Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

Hey, at least your Mom has SOME interests. I can't get my dad interested in anything anymore. For awhile I had him assembling those little railroad sets-houses,barns, etc, and he was enjoying that. Thing is, he's slipped more since then, can't figure them out anymore, so now he doesn't even want to try. If your mom likes coloring and bubbles, she might like some toys as well-who knows? I tell my daughter (in jest-although there's some truth to it) "when I flip my lid, just plant me in a room with some cartoons on a loop and a mountain of loaded pez dispensers and I'll be in Heaven". I hope I'm as low maintenance as that and that I don't keep re-living everything negative. With my dad it's his next door neighbors from years ago. The Hatfields and McCoys had NOTHING on these two families. Truth being, the neighbors were miserable trash and made everyone in the neighborhood miserable at one time or another, but with my parents, it was especially crazy. Everytime they would do something, my father would obsess and obsess about it. My mother would usually be the one who actually handled it when it was all said and done. I remember her going after one of them with a shovel once. I think my dad has some sort of guilt that he didn't stand up for himself and deal with it properly. I remember the last straw being when they built a berm to actually try and flood our property. I remember looking at those pictures taken of the issue in question and the date that was stamped on them thinking "I'm going to hear about this for a VERY long time". Well, the date was 1973 and here it is 36 years later....One day, just out of the blue when we were driving home from the store he AGAIN brought it up (I've heard about it literally 1000's of times) I exploded and said "I never want to hear any of those stories again! I'm done! They are all dead! You've outlived every one of them--lived better than them--get OVER IT!!!!" He still brings it up when things get bad, and I still tell him to stop...I hope to God I never get like that--ranting about my ex-husband or some friend who screwed me over. The way I look at it, they are out of my lives and it's done. It's almost like some OCD thing with him where he HAS to talk about it. He has even blamed them for the problems he is experiencing now. When he gets like that, I try everything to get him to switch gears, nothing much works anymore. The only thing he seems to like are Lawrence Welk DVDs. I guess there's nothing he has to follow mentally, just old music. I've tried getting him to listen to music on CD's, but that seems to aggravate him after awhile. Also old postcards work pretty well--I buy old ones off of ebay from where he grew up and he looks at those over and over--so far so good.

Hi All! Hope you are all well today. I'm still trying to catch up on the reading. All while trying to get people to phone me back when I ask with regards to dad's financial continuing nightmare, which has become mine. What is with people not following up on what they promise to do these days? When I tell someone I'm going to call them back, I do, when I tell someone I will be somewhere at a certain time, I am, etc. There is a lack of being conscientious these days. It must be nice to have the extra time in a day, to be able to waste other's. Am I venting here, or what? I am just so sick of it! People have cost me months of my time, and all they can say is I'm sorry. They are all so sorry, but still do nothing about it. I could go into detail, but not enough space here LOL. Hope everyone elses day is going much better. I just need to count my blessings, because it could be much worse. Love and Hugs to you all!

Now lets see if I can bring a smile to that beautiful face of yours NAUS, Yes, I encounter stupidity on a daily basis, not only here at work but in the world as well, seems common sense has flown out the window and people are just so full of themselves. My son is like me only I say it he wears it, he has tee shirts that say things like Silence is Golden Duct tape is silver, (hey baby I go for the silver. thats my answer)

I won't ignore you if you stop acting so stupid his tee shirt, my reply If you act stupid I will ignore you!

Would you like service with that? thats my saying when someone asks me a stupid question and my favorite

I have a stupid question ME: okay hopefully I'll have a stupid answer.

