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lazor, have a wonderful, well deserved outing! Naus
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No one here is a whiner and don't ever feel guilty. I use to be married to a man that had a head injury. I went through hell and back with him. Head injuries can bring out the good or the bad. His was all bad. I spent many a night praying I would wake up the next day. I spent 2 years in that hell and escaped with my life. I found or should I say my new husband found me. When all went down with his father dying and his mother needing care. I didn't hesitate to step up. My husband said Susan are you sure. I said yes because you will support and help me with this and I know I can handle anything after walking away from that nightmare. So all and all his mother is a piece of cake. I felt guilty when I left my head injury husband but when people started saying Susan how did you stay as long as you did. I knew I had done the right thing. The day after I left I went cold turkey on all nerve, sleeping and meds I was on just to cope. I haven't had to take any of that stuff since. I knew I was drowning in that situation and for my sanity and safety it was time to let go. It made me a stronger person so that I know I can handle whatever mom in law can dish out. I know Alzetimers is bad but I rather deal with that or dementia any day rather than a head injury !!!!!!!!!!!
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Wow Susan! You have been through it... And you have a good spirit in spite of all you've experienced. Praise God you got better instead of bitter. What a testimony! Now you are a blessing to many. Thank you for your thoughtful words. I hear you. I went from an abusive and neglectful Mother, to a drug-abusing, verbal and physically abusive husband as well. Walked out 6 years later after an ultimatum. Now I have a wonderful hero of a husband, and a precious son. God brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. You reminded me, that even though things aren't perfect in my relationship with my complaining Mother, things were, and could be much worse. I probably need to focus more on counting my blessings. Thanks for your compassion and a jolt back to reality. Bless you Susan and Naus, Neon, msTish, and others. Hope all is well with you, and that you have a good weekend.
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Thanks for the pat on the back. But each and everyone needs that pat also and it makes me angry that we as caregivers are not recognized as we should be. So every one please look in the mirror and tell yourself you are a good and loving person and no matter what you have to decide to do to make things better or easier.
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I have not been on much and am trying to recover from my back proceedure-I still have much pain but have been trying to get back into things with friends the husband is still in rehab and both the social worker and our Pod. thinkm he needs to be placed which I do not want to do but might change aides when a male aide can not give a male pt. an entire bath or even help him in and out of a walk-in tub/shower it is bad the only thing is he will drive him to appointments which are often. The husband told me he does not want to see me and only yelled at me for the few min. I was there so I will stay away until he tells me he can be an adult- he knows he can not act up with our son I really think he does have a personality disorder besides being bi-polor. I mostly feel sorry for him he is lonly I am sure and he could have a decent life- I will not let him drag me down with him. My son taught me how to use my new phone or I am trying to learn how I never thought an old lady of 68 would have to have instructions taught to them to make phone call and I can almost text people.
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Praying for you Austin, for your strength and healing and everything there. You have been through so much. Sorry for the husband's troubles. Praying for him and your relief in that area as well. Hopefully you will heal quickly and be able to enjoy the Spring a little. Bless you.
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Austin, you are so strong. Keep standing up for yourself and don't take abuse. You've got a great heart.

Texting??? Good for you. I blocked mine, but I suppose I'll have to start that, too.

