Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

I just got a call back they are going to fix the problem plus send me a gift card!!!!!

does CVS do the 3 and 9 deal like Wal Mart?

OMG Well since I post Ive called Wal Mart Head office they said they would look into it and call me in three days. Lets see what that does? I knew I wasn't the only one but ours in a small town so maybe Ill get some action. Okay I dreaming. All pharmacy are slow I understand that. I would be too if I had to decifer Dr. handwriting but when address telephone number dont change from refill to refill I have a problem with that. I agree poor poor workmanship and its getting worse here. Im going to call around for pharmacy. How about Walgreen any luck with them anyone?

I don't use WalMart, so I can't say much except that this sounds unacceptable. I use CVS, and they keep filled prescriptions for two weeks, and I call them in ahead and they are ready when I get there. I'm sure it depends on how busy a place is, but what you are going through is not right.

Carol

I do deal with Wal Mart Pharmacy and either you have to wait over a hour or if you don't get it the next day they put it back in stock and you have to wait another hour I don' know how to get around it either. I agree with Bill the work ethics of people today and some of them are not so young I might add. I had trouble with Rite Aid three times finally I contacted them via the web and told them I was not dealing with their inadeqacies anymore, If that was the best they could find for manager at this store they might as well close it because with the customer service she gives its going to close anyway, in this economy people at least want to be looked at and called by name and given correct information and not a lot of run around. Apparently she got her ass chewed out, she called to apologize and told me it would be a no charge haha and she would call me back as soon as my item came in, well guess what she didn't and she still wanted to charge me even tho it said no charge and you can only imagine what I told her to do with it if I had to pay for it. I work in customer service for a hospital I would be tarred and feathered. I worked as a waitress for 25 years and another 6 in the florist business, yes there are times you want to show them to the door but in all my years of customer service I have never seen such poor workmanship.

Thanks for venting. A problem shared is a problem cut in half. I don't use Walmart's pharmacy, so I don't realate to the situation with them. I do relate with this newer generation of workers that don't share the same work eithics that my parents both taught me. It's scarey to think of what it'll be like in say. . . 10 yrs?

Well everyone my weekend was wonderful! I intend to do it again. But right this second I need to vent bad. Please is there anyone else out there that has the trouble I do getting meds from Wal Mart. I will have to make a third trip to pick up meds again. I am going to call Wal Mart and complain. It is so ridiculous they either mess up address or name or birthdate or insurance. I just don't get it. I am not the only one here. They do this to a lot of people here. I do my ordering online hoping it will be ready . Nope no such luck they still loose something. I really at a loss here. I was so angry that I ran over a mans heels with MIL wal mart wheelchair. God I was so sorry. But give me a break here. Just fill my prescriptions without mistakes one time please. Oh sorry they did do it one time without a mistake gosh guess it was to much to ask for it to be done on a regular basis huh. Is there another pharmacy that offers the discounts like 3 and 9 for meds. Oh and this last meds by the time I get there again they will restock and Ill have to wait again . Call Wal Mart right now!!!!!!!!!!!

I am doing pretty well myself the back pain finally the past few days was a lot less and go for check up they found another problem in my back on last xray but doc said it is of no big concern-easy for him to say-the husband wants to come home from rehab after two weeks and is making abuse phone calls which when I see his number come up let the answering machine get so today he borrowed someones elses phone and gave me an earful-so I called the NH and told them to tell the staff that was not going to be allowed-it may br the time to have him placed-he will have a hissy-fit but he has been so meam to me for so long I have had enough the kids 40 and 43 are aware of this and agree if he comes home I will get more aide time and when he srarts in with his mouth-I will get in the care and go some- where for a time I am not a shopper but the senior center is up the road from home and we have a fantasic bike path.

Yeah texting that is great Good for you. Gosh Austin you sound like my life. lol
I took care of my two brothers while stepmother beat and abused me. What a life? Aren't we suppose to be the crazy ones or the mad ones in jail hmmmm?

Carol thank for your words of support it was great the things you said because it comes from a person who has lived it- I still have quilt feelings about all of this but I will not be sucked back into that gloom I do deserve respect life has never been easy for me from taking care of my sister when I was less than 7 to a brother and sister when I was less than 9.

Austin, you are so strong. Keep standing up for yourself and don't take abuse. You've got a great heart.

Texting??? Good for you. I blocked mine, but I suppose I'll have to start that, too.

You're in our thoughts and prayers,
Carol

Praying for you Austin, for your strength and healing and everything there. You have been through so much. Sorry for the husband's troubles. Praying for him and your relief in that area as well. Hopefully you will heal quickly and be able to enjoy the Spring a little. Bless you.