People do not care about customer service, I recently ordered something from Blair well not too recently over 2 months ago, got a email stating they rec'd my order, well it still ain't here so I contacted them and told them to keep the damn thing haven't had it in two months think I don't need it at all, they replied we have no record of you sending us a email for an order, I contacted them I didn't send it by email dipshit I mailed it to you you emailed me a confirmation keep it I decided you might have nice items but who needs the stupidity, I realize you have to downsize so you can make a Qadzillion dollars this year but to sacrafice customer service will do you in so if anyone else is having trouble with your company not being able to keep up with your orders because there is no one to fill them, someone has to do double duty and is too tired. I hope they cancel their accounts than you won't have so much to keep track of and can stay home and play video games, oh man was I livid. and I will pay this off and never order from them again my new motto if Wal_mart don't have it I don't need it. I hope this made you feel better so people don't follow thru on anything no matter what the subject and I take great pride in calling people back to make sure their problem has been resolved see I am the help desk at a five facility soon to be six facility healthcare system 3 nursing homes, 1 assisted living 2 hospitals and one to be built shortly. I take care of all computer phone issues and anything inbetween if the switchboard operator doesn't know who to send the call to she sends it to me so i take great pride in my work although somedays trying to drill information into some of the hard heads is very frustrating than I go home to mom . Ah isn't that the life??

Neon -I sure wish you worked where I live we could use you here. I called the nursing home yesterday to ask for the phone number of the ombudsmen and the lady said we do not have one I said yes you do then asked to speak to the supervisor and she said I don't know and I told her it should be posted somewhere finally she found it for me.

How about my Dad's attorney (supposedly smart person) getting us all together (Dad, sister, bro-in-law, me, my husband, our attorney) to propose an "agreement" where Dad would promise to be a good boy and we could let him go back home (2 hrs away). The agreement never got done, because on D-day his attorney was at an attorney conference, so Dad checked himself out of the facility and had his girlfriend drive him back home. So, it seems Dad's attorney won, because now we have to petition another county for guardianship and Dad's attorney doesn't have to travel the 2 hours - we do. And pay our attorney for travel time, etc. So, this is dealing with smart people!
Bigsister

Lawyers, don't ya just love em!!!

If your Dad is like my husband he would promise the moon and then do as he wanted to do anyway, but the lawyer should have kept the date since so many people were involved unless he planned not to be available for your Dad's wants.

Hi,

I'm new on here and not sure how these forums work. It is different than others I'm used to where there are multiple threads and you can see the various posts in a list and decide what to read. I felt like I would need to read through 1000+ posts on this topic before commenting. Is everyone keeping up with all of it?

I DO need to vent, but wanting to make sure I understand how these forums work first.

Dancetoday

Hi dancetoday! Vent away, that's what we are here for. It is great, and much better than yelling and taking it out on our loved ones. Hope you find as much comfort here as we all have. This thread is all about venting, you don't need to read them all, would take forever. We just give each other support and get advice when we need it. Nice to meet you.

Hi dancetoday, nice meeting you, this is a great place to let it go!!! I have found such comfort here the people are so amazing and caring it's like family maybe even better!!!Michele

Hi Nauseated,

Are you nauseated from issues of caring for family members? What is going on with me right now is that my mother is still living on her own but needs a lot from me. I drive her to the store and the bank, sometimes help her deal with bills, etc... But she has other help that she pays, too. I'm a single parent and my mom is not rich but she is doing ok from my father's retirement and their savings. Every once in a while I have some financial crises and she has given me money. I hate to ask her but there are times when I have. So a few days ago I took her to the bank and we had some paperwork to get done. While the banker was filling out a form, my mom went to get some cash. She asked me if I needed any and I said that I didn't, I was doing ok, thanks. Then a couple of days later I realized that I didn't have the money to pay for the summer programs for my son and I needed to reserve a spot and wouldn't get paid for over a week. We were going out to dinner with my mom and so I mentioned that I had that come up. She said ok, come in after dinner and she would give me some money for it. So when I went in the house after dinner (left my son in the car, thank goodness), she asked how much I needed. I started thinking it over out loud. Suddenly she got this look and tone of voice she gets when she is being really critical of me. She started telling me how I have to do SOMETHING about my finances. (I am working two jobs and raising two kids, there just isn't time to do anything more, I am trying really hard.) We have been through this before. I would love to do something about it but it just isn't happening. She got really awful and critical of me and told me she would give me this money but then nothing for my birthday. I said "fine, ok." Then she just went on and on about how I'd spent this money she'd given me at the beginning of the year. She did NOT give me any money at the beginning of the year. She had given some to my sister and told me about it and how she had just given her some this year. I said that she didn't give me any money. She just got madder and madder. So I left without taking the money even though she was yelling at me "Here, take it, take the money." It was awful.