You're in our thoughts and prayers,
Carol
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Carol thank for your words of support it was great the things you said because it comes from a person who has lived it- I still have quilt feelings about all of this but I will not be sucked back into that gloom I do deserve respect life has never been easy for me from taking care of my sister when I was less than 7 to a brother and sister when I was less than 9.
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Yeah texting that is great Good for you. Gosh Austin you sound like my life. lol
I took care of my two brothers while stepmother beat and abused me. What a life? Aren't we suppose to be the crazy ones or the mad ones in jail hmmmm?
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I am doing pretty well myself the back pain finally the past few days was a lot less and go for check up they found another problem in my back on last xray but doc said it is of no big concern-easy for him to say-the husband wants to come home from rehab after two weeks and is making abuse phone calls which when I see his number come up let the answering machine get so today he borrowed someones elses phone and gave me an earful-so I called the NH and told them to tell the staff that was not going to be allowed-it may br the time to have him placed-he will have a hissy-fit but he has been so meam to me for so long I have had enough the kids 40 and 43 are aware of this and agree if he comes home I will get more aide time and when he srarts in with his mouth-I will get in the care and go some- where for a time I am not a shopper but the senior center is up the road from home and we have a fantasic bike path.
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Well everyone my weekend was wonderful! I intend to do it again. But right this second I need to vent bad. Please is there anyone else out there that has the trouble I do getting meds from Wal Mart. I will have to make a third trip to pick up meds again. I am going to call Wal Mart and complain. It is so ridiculous they either mess up address or name or birthdate or insurance. I just don't get it. I am not the only one here. They do this to a lot of people here. I do my ordering online hoping it will be ready . Nope no such luck they still loose something. I really at a loss here. I was so angry that I ran over a mans heels with MIL wal mart wheelchair. God I was so sorry. But give me a break here. Just fill my prescriptions without mistakes one time please. Oh sorry they did do it one time without a mistake gosh guess it was to much to ask for it to be done on a regular basis huh. Is there another pharmacy that offers the discounts like 3 and 9 for meds. Oh and this last meds by the time I get there again they will restock and Ill have to wait again . Call Wal Mart right now!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thanks for venting. A problem shared is a problem cut in half. I don't use Walmart's pharmacy, so I don't realate to the situation with them. I do relate with this newer generation of workers that don't share the same work eithics that my parents both taught me. It's scarey to think of what it'll be like in say. . . 10 yrs?
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I do deal with Wal Mart Pharmacy and either you have to wait over a hour or if you don't get it the next day they put it back in stock and you have to wait another hour I don' know how to get around it either. I agree with Bill the work ethics of people today and some of them are not so young I might add. I had trouble with Rite Aid three times finally I contacted them via the web and told them I was not dealing with their inadeqacies anymore, If that was the best they could find for manager at this store they might as well close it because with the customer service she gives its going to close anyway, in this economy people at least want to be looked at and called by name and given correct information and not a lot of run around. Apparently she got her ass chewed out, she called to apologize and told me it would be a no charge haha and she would call me back as soon as my item came in, well guess what she didn't and she still wanted to charge me even tho it said no charge and you can only imagine what I told her to do with it if I had to pay for it. I work in customer service for a hospital I would be tarred and feathered. I worked as a waitress for 25 years and another 6 in the florist business, yes there are times you want to show them to the door but in all my years of customer service I have never seen such poor workmanship.
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I don't use WalMart, so I can't say much except that this sounds unacceptable. I use CVS, and they keep filled prescriptions for two weeks, and I call them in ahead and they are ready when I get there. I'm sure it depends on how busy a place is, but what you are going through is not right.

Carol
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OMG Well since I post Ive called Wal Mart Head office they said they would look into it and call me in three days. Lets see what that does? I knew I wasn't the only one but ours in a small town so maybe Ill get some action. Okay I dreaming. All pharmacy are slow I understand that. I would be too if I had to decifer Dr. handwriting but when address telephone number dont change from refill to refill I have a problem with that. I agree poor poor workmanship and its getting worse here. Im going to call around for pharmacy. How about Walgreen any luck with them anyone?
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does CVS do the 3 and 9 deal like Wal Mart?
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I just got a call back they are going to fix the problem plus send me a gift card!!!!!
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Customer service? Haaaaaaaaaa! That's become a thing of the past.
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I know but dont knock my high down okay lol
Let me dream for the moment lol
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Certainly. I didn't mean to do that. I guess you type quicker than me. Sorry.
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Thats certainly okay here Mr Bill T
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I use WalMart and never have a problem. They even filled prescriptions for me after Hurricane Rita because my pharmacy down home was destroyed. No complaints here.
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Thank you everyone for all the replys and for the support everyone here is giving to each other. I don't want to end up like my Mom! Driving everyone nuts and the constant fear she is going to hurt herself. Nights are unbelieveable. She moans for half the day/night and when asked if something hurts, she says no and also says she does not know why she moans. She is up 3/4 of the night from 10 pm to 7 am. We got her a hospital bed with rails and it does not help. Just when I think she is asleep I hear something and go running to her room. Last night at 3:30 am I checked on her and to my utter surprise she was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room with all the blankets around her and the hospital bed was at a sharp angle up at the head and a low as possible at the bottom. It looked like a shoot...anyone would have flew out of it, but the controller was nowhere she could have reached it and hidden under the bed so she would not change the settings. I got her a chairs called a lift chair a few day ago. The chair was elevated all the way back. I really should have taken a picture, but of course I had to take care of the situation and not fool with a camera. I believe she swirmed to the bottom of the bed and fell on the floor, then found the bed controller and just held the buttons, then found the chair controller and did the same thing. I put her back to bed and waited for her to fall asleep about an hour later. At 6:30 I found her in the living room, no walker and on the floor. Even if I am firm with her it does not help. I will say, "Mom, just rest and go to sleep and DO NOT GET UP! Not 2 seconds later she is pulling at the rails to get up. I told her she will break a hip or something if she continues to fall down and end up at the hospital and the nursing home. She must know what I am talking about because today she wanted to have a conservation about where she should be living because she knows she is misbehaving! I am so tired! I need to win the lottery!
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Dear anndees, you need to rest. Forgive me for saying this, but I think it is time for Mom to go to a nursing home. Big Hugs and prayers for you,
Nauseated
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Stick with that Wal MArt Lindam. You are lucky. Since I posted I had a call from main office and the pharmacy itself. Needless to say the head of pharmacy apologized was through stressed teeth. I have to go in and ask for my meds from the pharmacist . I laughed and said so you can see who turned you in. I said I dont care yall need to fix this department. It is really sad to have to come to the store 3 times for same meds. And that address phone number and name changes ever time on same prescription. Again through gritted teeth she said mamam We will try to fix the problem. I said well its going to be fixed or Im going somewhere else. So we will see what happens
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AnnDees, I agree with Nauseated - you need help. You can't live like this or your health will go. Besides, if your mom keeps this up, she will get hurt and you'll blame yourself. It won't be your fault, but you'll still feel guilt. She doesn't understand what she is doing, as you know. Bed rails used to make my dad nuts. He was more apts to to up and over than fall out "easier" from the plain bed. (A mattress on the floor next to the bed can help this).

