any kind- for years with no problem. you can pour it into smaller containers or freeze the whole gallon.
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