Everyone who knows my mother thinks she is just the sweetest kindest person you could ever meet. They don't see this side of her, the way she treats me sometimes. She tried to call once yesterday (this happened Sunday) and I didn't answer. She isn't capable of talking about this. She will just want to pretend it didn't happen. Which isn't ok for me because it has happened before and I know it probably will again. But I know she isn't going to change, either.

Ok, guess that sort of summarizes it. Thanks for "listening."

Dancetoday

Dear dancetoday, you poor sweet thing! I too have experienced similar things from my dad. Does your mom have dementia? Their personalities change like that, and the ones that help them the most get persecuted the most. If she has dementia, it will only get worse. I hope she doesn't. She should be paying you for helping her if she can, since you are giving up so much to help her when you can. I wish I had all the answers for you, but I don't even have the answers to my own nightmare.

I have an appointment for dad tomorrow at an assisted living facility, 10 min from my house. We are going to take a tour, and make a decision. I did say a few months ago that he wanted out of here, and has been saying it for 7mos now. So now is his chance. He will be losing his house of 40yrs., it's just a broken down old house that he owes more on than it is worth right now. Hanging on to it, in this current economy will be more damaging than helpful, I see no other way out, but a short sale. Have a good night all, you will be in my prayers as well.

Nauseated, no she has been tested and they say she does not have dementia. She does get depressed and her thinking is not very clear when she is depressed. I think she just takes her frustrations out on me because I am the one that is here. She won't talk about issues if you want her to at a time when we are all calm. She just changes the subject. So then she blows up like this. One friend said they thought she was probably anxious about my daughter moving out and not aware of it. So she is taking it out on me. Either that or my sister said something to her about not giving me money. My sister has plenty of money but she doesn't like mom to give it to me anyhow. One of those sibling issues to make it all more complicated.

It does sound like you at least have the condition of the house in your favor in getting him to move to assisted living. My mom's house is in pretty good shape although she hasn't used very good judgment with repairs and improvements she's paid for recently.

Dancetoday

I had to actually trick my dad into moving in with me. See, he didn't know he was moving in with me 1,200 miles away from his home out of state. I talked him into taking a vacation for the holidays. I had to do it this way. No others sibs to help out, and he couldn't live alone anymore, self neglect, financial abuse and fraud from others, long story. He has been with me and my family for about 7months now, and I am going crazy. My dad's house was paid for, up until two years ago, when he was defrauded out of it by taking a loan out on it for someone, another nightmarish story that would take hours to explain. But I believe dad had dementia long before, but hid it, and I did not know anything about the symptoms until it was all too late.

Hi Dancetoday,
Money is power - we all see this. There seems to be a power play going on with your mother. She is ready and willing to give you money for your family, but then rubs it in or otherwise abuses you. Flip-flopping. I've seen this often. Depression could figure in. Also, dementia starts much earlier than real "symptoms" appear. Researchers aren't really sure when it starts, but actually stage one of Alzheimer's shows little or no symptoms under test conditions.

So, keep your eyes open for changes. Hopefully, your mother will have her depression treated. But, unless this is a huge personality change, it does sound like she's using money as a control mechanism.

Bless you for how hard you are trying. Two jobs, kids and a mother who needs help. A lot of know what it's like to work as hard as possible, take care of a bunch of people, and still not come out financially. Our hearts are with you.
Carol

Hi dancetoday, lets do (dance today) I so miss dancing, anyway I was doing the same thing with my dad and mom actually today is the two year anniversary if you should call it that of dads death. thats another story but before he died he was so sweet and resolved all our issues, he was honest and I asked him some really hard questions, some things he wasn't even aware of and my mother blames everything that ever went wrong in the last 62 years on him, but now that he's dead she lights candles and tells me how much she loved him funny how people treat the ones they love so much, I made a joke about November people once her and my husband both november born???? makes me wonder anywho. My mother does the same thing to me and yes I could certainly use some extra bucks my mother eats like a horse but I wouldn't ask her Because her money means more to her than her kids, or anything else its the MINE syndrome, sounds like your sister is the same way. I have two siblings that do not help they both live 650 miles one south one north and they don't have to deal with the 24/7 now that mom lives with me for over a year now so we all understand how these things go I ran and ran and ran when they had their apt. Imoved them down here with me because I knew neither one of my sibling would ever offer to help them because there is just too much bad history caused by the parents but you have to do the right thing and somedays are much harder than others especially when there is no comfort from anyone else in your life, they all distance themselves because they do not want to be bothered or they do not know how to help or listen or plain just don't care. I am dealing with a lot right now but I can do it I am woman HEAR ME ROAR! At the ripe old age of 60 I am still learning to do things I didn't think I would need to do I thought in marriage some things a woman did and some things a man did but I found out a woman better know how to do whatever is necessary. AND THATS THE TRUUUUTH oh sorry didn't mean to spit on you LOL have a good day and come and vent, chat, laugh, cry with all of us cuz that's what we do.

