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Vent ,
That’s what I call a happy accident .
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Random whine about my day today:

I knocked over my perfume (glass bottle). Cleaned up the broken glass. Now my whole house smells of my perfume. I love the smell :).

Maybe that was actually an anti-whine. I don’t know anymore if I’m whining or happy.
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CJC, I get you. (((Hug)))
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Hi Ventting,
Thank you for the share. I too, would like a vent and appreciate you. Your a good daughter and It's tough, caregiving is tough.

I live in Florida, and my mother is in the state I grew up in, New Hampshire. I've lived in Florida for over 20 years. My 2 brothers and 2 sisters (all older) still live in NH.

My mother is not a mom! I don’t like her narcissistic personality disorder! I don't like her, but I do love her. If I don't respond in the way she likes, she uses her dismissal acts and ignores them. But love bombs when I go no contact. She love bombs by leaving voice mail and mailing me things like I miss you cards with Christian literature inside for me to read. I guess she thinks I am not reading the Bible enough? Truly, because I called her out on her ways, she feels I am the bad guy. Trust me, for an 84 year old woman who is self-sufficient, she knows what she does. I can not stand it. But, like I've said, I refuse to go cold, no contact. I refuse to be cruel like her. Thanks for letting me vent.
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No fully working arm? That is really really tough 😞

Our sense of humour can indeed be a superpower in times of need.
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MD,

Let me explain why she is having trouble with both arms. She broke one arm awhile back, then had her stroke. So, she is in bad shape!

In spite of her misery, we find ourselves laughing about silly things. I’m glad that she has a good sense of humor. It helps to be able to laugh when we are feeling down.
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Venting ,
Thanks . (((Hugs)))) back to you !
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Way, (((Hug))).
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Hi venting ,

You described exactly how I feel ( felt ) taking care of my parents on my own for too long .
Caregiving does take away pieces of yourself . DH is feeling that as well , now that we are dealing with FIL futile efforts. It’s been tough with FIL being so stubborn and unrealistic and refusing care in AL. It’s difficult and sad to watch . And now on top of all that , he may actually go to rehab and torture himself with exercise that will kill him sooner, instead of aiming for restful comfort on hospice .
And yes I often tell posters to “ take their life back” .
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Hi Way, I didn’t notice at all :).
I had read “Take care of yourself” and not “Take of yourself”.

:) But I think “Take of yourself” would be cool. I wonder what that would be?

Maybe take little (or HUGE) pieces of yourself you lost along the way while caregiving, and put them back together.
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Ventingisback,
You are welcome ,
I meant , Take care of yourself !

I type too fast .
My mind also goes too fast !
I am a mild stutterer as well because of it , at least that’s what the doctor told my mother when I started stuttering when I started school . I loved school and was so excited to learn , I was also smart and the doctor said my brain went too fast and my mouth could not keep up . Stutterers very often have higher than average IQs. (Took a test in school and I did find out when I was about 12 that I had a high IQ). Anyway the doctor told me to slow down. For a while I had to consciously make the effort to slow down my brain when speaking and the stutter disappeared for the most part fairly quickly . Settling down in school , once it wasn’t new to me anymore helped as well. Then I didn’t have to think about slowing down anymore .
As I got older and acquired an anxiety disorder from caregiving for my parents the stutter has returned in my speech , and I miss ( skip) words more often again, and add extra words as well in speech and when I write. It is noticeable when I am very anxious .
It also does not help that I am awful with grammar etc . I have a very science and math brain .
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venting,

I can’t think of one single job that is tougher than caregiving. We don’t find any true relief until it’s over.
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venting: You're very welcome.
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Thanks Way!
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Venting I hear you,
I was in the boat you are in with my parents ( now deceased)). When I look back I don't know how did it.
Take of yourself!
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Thanks for all your support, everyone! And Need, and Llamalover!
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FIL wants to choose rehab over hospice. I truly believe in his condition , this is torture and will kill him faster than going in hospice.
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venting: I, too, feel your pain. Remember that your struggles WILL end. Hugs sent.💛
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venting,

I feel your pain! Been there, done that.

Sending hugs your way!
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My whine today:

My life is a mess.
My mom is doing fabulously thanks to me (in-home care). I’m sorting out the contracts for the caregivers: their lives are super sorted, thanks to good contracts I’m making for them.

Where does that leave me, after helping everyone else? A mess.

I know I’ll get my life sorted. But how ironic that my life’s a mess, while everyone around me is now doing fabulously thanks to me. There’s a huge contrast between them (for example the caregivers) and I.
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MD,

No, she does not have use of her arms. She’s miserable. She can’t walk on her own either.

She is communicating as best as she can with everyone and doing speech therapy.

She has never been a very patient person, so this is difficult for her.

I appreciate everyone’s prayers.
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Alva and everyone else,

Enjoy your chips!
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Thanks, Evamar

I’m going to visit my friend later today.

Sending hugs to you and your DH.
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Barb, don't worry about those chips, at least in terms of a catheter clogging. Those urine crystals are likely uric acid, calcium or phosphates and due to an old cath that needs changing; they deteriorate due to the urine and the inside tends to grab bacteria, crystals, et al. A matter of correct cath care.
Enjoy those chips because I am headed out to Trader Joe today for my own bag of their Old Fashioned Potato Chips.
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Eva, praying that hubby is on the mend. I wish Dr's would listen more about family observations. Whenever a pulse ox is done on my mom, it's low. She's got reynauds syndrome so her fingers are cold.
Lol to Barb and the potato chips. I'm getting fat so going cold turkey with the wafer cookies in my yogurt
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Need: You're welcome.
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LOL Barb. Every time I read dietary advice to cut back on chips or cookies or whatever I get cravings and and intense desire to do the opposite!
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Eva, glad for the MRI! Hope you get actionable results.
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After reading about the lady with the catheter who binges on potato chips, I ended up scarfing down half a bag yesterday.
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Thanks, Llama

She can certainly use the prayers.
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