But the bottom line is - how long can you do this? You do need help. It's likely time to tour nursinig homes in your area.
Carol
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I have to agreee with Naus and MindingOurElders, you don't want her to hurt herself and she doesn't realize what she is doing. You can be as much a part of her life at a nursing home with the staff taking care of your Mom. Stop in unannounced at all hour of the day that way they won't know when to expect you. There are so good facilities out there, unfortunately, they all get a bad name for just a handful. The same way with daycare. I am juggling lots of things today and seem to be handling them all okay so no need to vent. Thats not to say I won't be back later screaming my head off.

Take care everyone
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I'm going to vent. This is going to go down in history as the silliest, most immature vent ever, but at least I don't have to show my face here (so to speak). Today I am 48 big woop! My daughter 24 is pregnant with my first grandson, she has a daughter 4 1/2. Before my daughter became pregnant this second time, she decides to buy a puppy, just has to have it, for the wopping price of $800.00, a mut mind you. She is part Maltese and Shitzu. Her breed is called a Malshie. Before I saw this pup, I saw a picture on my daughter's my space. I told my daughter BEFORE she bought this pup that she would be sorry, since she had to work full time. I also said what about if you have another baby, you won't have time for this high maintenance mut. She still HAD to have it! Well, she gets a FULL-TIME job. I said what are you going to do with this puppy all day long while you are at work. I was watching grandaughter at the time, full time. She said I will leave her in the kennel. I said NO you won't, bring her to me everyday with my grandaughter, and I will watch both. So I did this for several months. I did not think I would absolutely fall madly in love with this cute little mut, who is so human-like, and looks at me with the cutest eyes and expression you ever did see. OMG! After less than a year, she complains. I said give the dog to me. She says no, she is mine. I said "see I told you so!" Dog is now
1 1/2yrs, and needs to be spayed. I'm not spending the money she says. Now she wants to sell dog. She tells me today, on my birthday that she has found someone that wants her, her name fits her personality "Sweetie". My husband, even though letting me babysit this dog everyday, and sometimes on weekends, will not let me have this dog. I have been bawling my eyes out since this morning and can't stop. My 12yr old daughter has also fallen in love with this dog. My husband refuses to let a dog live in the house. She does not shed, she is well behaved, follows me around everywhere, lays down wherever I am working and waits for me to get done. My Dad likes this dog too, one of the few things that actually makes him smile these days. I'm glad a family wants this dog, that will pay more attention to her, but at the same time I am devastated that I will never see her again, even though I am having a baby grandson within a few weeks to a month. Now that I have totally exposed myself, I'm going to feel silly. This should be a post for "Laughter in the midst". Nauseated
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Also, my Dad would perk up when the pup would jump on the couch and lay against him, otherwise he ususally sits there and stares into space or the tv. He loved to just pet the dog. I thought it was therapeutic for him as well. But since he will be going into assisted living sometime in the near future, it won't matter then. Oh well, (big sigh).
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Naus I posted to your board NEON
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