So far having a good day even though I told the husband I would go visit him today he said come at lunch abd bring a pizzia I said no it will be jr. whopper. Neon you have a good day I am so excited I lost another lb. only 5-10 to go and will be happy. We finally getting warm weather soon it will be time to buy veggie plants.

MindingOurElders, thanks so much for understanding. Sometimes I think NOBODY understands. My kids are too young to appreciate all I do for them. My mother thanks me at times but then throws these major guilt trips at me that wipe out all of the thank you's. My friends are married and have much more financial cushion than me and someone else to (at least theoretically) share the chores. She is on anti-depressants but I'm not sure it is making much difference, if any. She doesn't get out much. There are things she likes to do but often won't because of apathy, which I know goes with depression. She has rides to places and there is plenty going on that she still could do. I can only HOPE I will have the financial means that she does when I retire (not likely) so that I am not stuck at home. She at least has a choice but chooses not to go out much.

Neonwocky, dancing is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes. I truly feel happy when I get a chance to dance. It isn't often enough. I can't just turn on music and dance at home because my kids are at the age that they would make fun of me and it would be such an issue it wouldn't be worth it. I have an ipod player in my room but not enough room there right now to dance. SOME DAY when I have some time, I'll figure out a way.

My sister has a lot more money than I do. She's married to a doctor and even if she wasn't, her profession pays a lot more than mine. They collect original works of art and take cruises and yet somehow my sister convinced my mom that she needed to give her a big chunk of money this year and not the rest of us (my mom had originally said she wasn't doing that any more as she needed the money now, her expenses were up, which is probably true).

I think part of why my mother blew up at me was that she got confused and asked me what I'd done with the money, and then realized it was my sister she'd given it to. Whenever she gets confused or can't remember something and she thinks that I'm somehow questioning her (sometimes I'm just trying to understand what she's telling me, not criticize her memory) she blows up at me.

Neon, I understand about the sibs. I haven't even mentioned that I have a brother who lives HERE who cut off all contact to my parents before my dad died. There is no real explanation. He is back in contact with my sister and brother but not to my mother or me. So there is no help from him. And he is a doctor so he has the financial resources he could help out but he doesn't and just sits and waits for his share of the money when she dies, I suppose.

I also totally relate to having to learn how to do what you thought the guy was going to do. I am SO pleased with myself when I use a staple gun, drill, etc. (so far, it's very basic). IF I HAD TIME (is there a theme here?) I would really learn how to make stuff and fix stuff and to H%#L with worrying about having a man help me out! Can't always afford to pay one (to fix stuff) and can't seem to find the free kind that's worth having around!

I hope everyone has a good weekend coming up, whatever that may be for you.

