I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. It’s heartbreaking to see our parents decline. I’m glad that your dad is in a nice facility.
So sorry about the loss of your brother.
Sending hugs and prayers your way today.
It is hard to let go when you have been the primary for so long. I have seen that more than once with families. Your dad is a lucky man with two children who are able and willing to care for him. Your own life span has most likely been extended and also that of your wife by this switch in dads care plan. It is so very stressful.
I’m sure you know that hospital PTs often recommend rehab for patients when they see how much it is needed.
It appears that things have calmed between you and sis and you are working together. That is also good for dad. He will feel safer if he realizes it is not up to him, that his kids have got this. Of course, not every one is able to trust to that degree and it may take awhile. He didn’t get to be himself without a few ideas of his own.
Thanks for the update.
I am going to miss her being so close. We have been friends for many, many years. I won’t be able to see her as often now. I guess she will be doing home health when she gets there.
I am going to visit her later today. So, I will know more then. It’s so interesting how strokes affect people.
Some people are able to recover very well if it isn’t a serious stroke. Others are never the same after a serious stroke. My dad never completely recovered from his stroke and my best friend died in the hospital after hers.
So glad to hear from you. You sound great and what a happy whine.
But I know what you mean. She has to do 15 hours, so that may feel like you do too! Glad she is a delight and you have a pleasant person to spend that time with.
Big hugs to you.
Do NOT bring him back and try to get him admitted to the place you are thinking of. He needs facility to facility transfer (hospital to Rehab, rehab to LTC). If you discharge him and take him back into your home you will end up on a VERY long waiting list.
Let your sister have a turn.
She is going to start the process of talking to him about permanent placement due to both our houses are not safe. Her 2 story and my 3 story. neither of us can care for him 24/7. It will cost me huge money I don't have to add on to my house and will take time.
I have a plan through our fraternity to care for him. It is closer to the family for him is good,
Will see what the next 2 weeks transpire.
A lot for me to process, It will be very good for my marriage. Better for me for my business. Very hard to let go. My sibling is all for it but I am the one who did the caring and all the work for 10 years. I know it is best but still very hard. It may happen or may not then I am back at square one where he may be back here at home with me if he says no. I am in purgatory in my head right now.
He is slipping a gear or two memory wise but I feel that is due to the meds. He actually asked my sibling for depends to wear all day because he cannot make it to the bathroom fast enough. He can't walk without a walker. This is all telling me it has to be but dam this is hard. Has been a rough few weeks, Dad getting sick and my brother's passing, and having to deal with my sibling.
Thanks for listening, will keep things updated.
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and the sibling drama.
Your sister sounds as if she is going to have a stroke if she doesn’t settle down.
Your poor dad. You have cared for him so long. I hope sister calms down and you can communicate about his care. Dad is where he needs to be. Good that you insisted the ambulance be called. Let him go to rehab and you and sis both get a bit of reprieve.
Come back and let us know how he is doing and how you are managing.
She’s not doing so well after her stroke. She has it in her head that she is going home soon. She’s not.
I wish that she was going home soon. I’m doing all I can to emotionally support her but she seems confused about her situation. Either that or she is in denial about her condition.
Not knowing what is going on is the worst.
My mom used to say that sometimes she felt like a guinea pig. It’s process of elimination at times.
Thanks.
Actually it is worse. Although amazed at speed for all the tests done and how seriously drs took his case.
But, no idea whatsoever, at least if there was something treatable there would be solution.
All they are sure about, this is not because of Parkinson’s.
Same. The doctors were amazed with my mother too.
My father had heart issues, diabetes, bladder cancer, prostate issues. gallbladder issues, gout, allergies, high blood pressure and other things.
Mom had no major issues except for her Parkinson’s disease and dementia towards the latter years of her life.
I remember when I was a teenager going to see her in the hospital for a partial hysterectomy. That was the only time that she had been in a hospital with the exception of giving birth. I heard her tell her nurse that she felt like she was on vacation because she wasn’t cooking or cleaning. LOL 😆
Not just lab, he had every test done, for every organ. MRI, Cat scans, all of it.
