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Stubborn woman with cognitive decline ?
Or bored and manipulative and wants daughter to beg her to leave . Or both ?

Like Burnt says, complaining can be a sport for some .
(4)
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Oh my gosh! My friend just called me to tell me that she had a gas leak in her home recently.

Her mom has been living in her home since her stepdad died. She said that they needed to evacuate the house until the gas leak was fixed. Her mother tells her, “I am not going anywhere. I intend to sleep in my own bed.”

My friend told her mom, “Well, unless you want to die, you are going to check into the hotel with us.”

My friend says that her mom is extremely stubborn. She is stubborn but I told her that she should speak to her mother’s doctor about cognitive decline.

It’s crazy that her mom wouldn’t want to evacuate a home that has a gas leak.

I felt sad for my friend having to fight with her mom in order to keep her safe. I am hoping that she will think about placing her mom in an assisted living facility.
(3)
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Oh Barb.
So sorry he had to go to the ER but hopefully he (and you) will emerge victorious from all complications and that the universe will choose today please.
(5)
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Oh Barb - Prayers for whatever is wrong to be righted soon and for DH to feel better. Keep us updated!
(7)
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Oh, Barb. I got THAT wrong.
OK. So sorry.
Watching for updates from you.
(3)
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Alva, this is my CURRENT DH, not ex!
(4)
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Barb,
Thoughts with you and you ex. Will look for your updates. So sorry for these complications, but this is the right place to be.
(2)
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Barb,

Oh no! So sorry. Sending hugs to you. Please keep us posted.
(3)
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Sigh. In the ER. Please think happy thoughts. More later.
(10)
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Barb, thinking of you and your DH this morning! Hope the pain is under control...
(4)
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Barb: My goodness! So sorry that your DH is in that amount of pain. I hope that he can get some relief.
(4)
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Barb,

Hope your DH gets comfortable and not wobbly .
(5)
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Barb - hope DH gets through this to a better place soon. Prayers
(4)
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Barb, Hope your DH feels better soon.
(4)
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Barb,

Hoping for a better day tomorrow for your husband and rest for you!

Hugs!
(4)
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Sooo, I'm sorry your in such a a bad place.

I am in the thick of caregiving my DH; his surgery, in which they robotically removed a stricture from his ureter and reattached it to his bladder was successful, but he is in loads of pain, and more worrisome, his blood pressure dropped very low tonight, leaving him clammy, faint feeling and wobbly.

I suspect it's the anti-spasmodic they are giving him to keep his bladder calm while it heals. Oh, and the catheters...

A better day tomorrow, please!
(6)
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Barb, by not asking your ex hubby you are expecting him to be a mind reader.
We tell people who we are by what we do for them, and whether or not we expect to be recognized and to have them do things for US when we need it.
If we do things for them, and don't ask for their help when we need it, then why would they help us. They think we are fully capable and they are happy to have us help them but they don't think we need them. We are too "together" to need them.

I had to be trained out of caregiver to the entire family by some shrinking by the professionals. I think you may have read about my girlfriend with her spoiled partner she did everything for. When she needed the partner she disappeared. As her shrink told her "YOU broke the contract. It is YOUR fault. The contract was that you did EVERYTHING, and then you got sick. It's your fault. You broke the contract."

I wish humans were a better animal. We aren't. And we need to tell them as you told your hubby "Look, I was there for you and you weren't for me; don't expect me to continue to be there".
(2)
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My advice (to no particular person, and for no particular topic):
Never give up. Don’t lose hope.

I’m having a &&@@“;;/::!!!”()::;(!!!!
time.
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Pam - Ewww!
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Golden it must be the day for the kitties,, my ferals gifted me with a regurgitated rodent right outside the door to the garage from the house. Nope, not dealing with that at 6 am!!
(5)
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Barb - I agree. I am getting better at saying "No". Also I am getting better at asking for help. Comes a time when you have fewer options which makes it easier - but not necessarily much more comfortable.

My whine today is that this morning early my kitty graced me with a fur ball on the rug at the end of the bed. Cleaning it up is not my fave first chore in the am, On the other hand, she is a great little companion.

Also. had conversations that went awkward with both 2 of my kids in the same evening recently/ Arrgh! Gotta back off and start connecting more with people here at the condo. May be able to make a friend or two.
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Barb
Glad your DH is home and healing.
(4)
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Barb, I am so glad your DH's surgery went well. Now just the recovery. (Hopefully he is not the unreasonable bear mine was after a day procedure once).
(5)
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Barb: Glad that your DH's surgery went well.
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On the drive home from the hospital tonight, my DH said "thank you for keeping me alive"--it's me who catches the missed allergies, the mistakes in the medical history and the overall hyper vigilance about blood thinners and everything else that makes a difference, I think. I told him, "It's good to have a hobby.". If he could have laughed without pain, he would have.

Two weeks ago, I asked, after a kind of round about "well, I could do this or that" for him to drive our car to where I was going to be by and then walk home. This was going to pick my kid up from a biopsy.

He said he really didn't want to do that. I was devastated. I was disappointed. I was angry.

This last week, when I drove him to someplace he needed to get to with some computer equipment without any fuss or muss, I said afterwards that the fact that I do stuff like that is why I was so disappointed and angry that you said no last week.

It's very hard for me to ask for stuff. And hard for me to say no to stuff that is asked of me by someone I love.

I think most of us here struggle with this sort of thing with our loved ones
(12)
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Barb,

Happy to hear this wonderful news!
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That's great, Barb. Happy and hopeful for you both. :)
(5)
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Barb - so glad dh's surgery went well and they diudn't have to do a graft. Prayers that this is the end of the problems.
(3)
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Geaton, can you just get her a pre-loaded gift card?
(2)
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Dear all, DH had his rather miraculous surgery today. They were able to remove the stricture in his ureter and reattach it to his bladder-they didn't need to use his appendix to create a graft.

He's mad as a wet hen that he has a catheter-I knew from perusing the Internet that it was a very likely, but it's only for a week.

Thanks for all of your prayers and good thoughts. I hope this ends his issues with gravel and stones!
(6)
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