I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I haven't had any real whines lately, and this one is minor too, but here goes: I can't believe I've spent most of my day, trying to get ONE relatively simple thing done for my mother. Her health insurance has a member website where you can go online, order your prescriptions, and have them mailed or ready at the local pharmacy. We're at that point now, where I need to handle this. So I noticed that her Aricept meds weren't listed. The doc that prescribed them is not part of her insurance co, she was referred to him, so it's a manual process to get the meds he prescribes put into the system. The website has an 'email the pharmacy' option, so I emailed and explained. Got an email back saying I needed to call her local pharmacy directly. Ok, fine. Did that. The pharmacist told me that my mother's doctor's office would need to call the pharmacy directly and authorize the refill. OK. FINE. I called the dr's office, left a message for them to please do that. Hoping I'll get a call confirming that it's all done. If not, I will need to call again.
I don't know how people who have very demanding or inflexible jobs manage to cram this stuff in. At least I can figure it out most days.
I used to do A LOT of my research online at work before I came here... the owner (and friend) installed a program called IBOSS and shut off all the fun places.... most of us learned how to get around it ;) ahhhh.... those were the good ole days!
I told my mother it upset me that he didn't trust me. What really made me mad was that she agreed with him that I couldn't be trusted. Her proof was that I had run away one night when I was 14 years old.
I tried to comfort my anger by saying that I know myself, and what these two old farts think makes no difference. And I wondered why I am here with this dreadful woman who never had my back when I was a kid, and still doesn't now I'm a senior. Yes, I am ready to call it quits and tell her to go frak herself. I would, but I have more character than that. I'm hoping that sleeping on it will make me feel better. This is not dementia behavior. It is long-standing nasty behavior. Today just reopened a serious wound.
8 yrs ago my mom and i wrote her will with a local attorney . he wanted to grant poa to me at that time . mom strongly dissagreed , said she didnt want anyone having access to her money . in front of the attorney , i agreed with mom . because of her apprehension , upon her death the attorney told us kids that he was the default executor because i had a pill possession felony a few years ago . im pretty sure he lied about the law excluding me from executorship but he still permitted me to do ALL business pertaining to the estate . he just wanted to make sure it all went down equitably . he oversaw it . i think he did a good job on moms behalf . id suggest to everyone here to do like mom did -- get a springing poa . if your physically unable to go to the bank for business the poa is active . if you recover and are able to do your own business the poa is retracted . mom didnt distrust me . her money was her power and security and she didnt care to relinquish it to anyone . i will do the same when my will / directives are written .
Capn, I don't mind not having POA. It is just that sometimes I need it. Like when dealing with a financial or other company over the phone, the first question they ask is if I have POA. I have to get my mother to the phone to tell them it is okay to talk with me. Soon she is not going to be able to do that, the way things are going. After today and an earlier incident, I decided it is not my problem if Mom has a problem that requires someone with a POA. If anything happens, my brother will have to handle it.
I thought of how ironic it is that I keep having the back of the woman who has never had mine. I would be able to feel good about it if I didn't feel so angry so often.
I've officially been living with/caring for Mom for 2 years now, with many years to go, I'm sure. I'm glad she's still here, of course, but days like today just make it rough. Today is my birthday. Now, I'm not saying that so that everyone will feel sorry for me or anything like that - it's just that this is the first time - ever - that neither my mom nor my kids remembered my birthday. I understand my mom not remembering - she can barely remember what day it is anymore,let alone special occasions - so I'm ok with her not remembering, though it made me kind of sad this morning, remembering how she always made a big deal out of our birthdays as kids. My brother & one sister remembered, and my aunt - that's it. One of my 3 kids isn't speaking to me now, apparently he's chosen to start a "new" life, and leave all his responsibilities and his family behind - so I knew I probably wouldn't hear from him, but I was kind of hoping, I guess. I spoke to both of the other 2 kids today, and neither one remembered - and I'm just not one to speak up and remind them - I don't think I should have to.
So...I guess I'm kind of having a pity party for myself tonight. I'll yank myself out of it soon. I guess it just hurts knowing that the ones I've always taken care of and provided for didn't remember my birthday, when I've always been there for them and made sure their birthday was a special day for them, like my mom did for me. I guess maybe I'm being a little childish to expect anything.
By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)
heres my concern today ; a page on this .... thing ...said people who take ... altzhimers get from ... eat zanax ... something something ..
what time izzit ? i want a SANDWICH ..
My whine is, I would love to have a bathroom that doesn't smell like urine all the time and wonder what the hanging towel was used for. :)
Really sucks to get old sometimes - or at least "old-er"...and to top it off, the eye doc told me last week I have to have bifocals....ugh!
Not sure what's going on with Mom lately - she hasn't asked for milk in about 2 months, and every time I bought it, it went sour before the container was even opened, so I started buying smaller containers, and then I stopped buying it at all. (I don't drink it myself.) Last week, she asked for it, and I didn't have it - so she asked me to buy some small containers for her to have when she wants it. Ok...so I bought 2 of the lunchbox-size containers for her. Gave her one this morning with her breakfast, and she said, "I don't want milk!" - so back in the fridge it goes to spoil, I guess! Last night, when offered dinner (3 times), she kept saying "No, I don't want to eat now" - I stopped asking after 8pm. She ate an entire container of strawberries (argh) and then got up this morning wondering why she was so hungry. I guess it's just part of the aging issues she's facing, but some days it's like dealing with a grouchy toddler.
I am working towards getting her eating healthier, and so far, it's helping - she's lost a couple of pounds in the last week or so, despite the fact that she's completely inactive and just sits all day, walking a grand total of about 50 steps all day (that's footsteps, not stairs) between her chair, her bed and the bathroom, so *something* is working, and I'd like to believe it's the new way she's eating. Less sugar, less wheat, less starch, more protein and healthier veggies. She won't eat most vegetables, so I have to work around that with salads and such, but she's open to most of the changes. I'm learning I have to watch her portions, though - if I give her a carton of berries so she can have a few, she will mow through the entire carton in 5 minutes flat. So that's got to stop. But overall, she's eating better - no candy in the house, so she doesn't even ask for it. If she wants something sweet, I give her some fruit. She still likes her ice cream, but I have her eating low-sugar ice cream bars instead of full sugar ones - and if I don't watch her, she'll eat 3 in a row. Small steps, I guess.
Berry smoothies with a little water and a few handfuls of raw spinach, frozen kale, fresh greens of any sort are delicious. If she has a constipation problem a few tablespoons of ground flaxseed will help make going to the bathroom easier.
Best wishes. It's very hard to stay positive and loving when your "loved one" feels more like your enemy. I know.