He really is medical enigma. Drs are amazed that he is as healthy as 30 year old. No infection, heart problems, stroke.
Yet, movement got bad or almost none in one day!
We do get a fair amount of rainfall in New Orleans. It does cool things down slightly.
Evamar.
My mom’s labs were always good. Yet, like your husband, the Parkinson’s disease caused mobility issues.
My husband remains in hospital for 10 days.
All test done, all showing despite Parkinson’s he is as healthy as somebody half his age. So good news!
Yet, he is almost immobile and getting worse!
And Drs. are sure it is not due to Parkinson’s disease.
I am oscillating between despair and hope.
3 days later she received a call our other sibling dies, not expected but he had been sick for some time. All the arrangements had been set up by him already so nothing to do but show up.
My sibling had to take Dad to the funeral 4 hours away, It was in the middle of our vacation we were paying for so I did a there-and-back same-day drive (17 hours).
I arrived early and was there when the hearse showed up, soon after the family started to arrive, Once Dad arrived with my sibling the yelling at me commenced, I was just breathing, not sure what I did, something about Dadd falling at 1 am and couldn't get dressed, etc,.
He looked bad, I mentioned he may be dehydrated, then more yelling at me. I asked about pallbearers for our sibling and was again yelled at not to do anything. So the funeral home persons did all the work, even the guy in the dirty overalls and trucker hat and greasy hair got to carry my brother to his resting place, with no relatives. It was a Jewish funeral, (He had converted) we are all Protestant. No big deal, when the service was over Dad could not even walk, so a few people were trying to help him, my EMS instinct took over and I got him in his walker with a seat and had us carry him to the car like a chair.
They all left for the lunch I headed home. I got home very late and in bed and my sibling calls screaming at me he fell again and I have to come to get him. I said I would do the 14-hour drive in the AM but it sounds from what you just told me he needs to go to the hospital or a walk-in. After hearing the nos. I finally said, either you call the ambulance or I do but he is going now. If I come to get him and drive him home he won't survive the ride, he will be dead before I get him back here. She hung up on me. Oh, did I fail to mention she is a nurse?
She did call the ambulance, he is in the hospital, I thought a UTI but apparently low sodium, and she is blaming the meds he's on. Funny 10 years and all of a sudden it's the meds?
Now she is looking at rehab for him, More testing going on. MRI today, she said dad is slipping, He's been in the hospital for a week, of course, he is not in the right mind. She wants long-term care for him. There is no plan. No money. I have somewhat of a plan. Anyway, I still get yelled at for any reason by her when I call. Now I am taking the hands-off approach. I have been caring for Dad for 9 years in my home, she gets 3 weeks a year. Not only burnout but sibling issues now. Not sure why she is so ambivalent to me, always has been.
I left Dad with her for a week, and he broke, so I guess it's my fault.
That actually sounds fabulous! A summer home up north would be great 😊.
Maybe you need a summer home up north?
Maybe it’s a partial whine. LOL 😆 I would be a little upset about expensive perfume spilling. I like the idea of enjoying the scent though 😊.
The old posts from March (such as "is it wrong to hope someone dies?") are moved up because they resonate with others and they feel a need to comment, but I know you already understand that.
Oh, and if your news feed is filling up with threads you are no longer interested in you can choose to Unfollow those.
This a.m. I came early into Forum--about 6 a.m. Pacific time. It was LOADED with the most interesting new questions! I really had fun answering.
Now, only hours later, it is as though there has been some card shuffle machine takeover and all the OLD QUESTIONS, some from March (!) are back. And the great new questions are buried. Marched out into the ether somewhere.
I love Forum. Am on daily when I am home. And love new questions. But I seldom go back in pages 2, 3, 4, searching for new questions that might be buried amidst the old. Just me. Not that much time.
End of whine.
Await the violins (any strings will do).