dancetoday, well honey I don't know what to tell you, I thought well stupid me I will try one more time so asked my husband if he wanted to have lunch with me today, Well, he might be too busy so kiss my foot ya know. I can use a drill have one, have staple gun and fix stuff all the time going to start striping my kitchen cabinets as soon as I get two rooms reorganized, and throwing lots of stuff away or giving away or even have a yard sale put a few bucks in my pocket. I don't really dance anymore either should find me a partner or join one of those dance classes and start doing that I just might in the fall. Too much to do right now and even tho my mother hoards herself in her room I think its at the point where I need to stay close to home for the time being.
You talk about your sister and brothers and their money honey let them enjoy their money that is their God there are greater rewards after this life make your goal towards them the ones in my life that are all consumed with their life and things think they have it made although they still continue to complain to me about how hard they have it, when my sister had a hurricaine problem "charlie" my husband and I drove twice 650 miles to be there for them, they have a much nicer home than we have and everything is better than it was pre hurricane but they are having such hard times can't even come for a visit and I can't go there and honestly don't want to. Go out on boats and have lunch and all kinds of things but still so tired so poor. Well they ought to try living with mother, feeding her, taking her where she wants to go which isn't much but so much waiting involved for me it drives me nuts. Than the poor pitiful me I can shop and buy but I can't lift the bags to bring in the house. Well last night I made her put her own stuff away she buys so much junk and clothes and never goes anywhere except the doctor and grocery store and dollar store and she sure don't wear them at home looks like a bag lady all the time. It's a shame they aren't my size. I won't even get that and there is no money here for me they neverworked(parents) so she gets minimum SS and 46.00 worth of food stamps I do make her pay board which she hates but she made us pay board when we were just trying to start out and she and dad lived with us several times because they were going to get evicted so don't worry about money it will always work out some of us aren't supposed to have too much and thats just the way it is for me that is the least of my problems I am behind on some bills because husband had a cut in work in november but slowly but surely getting them caught up and even got one paid off, that is my goal this year to get them paid off Ijust want to buy myself one more thing and thats a tire, and than I won't have to ask anyone to do anything for me not even lunch LOL Well hope you are feeling better try not to press your mother with questions it saves you a lot of stress. I find that the less I ask mine the better off I am, we have absolutely nothing to say to each other. she watches tv, sleeps, eats, reads her enquirer does her laundry and she's very satisfied, I stopped thinking she would be a part of our family and help a little bit with emptying dishwasher and little things but she doesn't want to be bothered she pays her board and thats all she thinks is required of her so I leave her to her own devices, she doesn't want to eat right and I stopped that battle to one day it will be death by salt or death by sugar she has HB and is getting bigger everyday. But she knows best and thats the way it is. I am not stressing over someone who knows it all and thinks I'm stupid and ignorant so I just go to work, do house work,make meals, work in the yard, do my mentoring, go to church, and bible study today I have a veiwing to go to a friend of mines husband was killed in a head on collision with another semi and he burned up so you see life is too short to worry about stuff we have no control over he was only 47. Take care and what don't get fixed use duct tape that seems to be a mans way of fixing things anyway I swear we used to live in a house and it shined it had so much duct tape on it. Week ends are just more work days for me won't be doing anything special either although I hoped we would but wrong again. That seems to be the one thing I am consistant about LOL

Neonwacky, you are right, money is not the way to happiness (but neither is being poor and I might not mind trying having more money for a while if I could). The other day I was saying to a friend that it isn't my fault that I didn't marry a doctor so I could stay home and not work and have everything taken care of for me financially. She said yes, but it isn't my mother's or sister's fault that they DID do that, either. I agree, I don't begrudge them that. But it was just that my mother brought it up and accused me of spending up $10,000 she'd given to me this year. Then she realized it was my sister she gave it to, not me. Once when my sister wanted me to contribute financially to an expensive gift she was getting for my mom, I said I didn't have enough and had utility bills I couldn't pay right now. She said "sometimes I can't pay utility bills, either." I said "Oh, come on, you can't pay your utility bills, yet you just got back from a cruise?" She said that was her choice and not mine to discuss, or something like that. So she tells my mom sob stories about her needs while spending money on artwork and all kinds of stuff. THAT is what bothers me.

I didn't ask my mom a bunch of questions. She brought it up. She ASKED me if I needed any money and then when I said that I did, she started to chew me out about it. That's what made it so upsetting. I had already decided it was a BAD idea to talk to her either about health or relationships. Those are out. Now I guess I just have to not talk about money, either. There is the weather, I guess. Then there is my mother complaining about her health issues, which I know she needs to talk about. It's just not a great dinner table conversation when I can't bring anything up and she has nothing to talk about except her health.

Yeah, my mom knows best, too. That's why I stopped talking about MY health issues. Even if I told her that a specialist had told me XYZ, she would say "Oh, I don't think so. I think you should blah blah blah."

