I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
They have sis on Seroquel . I saw her on Wednesday and Thursday . I saw significant improvement yesterday compared to Wednesday . And overall much better than the craziness that was described about Monday and Tuesday which I did not see first hand because I worked, but those two days she was calling me leaving crazy messages . It’s over an hour drive each way the hospital. Not going today . I’ll go tomorrow .
I’m glad she is more herself and not trying to escape. I hope she did not screw up her back surgery fighting them .
She said they have her walk alittle each day but no other PT yet .
Thanks for asking .
My caregiver days are over but I remember feeling exactly like you do now. Do you have any outside help?
I cared for my mom for many years. She had Parkinson’s disease and later developed dementia.
I’m so sorry that you are going through this.
Sending many hugs your way.
Thanks.
I’m merely speculating but she lives with my nephew who said he was seeing some cognitive symptoms and gait issues that got worse during a bout of COVID last Fall , and seemed to not get better . Then she ended up in the hospital last spring with pneumonia and metabolic encephalopathy and almost died .
She has a myriad of other conditions prior to this including , Sjrogren’s , which caused COPD ( never smoked ) . They just ruled out Parkinsons disease prior to this back surgery . She has been having gait problems and falls which lead to bad compression fractures in her spine leading to this surgery she had to prevent paralysis .
It is difficult to know how much of her issues is oxygen deprivation that she had during pneumonia , the seizure from the encephalopathy last spring and how much or if it could be dementia. But she has not gotten back to baseline since then . They have not done cognitive testing . Haven’t gone that route yet . Nephew says she showtimes well with the doctors and we are assuming she would refuse cognitive testing , and certainly during delirium is not the time to do cognitive tests .
Sadly she has no money just SS check . She had two really bad exes . My poor nephew takes it one day at a time and is assuming one day he will have to ER dump her to get her placed. My nephew is single , has to work and sis is home alone . Nephew has been having a neighbor check on her during the day , sis thinks the neighbor only comes to walk the dog .
thanks for the tips .
I do believe she may have undiagnosed dementia possibly Lewy Body as well.
I’m not driving the boat . Her son is .
when you go see your sister, make sure the hospital is following delirium protocol. A surprising number don’t.
Lights need to be on and bright near sunrise, on throughout the day, then off to near darkness at night. If they can medically, request they not wake her during the night for vitals or blood draws and turn off the beeps in the room for the monitoring gear. Ideally curtains open at dawn as well and drawn at dusk.
We also requested coffee with the lid off first thing in the morning even if she was not awake because the smell sense is powerful.
use sound as well: noisy during the day, TV or radio on, then in the evening start winding it down and TV off and gentle music until quiet by about 10.
if you can get her there, sit in the full sun with her for at least 20 to 30 min before noon every day. exercise if she’s in rehab is also good.
Reorient her constantly. Make sure her board has the correct day and date. Add the weather.
My mom had hospital or post-surgical delirium every time. She once tried to escape a hospital because she thought she was late to an MRI. Nurse said they’d never had someone trying to escape to go TO the place they were!
Hospital delirium often can be managed by environmental and social cues and does not always need or respond well to medication. Glad she has folks to be with her!
This just started so, I will wait and see how I feel later.
We tend to take things for granted until we are in pain. Could be a lot worse. I shouldn’t be complaining about it.
I am going to finish listening to the podcast that I fell asleep on last night when I get in the tub.
I have a very comfy tub with whirlpool jets so I think it will relax me even if it doesn’t alleviate any pain.
Oh geez. The use of the thumb is so important to be able to use your hand in general . Uggh .
Oh well…I am going to try soaking it in a hot bath to see if that relaxes me.
The Advil liquid gels aren’t working. They work for my headaches. Was hoping that they would help ease the discomfort.
I had a really tough time opening up the Advil bottle. I couldn’t pull open a ziplock bag either to get an English muffin out for breakfast. Will eat cereal.
It certainly does sound like she needs Ativan to soothe her anxiety. Ativan definitely helped my mom’s anxiety.
My nephew told me what the nurse said.
Luckily she can’t get very far with her walker and moving really slow like she does . The nurse also said she was carrying her overnight bag . It’s a pretty big cloth duffel bag . That must have been a sight , the walker , the bag and in a hospital gown . She even hooked her foley bag onto the walker , but she had ripped out her IV . She told the nurse she was going home . She was so resistive , they called security and my nephew. Then they brought in a one on one nurses aide for her . This is really bad . I hope they can give her Ativan or something .
Oh wow, that’s disturbing that she tried to escape.
True, you don’t know what her reaction will be.
I understand that you want to see your sister though. I would feel the same way as you.
I don’t know if it’s going to calm her down to go there so she doesn’t think I’m ignoring her , or if it’s going to agitate her because she’s angry because she thinks I put her “ in some place “, and she wants to go home.
Yesterday she tried to escape. The nurse called my nephew . He left work to go there to calm her down .
Yes! Coffee is mandatory! LOL 😆
My husband said the same thing as you, that perhaps I slept funny. Who knows?
Don’t you wish that men could have babies? LOL 😆 I can’t imagine what my husband would have been like pregnant!
Oh gosh, I am so sorry that your sister is struggling. That’s so hard on both of you.
maybe you slept funny with your hand under you ?
Pregnant. Lol😂😂😂😂
You are determined to muddle through for that coffee !! 😁😁😁Many would understand that . I’m not a coffee or tea drinker, but I have to have my one can of Coke a day early afternoon for the caffeine boost .
I have no idea why it would be hurting. Could this be arthritis?
I don’t remember doing any awkward movements or lifting anything heavy.
The only time I’ve ever had trouble before was when I was pregnant and the baby was resting on a nerve which caused carpal tunnel in my left wrist. It was so bad that I had to take cortisone shots for awhile.
Lord knows that I am not pregnant at 68 years old! LOL 😂 So, I have a mystery injury. I went to bed around 10:00 and was fine. Woke up in this pain. I might go see if a hot bath will help.
I had to drink my coffee with my left hand this morning because I couldn’t hold my mug in my right hand.
Not long after my mother died I gave up my ( part time ) nursing job . Mom killed it for me . I nanny babies because I enjoy it . It’s the opposite of watching decline . It keeps me going .
This is the only sibling I am close to . She almost died this past spring , she had delirium then also. She has a myriad of medical problems , 2 of which are rare .
My poor nephew has been running her to so many doctor appts . I’m worried about him . She needs assisted living but all she has is a SS check . She was never good with money and didn’t make a lot and had 2 terrible exes . Her only child (son ) took her in 10 years ago . He’s been divorced a long time , no children . He also has the rare autoimmune disease that she has. I know he’s been spending some of his own money on her too . They live too far for me to really help . I offered to come stay a while last spring after she came home from rehab to take her to some appts , but my nephew is adamant that I did enough for my parents and that it’s his responsibility .
That’s sad. Hard for her and hard for you because we feel helpless in these situations.