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My heart goes out to you Naus. I am a true animal nut here. Four dogs here two are inside. And yes Im a firm believer on animal therapy. It works and yes it was and is good for both of you. I am so sorry that you are losing Sweetie. I would say okay doggie day care is 9 dollars a day Ill either put a lien against you or you can give me the dog. And we call it even . Sounds harsh but hey I bet you fed it out of pocket probably bought a toy or two. Or you could play the dont ya love me card!!!

Gosh I sound coniving here!!!
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I would just keep it but thats me
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Dear Naus, Happy birthday anyway! You are loved. Your posts brighten my day all the time. I'm sorry to hear about your dog. Too bad we can't join together and start a fund to "save the dog" for you. But that wouldn't help with your hubby's objections. Mine won't have a dog either, but that's OK with me, because it would be more work, and that we don't need. I pet other people's dogs every chance I get, and that helps. Sorry, though. I don't think you should feel silly. Lots of people get attached to dogs. In fact, studies show they can be quite therapeutic and wonderful companions. Hope you find something to make this a good birthday in spite of the thoughts of this loss. Hope your family will do something to make this a special day for you. Thanks for sharing. We feel for you.
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Thanks Neon! Thanks Lazor! I wish that would work. I would be so happy, yes I bought a toy here, an outfit there. Daughter always brought food and toys and accessories etc., wish the coniving would work here. LOL Any other suggestions, I'm desperate! I told hubby since you want a boat someday, forget it, since I can't have my sweetie pups.
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Thanks Anne! Naus
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Well unfortunately Naus that probably won't work if he wants a boat he'll have a boat but it goes both ways you know. I can never understand why someone else always has to be in control over what another person wants. Its just a pet for petes sake and they are very loving and help with the elderly they are so smart and they understand so many things. Oh well, the best I can do it

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Dear Nauseated
Happy Birthday to you

Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday take two tums and call me in the morning
and maybe you won't be nauseated tomorrow

I know it don't rhyme but that's my quirky sense of humor Neon
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OMG neon that is so cute and loving . Naus Keep the DOG!!!! Thats my present to you !!!!!!
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Well people I went to Wal mart for the third time on these meds. The young lady behind the checkout said Your Mrs. Adams I said yes She said just a moment. She brought me my meds plus a 50.00 wal mart card. I told her I hated to do that but I had had enough. She said Honey you had to do what you had to do and she understood. My stuff had always been messed up and they needed to get it straight and her face turned red like she had betrayed a Wal Mart secret. I said well Im not one to do something like this but if they straightened it out so be it. So lets hope it did some good.
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Congratulations on your $50.00! How's that for customer satisfaction? It was great of them to take care of you. Sorry for your trouble. Nice to know there are still blessings to be had in this world! Happy shopping!
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I take care of my mother, it's been 3 1/2 years now. I feel so down most of the time now. She makes these noises all the time, I will ask her what's wrong , why she makes those noises, she says she can't help it. I fell like she is dying when she does this. She has a lung disease, can't see good or hear well. She is on oxygen 4 all the time, breathing treatments and food has to be prepared soft, she can't remember any thing some days. I'm about to loose it, I love my mother. I feel guilty for feeling this way, 24/7. I have a sister that comes over for me to go to the grocery on Mondays, she gets here at 12:30, she can't come earlier, because of her health, she says. I need help so bad before I go nuts.......
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So sorry to hear about your struggle Judy. Know that you can find relief here, and that we wish to support you in any possible way. It's tough caring for someone 24/7, as you know. Praying for you. I know others will, too, and will offer comfort and suggestions, as well. Hang in there. We're hearing you.
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lazor, I know it's not your birthday, but $50.00? Happy Birthday anyway! What a treat! See; good things happen to good people.

Anne, thank you so much!

Neon, I loved the song, thank you!