You're right, life is too short. I think I'm going to go out and buy some more duct tape! Hey, it should come in more colors! Then when we are fixing things with it, we could have more fun decorating!

dancetoday, I think it already comes in different colors LOL I didn't mean to sound like I was chewing you out I wasn't. thats where my mother and I are this depressing person is always telling me how the rain is so depressing but I love the rain it makes my gardens grow. we are just too different she and I. That is the biggest problem I think. I know my mother doesn't want to hear about my health problems either and the funny thing is I have more than her but I keep on trucking no body wants to hear it. I work with someone whose father died about 8 months ago left them with money vehicles lake houses and more and its all consuming I see this person changing from a down to earth person to a what do we get next type. and everything is going to her head and if you say something you are the one with the problem because she is so perfect. I too could use some good luck win the lottery find a second job something to make the ends meet but that won't happen until I find a few more hours in a day. My mother won't even eat with us anymore she takes her food to her room I am at the point where I just don't care. I am treating people as they treat me from now on I used to live by the rule treat others as you want them to treat you WHAT A LAUGH!!! I know I talk to charlie browns teacher all the time to blah blah blah blah kinda gets on your nerves don't it? You try and have a good day I wish you all the best wish I could help in some way when I help others I don't dwell on my problems so much.

Hi Dear friends! I posted here a while ago, but it must have disappeared into thin air. It said "your comment has been posted" and then poof! Oh well, yeah you're right Neon, duct comes in many different colors. I found that out when I went to Wal-mart to get my Mr. Fix-it some. All colors of the rainbow.

I sure could use a little lottery winnings too, LOL. But not meant to be I guess.
Neon, I'm so sorry to hear about your friends husband. It is so very sad. It just proves once again that life can be taken in a blink of an eye anytime. Don't know your friend, but give her a big hug for me.

My dad is going to assisted living in two weeks. I cannot wait to get my own house back in order again, whatever normal is, LOL. He seems to be accepting the idea, we will see if he accepts the change. He does not like the fact that it will be costing so much. But I told him, there are no other choices. I just hope he gets involved with the other residents, and takes advantage of all the activities they have to offer. He just likes to sit and stare, read magazines, or watch tv. But mostly he sits and stares when he runs out of stuff to read. I think novels are too complicated for him now. He won't do crosswords, or jigsaw puzzles. He hasn't wanted to be involved in my or his grandchildren's lives for a number of years. Whenever I asked him to attend the children's school or church functions, I always got "Do I have to?" "Groan, grunt, sigh, oh well, if I have to then, I guess." He attended grandparents day at my daughter's school once. I asked him to do it for her. The grandparents were treated to a nice lunch, and activity, then a photo with their grandchild. The photo he took with my daughgter shows him not smiling, corners of mouth turned down. What a momento that was for her. She is now 19yrs old, and still remembers that day. He has a new Great-grandson he is not even interested in. When my daughter and her family come to visit, he doesn't even turn his head to look at them. Just sits and stares at the tv, or off into space. This is so sad.

It is true money does not equal happiness when I was young I worked in a private psych hospital that was ser up like a country club and I had never seen such sad people in my life so I learned young it is not money that bring happiness for me it is doing voleenter work even thought it is pretty cancer pads of crocheting lap robes for people to put over them while in a wheelchair or striaghting out books in my section of the library or getting the church mail it is nice to be appreciated at least by others I do not get that at home.

Dear Austin sweetie, we appreciate you here. And as for home, you should be appreciated with all you have had to endure. They won't appreciate us until we are gone, and that is so sad. But you will have your reward in heaven for all the good you do. Love, Hugs, and Prayers to you, and all here. Have a wonderful weekend!