I have not been on much and am trying to recover from my back proceedure-I still have much pain but have been trying to get back into things with friends the husband is still in rehab and both the social worker and our Pod. thinkm he needs to be placed which I do not want to do but might change aides when a male aide can not give a male pt. an entire bath or even help him in and out of a walk-in tub/shower it is bad the only thing is he will drive him to appointments which are often. The husband told me he does not want to see me and only yelled at me for the few min. I was there so I will stay away until he tells me he can be an adult- he knows he can not act up with our son I really think he does have a personality disorder besides being bi-polor. I mostly feel sorry for him he is lonly I am sure and he could have a decent life- I will not let him drag me down with him. My son taught me how to use my new phone or I am trying to learn how I never thought an old lady of 68 would have to have instructions taught to them to make phone call and I can almost text people.

Thanks for the pat on the back. But each and everyone needs that pat also and it makes me angry that we as caregivers are not recognized as we should be. So every one please look in the mirror and tell yourself you are a good and loving person and no matter what you have to decide to do to make things better or easier.

Wow Susan! You have been through it... And you have a good spirit in spite of all you've experienced. Praise God you got better instead of bitter. What a testimony! Now you are a blessing to many. Thank you for your thoughtful words. I hear you. I went from an abusive and neglectful Mother, to a drug-abusing, verbal and physically abusive husband as well. Walked out 6 years later after an ultimatum. Now I have a wonderful hero of a husband, and a precious son. God brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. You reminded me, that even though things aren't perfect in my relationship with my complaining Mother, things were, and could be much worse. I probably need to focus more on counting my blessings. Thanks for your compassion and a jolt back to reality. Bless you Susan and Naus, Neon, msTish, and others. Hope all is well with you, and that you have a good weekend.

No one here is a whiner and don't ever feel guilty. I use to be married to a man that had a head injury. I went through hell and back with him. Head injuries can bring out the good or the bad. His was all bad. I spent many a night praying I would wake up the next day. I spent 2 years in that hell and escaped with my life. I found or should I say my new husband found me. When all went down with his father dying and his mother needing care. I didn't hesitate to step up. My husband said Susan are you sure. I said yes because you will support and help me with this and I know I can handle anything after walking away from that nightmare. So all and all his mother is a piece of cake. I felt guilty when I left my head injury husband but when people started saying Susan how did you stay as long as you did. I knew I had done the right thing. The day after I left I went cold turkey on all nerve, sleeping and meds I was on just to cope. I haven't had to take any of that stuff since. I knew I was drowning in that situation and for my sanity and safety it was time to let go. It made me a stronger person so that I know I can handle whatever mom in law can dish out. I know Alzetimers is bad but I rather deal with that or dementia any day rather than a head injury !!!!!!!!!!!

lazor, have a wonderful, well deserved outing! Naus

Dear lazor, thank you for your upbeat words. Hooray for you, and I'm glad you get a break, and that things are OK with you, that your husband supports you (mine does, too) and that you have a positive attitude.

I hate writing about the pain and negative stuff I have to deal with. It makes me feel vulnerable after posting, not relieved. Like I'm a whiner or something. Perhaps I am. I am so blessed in most areas of my life, except to do with family. Dad is OK, but Mom's the hardest. And so is my sibling who does nothing but criticize me. Sad. Thank God for friends and loving supporters! And thanks be to God for providing the love of friends. Since this is a vent site, I did. I shouldn't have to feel "guilty" for that, but it doesn't feel any more comfortable than the pain and burdens I carry in my heart. We weren't "allowed" to share feelings in our family, unless it included anger. So it will probably never feel comfortable to share my true feelings and intimate longings. Only a few safe people hear the whole of it, and only by the grace of God do we find comfort. Sometimes blowing sunshine doesn't fit with the reality of the grief and pain we bear. Thanks for listening, responding, and caring.

I read these posting and count my blessings. Mom in law has dementia but hers is threw strokes. It was bad when she first came here because her thyroid meds weren't being taken. That has greatly improved. She carries on normal conversation only forgetting some things. For 75 years old she don't do to bad. My heart goes out to each and everyone of you that has to deal with your family. Because the few months mother in law was like that it was pretty bad. I really feel bad that the only issues we deal with her is money. She thinks she don't have any and expects us to pay for all. We just do the best we can. Now that Im fudicary of the VA its helped with that. Her other sons still think she has alzetimers and I just leave them alone and deal with them if I have too. Which thank God isn't very often. They only pop in and call when its easy for them. My husband and I are invited out this weekend to go to a friends house for a get together. We are going thank God. My daughter is coming to sit with inlaw. I'm so excited I really haven't had a good social break since last year and then we had to take her with us. Its not all roses here but the thorns aren't really bad either. Thank God my husband is very supportive and has helped me with her. Hope maybe this upbeat post will encourage and be hopeful for yall