Thank you all for all of your compassion, and kind words. You all lift me up, when I'm down. God Bless all of you here on this site that read and post. I hope you don't think this corny, but I have to say "I Love You Guys!" Don't get nauseated by this LOL. Good Night!
Nauseated
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It's not corny. It's our job to lookout for one another in here. Besides if we don't do it who will. Judy my heart and prays are with you. About the noise she can't help it really. My x boss lady's husband got hurt in a motorcycle accident and they stayed with a woman who took care of her mom and she walked around and crowed like a rooster. That was the only sound she made. She just did it out of the clear blue. They don't know why she does it. She was diagnosis with Alz. also. Hang in there.
Susan
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good morning EVERYONE, I just wanted you to know its going to be a good day. I just said a prayer for us all. I asked God, to keep us healthy and strong, give us the tools and resources we need to do this job he so capably put in our hands. I trust in Himand he will. I am doing fine this is about me a little bit. #1 NAUS I have a million more songs like that LOL whatever pops in my head, #2 today is the anniversary of my sons death and I am doing very well, I think this is the first time in 27 years I am not depressed. Thats a first beleive me I have dealt with depression since I was 11 years old, even tried to commit suicide a few times as a young teen, see if you don't get the love at home from those who you are supposed to trust in you feel worthless. Something I've worked on for years, now I have a doctor that helps me with this because last year I got sick of trying to fix it myself because I couldn't. I have decided to do extra special things for people today, things that make me happy to do like give flowers to someone for their birthday, have lunch with my little girl I mentor. I must say last night I was a bit sad, seems the little husky I adopted last week was pregnant. They said when she was dropped off at the shelter she had five pups with her which were all adopted out, I adopted her because they were going to put her to sleep we use such nice terms for killing. well seems while she was at the shelter she got pregnant again. Poor little thing. So last night I put a comforter on the sofa and put her up there and she wanted me to sit with her if I moved she took her paw very gently, and touched me to make sure I stayed with her. Such a sweet girl. My son and his family came over last night we madewaffles and eggs fried taters and bacon, cholesterol on a plate we call it It was good instead of mom enjoying the fun and company she gets up and goes to her room. How very sad not to want to stay and enjoy your family so I guess it is either dementia or just plain rudeness, whichever, I am not going to worry about it.

I see on another thread edrex is having a tough time lets all pray for him, we who have been in similar situations know it will all work out in the end. Well better get to work. Please have a good day, hug yourself and tell yourself what a wonderful job you are doing if you don't well I just did. NEON
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way to go lazor now if they ccan keep it straight LOL