Is it absolutely true that money does not bring happiness. I live in an area where the demographics swing from one extreme to the other. It's interesting to see that the poorer people always seem to enjoy get togethers with their familes and the wealthier people dread it. If you are outside walking, the poorer ones are all outside whooping it up in the yard. The rich ones can't wait to scurry inside before they have to talk to someone. I think I mentioned that I also work as a caregiver (along to being thrown into it in my personal life) The bigger the house (where it actually looks like a museum, and you can't find your way back to your starting point for the first day) the more mean and miserable they are. The couple I work for now have money (they own apartment buildings in Orange County), but they live very modestly and are happy. Actually happy with EACH OTHER! In my 16 years of doing this I have never worked with a couple that were happy. I usually turn down cases where it is a couple because they fight like maniacs.
Anyway, I agree with Neon that it is especially difficult when the personalities of a parent are so different than our own. I also love the rain (we don't see much of it) dad finds it depressing, I love Fall-dad loves Spring--as far as tv shows and movies we couldn't be more different. I try not to let every little thing bother me. Every since I've known him ,EVERYTHING bothers him. My daughter and I, however, are almost the same in everything. Hopefully that will hold for when I grow old.
Anyway, don't worry about money grubbing relatives--they are like that because they are filling some other void--which will never be filled. Ever seen those shows about lottery winners and the hell that they go through? Not to say that I don't buy the occasional ticket. Spending summers in a cooler place would be awesome!

Hi all Y'all, I heard thats how you address everyone when you live down here LOL

Neonwacky I think you got it dancetoday LOL kinda like it! Well shiver me timbers I just got a phone call from my husband. This morning when I was leaving I said would you like to have lunch today? His reply well I have this to do and I said Oh I'm sorry I forgot you are so busy all the time nevermind. some other time. Maybe!! so I guess he thought about it he really hasn't been in my life much in the last three to four weeks just doesn't have a clue that he could be and I could be so happy doesn't take much to make me happy just a little togetherness a few hours a week. I work to boy do I work and I go go go but I can always find time for him I will let something go for him I wish he would learn to do that for me so maybe at least for today he is. That is my blessing today. As for my friend yes, you never know when your time is up, this is what I want my husband to understand when you are gone all the time like he is and he never calls me during the week to let me know whether I admit to it or not it is a stress. I have explained that to him and have told him you don't know this could be the last time you see each other. you don't have to be old and sick to die.

I am so happy for you NAUS I know your home will be less stressful although that opens another can of worms you will have to dedicate time to visit your Dad, I know mine were the same way my son does not like his grandmother because she never took the time to be a grandmother but she thinks just because she is she should be worshipped. Well I tried to explain to her the only worshipping going on is to God, she is not a saint by no means and even is she were she still wouldn't be worshiped. You have to choose your words carefully. Or so I am told. Well one more hour and I will spend some time with my husband, thank you God, thats what I've been wishing and praying for, for weeks and I am grateful. So I guess I need to tell my husband that. Boy the seesaw world we live in but I'm not getting so up in the air don't know what the rest of the week end will bring he might bite my head off for something just to hear himself growl. I hope not I hate when that happens makes me a nervous wreck. See prayers do work between you guys and my church family prayers do work, I will give my friend a extra special hug tonight when I see her She as I had the same kind of relationship with her husband that makes it pretty tough when one loves so hard and the other one might love but can't or doesn't know how to express it. will check in later

OOooops! Neon, didn't notice my typo! I'm glad you like it. I need to get to work but just wanted to drop a short note. I was off this morning to see my son get an award at the Governor's Mansion. My daughter brought my mother. She said that in the car on the way my mom couldn't hear her (she is deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other) so my daughter spoke louder. The my mom said "Don't SHOUT at me!" So typical!! :-)

Hey okay I am wacky, So proud of your son you must be. I get the same from my mother took her to the hearing doctor about 6 months ago and had her hearing tested she's been hard of hearing for years and years, he said her hearing is so bad she is not even a candidate for a hearing aid, so sad to just let yourself deteriorate without getting something done, now she is supposed to have the cataracts off her eyes and she refuses. Acted like a baby when the eye doctor wanted her to sign the paper for surgery so soon she will be blind to boot I just can't wait to see what I will be doing then after you say something 5 times and you get louder and louder its very frustrating, although all Ihave to say is it's time to eat one time and bingo she's there

Hey Neon, my dad is so hard of hearing too. The other day, I said "get yourself ready, we are going shopping at wal-mart". I had to repeat it. When he was finally getting ready I said "are you almost ready"? He said, "where are we going?" I said "I told you already". He said "I can't understand you". I said it louder and louder, I know damn well he heard me. Then, just as a test later that day, I said lower "food is ready", and he gets up off that couch so fast, like lightning hit him in the ass! LOL