Judy I know its hard our prayers and concerns are with you. It is true she really can't help it, Mine makes lots of sounds to and when or if you bring it to her attention she tells you she never said anything its my imagination, Well I have some imagination she doesn't have to add to it LOL
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Dear friends, I am praying we all have a wonderful day! For my kids, today is a snow day in the rocky mountains. We are expecting 3ft of snow, and blizzard. We can handle it, been through historical blizzard in 2003 with 6ft of snow. Bring it on, we are far behind in snow fall this season. We have food, dvd's, and firewood if needed. Will check back later. Have a good day! Big Hugs to you all! Nauseated
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OH BOY! A snow day we had one down here in GA on March 1 some snow day had to come to work and work on server all day. I had been praying for snow since the week before Christmas now I have to start all over again. LOL I will enjoy yours naus if only in my dreams. Neon
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One of my favorites was a neighbor of yours somewhere in that territory,
John Denver so I will listen to Rocky Mountain High while I'm at it and all his other wonderful hits.
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Make some snow cream Nauseated. Neon youre doing great cause your well wishes worked. Took MIL to a new Urio. DR. Man I was impressed. He said everything that I had been trying to get the other one to do.. Its amazing how much you as a caregiver knows but yet some dr just refuse to listen. This dr listen YEAHHHH.
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Dear lazor, praise God for the new Dr. listening. Hope is helps your MIL and you. Would love to know your strategy, and what changed. Thanks
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I think I impressed him when I had all her meds typed out. Dosage and whats for. I had all my dates of what happened with her urinary tract infection what was use to treat it and I answer all his questions. I listen to what he had to say and asked my questions also. First I was impressed by the fact they numbed her before trying to cath her for a speciamen. They were so considerate of her feelings. He talked to her and to me. I did the same with the last URO but it was like I was a dumn bunny and he refuse to talk with me or hear me. I was like on another planet. I called this new URio and told them the problems I was having and even the nurses and the whole staff was so warm and caring. He is going to work with us on her infections. I can just get her to pee in a cup and he will check it He even which is what I have asked for for 6 months will put her on low dose antibotics. He is starting with fixing the problem not just putting a bandage on it YES there is a God.
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Praise the Lord for your attentiveness, loving care and concern for your MIL! What a blessing you are to the whole family, to be sure! I, too, am impressed by your thoroughness and attention to details with your MIL's health care and record keeping. What a great idea, and way to positively affect the system. Thank God you have found a good Physician. Praying MIL will recover, which will be a help to you, as well. Blessings!
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Yes Anne notes about everything. I even write notes on what the family does and says to me or do for her. You never know when it may come in handy later on. Ive recorded their visits and how she was when she went and how she is when she returns. Ive recorded conversations that they have had with me and all the crap that they have tried to pull over on us. Documentation!!!! It works folks. I learned this from an old job I use to have. It helps with siblings trying to get over on you especially if you have to go to court. It really is in your favor with the judge seeing you document everything and they go up there sounding like Bubba. You dont have to go in detail just little notes to jog your memory and sometimes just writing it down helps relieve stress or at least it helps me.
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Excellent suggestion!!! I am tape recording everything with a little pocket size digital voice recorder. Everything that's said, both in person, and over the phone is recorded as well. Legally, all you have to do is tell them you are recording. Talk about excellent record-keeping! I record what the doctors tell us as well. My Mom can never again say, "I never said that..." Unfortunately, we have to protect our loved ones, and ourselves as well. Every little bit helps. Thanks for your input, lazor. Hugs for all your hero efforts!
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Wow, my heart goes out to you all. I thought I had it bad! I live with my mom, who just turned 90, and who has alzhiemers/dementia. It is a HARD job.

I also have a sister and 2 brothers who refuse to help in ANY way. I have no idea why they dont call or visit. My mother was a great mom.

Before she got real sick she asked me if she was a bad mother! She was a really good mom. Then, she made me turn the picture I put on her table of my sister and brothers face down. Breaks my heart because it broke hers.

I guess they all have full time jobs, kids of their own etc. But so did I! I had a career of paralegal and I have 3 grand babies and a step grand son! I gave up my career for my mother. At least I get to see the grand babies when ever I want.

Anyway, it is a hard job; watching my mom turn into a strange person that is nothing like my mother was. She used to be a vibrant, independant woman. Now she just lays in bed all day and I cant remember the last time she laughed or even smiled. She is bossy and mean and I have to talk and argue to get her to do simple things like wash up, take a bath or brush her teeth (she still has her teeth!). And it's no fun when she has bathroom accidents.

She is helpless. I guess thats why I care for her now. She cared for me when I was a helpless baby, now it's my turn. A little support from my brothers and sister would be nice. My sister does call me or email me once in a while, and she came over on mom's birthday. But my brothers: forget it. It's like my mom is already dead. sad.

Hang in there all you care takers. There is a very special place in heaven for you all!
luv,sue
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Dear Sue, welcome! You're a sweetie. Neat to hear about another who compassionately honors her mother, out of respect for her position, and in love. And seeing her in such need. You are a sweetheart. I think there's people who sacrifice, and will one day be glad they did, and live with no regrets. The heroes. Then there are the siblings, who make excuses for themselves, about why they can't help. Will they have regrets? They just don't feel the responsibility to care for the ones who cared for them. I don't get it. Selfishness! Sad. God bless you for caring for your Mom. That special place in heaven will be a lovely someday.
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I feel like I'm on a merry-go-round with Mom and don't know how to get off. We were just getting ready to move her close by, only to receive news of a diagnosis of breast cancer, with needed surgery asap, to be followed by 6 weeks of radiation 5 days a week. She doesn't drive, and her closest family member (me) lives 200 miles away. Public transportation has been a problem, and she often has to wait 1 hour plus, for them to pick her up. She lost her license due to blacking out while driving, and medication use. Narcotics and driving don't go well together. She drinks alcohol at times, too. I opted for mercy, letting her stay in her own home of 38 years while recovering from surgery, rather than subject her to the added stress of relocating. And I am NOT moving there. No way!!!
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Another problem with Mom is that she is seeing several other doctors (new ones every other week) for various and sundry other conditions. She has been told she has spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease, a little scoliosis, bulging discs, and numbness and tingling in her legs and arms. She's had surgery for her back already, (widening something...) knee surgery, leg veins "stripped," and a hysterectomy. She has seen a foot doctor several times in the last year. She saw a Cancer specialist last year because she had lost 65% of her body weight for some reason. No cancer was suspected at that time. We suspect is was due to her 200 mcg Fetanyl use, which probably almost killed her (according to several consulting Physicians). I switched her from Physician to Geriatric Specialists trying to get help for her. She leans towards depression, but the meds don't help. I think it's due to a bitter spirit, although I don't know why she is that way, and don't think it's a medical condition, but a spiritual one. She's also been diagnosed as having cysts on her kidneys, and has a follow-up appointment on Monday to discuss it... More doctors, and more appointments!

One Physician suggested she go to a Geriatric Psychiatric Ward at one point, last year. I drove down 200 miles to do just that, only to find her in good spirits (at that moment), cooking dinner for herself, the house clean, and the laundry caught up. She was surprised to see us. She was doing so well, I didn't have the heart to take her to the place suggested. On what grounds would she be admitted. I'd be afraid they'd admit me if I tried that day, she was doing so well. But other days...boy! Slam dunk admission. One day I told her about the ridiculous amount of $$$ spent on medical copays and deductibles only to have her say, "So what do you want me to do, kill myself?" Where did that come from? I'm learning that she is allowed to complain, but me, never. And she can argue, but I dare not. Just go along with the Mama Drama. Some people have talked to me about her declining cognitive abilities. And she's even gone to a Neurologist for memory and cognitive testing (but no diagnosis). Perhaps she is early stage... Either that, or I need a shrink soon, for she really is driving me crazy!!! I give her slack, because she has the ability to enjoy familiar social activities, but I handle the important things, like finances. She scares me, but I don't know what to do. So far, I can get no back up from the Medical profession, or direction, etc. I don't know what to do, but I know something is wrong with Mom. I am tired of status quo, and not sure what direction to go. Any suggestions???
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Anne, I think the doctors don't recognize what we do, because we know our family and they don't. They see that they are in good spirits, and don't see the things that we see everyday, and don't know how to diagnose maybe. Just speculation on my part, but doctors overlooked my dad's problem because they didn't see him or talk to him everyday like I did.
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I've heard that people can be good actors, too. Especially during early dementia symptoms. I have tons of documentation to share with Physicians, but they don't seem to want to collaborate on diagnosis. That's frustrating. I was told to be patient, because there will come a day when everyone will see the problem, and no one will be able to deny it. Living 200 miles away makes things altogether more difficult. Thinking about purchasing a Nanny Cam to keep better tabs on the situation in her home. But how do I keep her out of so many doctor's offices? I think they must laugh, and say, "Easy money!" or "Here, take a pill!" (Better living through chemistry. Tell you the truth, if we could find something to improve her mood...
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