Thanks for your comforting words, Naus. My husband told me not to worry about taking over my Dad's finances, that it wouldn't be long before he would be able to care anymore. Hubby was right. With Advanced Stage Alzheimer's, Dad declined quickly. He even mailed bills to me (as Conservator and Guardian) at first. Since then, he hasn't asked one question. He took the best care he could of everything as long as he could, then God placed me in position to help them both out. Perhaps he can't even remember about them. I am glad he's not worried. I didn't say much. The first thing I did was "stop the hemorrhaging," as my husband called it, which means, I canceled all the Credit Cards. Then I paid those off, using their assets. Even if Dad still had one in his pocket, I had the legal authority to cancel. He tried to use it at the store, etc., only to find out it "didn't work" anymore. I didn't say anything to him. It was the gentler, softer way. Kind of like Carol's idea of being creative when necessary. Whatever works. He did think I "stole" some things from him, (papers) to pay bills with, but he truly wasn't keeping up anymore. I did what had to be done to prevent them losing everything due to inability to maintain. It wasn't fun, and I felt like Chicken Little with chunks of sky hitting my head, but held my convictions, and took care of matters. Since then, the fight is out of him. He is now a contented Alzheimer's resident, showered with lots of love and attention from his "favorite firstborn," son-in-law, and grandson. We are taking care of Dad and Mom the best we can. Thanks for your encouragement, Naus. Sometimes the sky still feels like it's falling. And sometimes I'm reminded that it's not that bad. I'm dreaming of having my toes in the warm sand on Hwy2 this summer. Till then, Chicken Little is just trying to see the blue sky beyond the whirlwind. Your words lifted me a bit Naus. Thanks.

OOPS! Forgot to mention, Dad is doing okay, until I tell him that he won't be writing anymore checks, placing phone orders with credit cards, etc. Not sure if I should even mention it to him. I have been keeping everything from him to avoid arguments. If he doesn't mention it I don't, or if he does, I try to totally change the subject. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I have been listening to my gut before anything or anyone else, and it seems to be working on everything. I don't even let my husband tell me what to do on all these issues anymore, he's is kind of a take charge person, even though that's just his way of trying to help. I learned not to let him tell me what to do on these issues the hard way once, and decided from then on to listen to my gut. Some of you don't listen to yours, and then you get confused on what to do. Listen closer, and you will hear the answers to your questions. It is your guardian angel talking to you. Naus

Wow Anne! You know the old saying don't you? "No good deed goes unpunished." Here on earth that is, but in heaven you shall be rewarded Anne. Just know that God Loves You, and we here Love You too. I feel like running away a lot too. Unfortunately, it wouldn't happen or wouldn't solve anything, but it's nice to dream about eh? I'd like to run away to a deserted tropical island. Dream on! Prayers to you Anne, and all. Birthday is next Wed., just another day older and deeper in debt LOL. Good day to all. Naus

Wow! Thanks for asking Naus! I've been meaning to write... My husband, 8yr old son and I drove 200 miles down to take her to the Cancer Surgeon, only to find she needs pre-op, which we accomplished in part that day. Hubby fixed a loose wire on her clothes dryer and repaired her lawn where someone had gotten stuck this winter. She wanted us to do so much more. She was so mean and bitter spirited to me, and sniping at me. She was difficult to be around, and I had to bite my tongue. I tried to share something about her income taxes and finances with her, and she about stabbed a knife into me, again...saying, "I don't want Cancer, I don't want to be sick..." She said I was complaining, but she didn't hear what I was trying to say. No matter how hard I try, she always attacks me and thinks I'm attacking her. Yuk. We drove home after taking her out to eat. Her attitude hurts herself and me. Sometimes I just can't "get it off me." Instead of building relationships, she makes me want to run away, and gets duty and pity. So sad. Nice of you to ask, Naus. Could use some prayer. How are you doing with your Dad and everything there? By the way, Happy Birthday Naus!!!

Dear Anne, how's Mom doing? Naus

Carol, that was a brilliant way to handle your Mom's taxes and concerns. Thanks for sharing it. Thanks to all you ladies who share your experience, strength and hope. It helps to hear your stories, and encourage one another. God bless you, and hope you're having a good week.

Hi elaine, good for you this site, it has helped me tremedously. don't feel ashamed to invite your classmate over, He to has parents or maybe not but if he does he will eventually be where you are today. Let him know the wonderful person you are careing and giving and loving. This could just be the person to help you deal with this. I have to disagree on one point tho not all nursing homes are the same. Alzhiemers is a nasty disease, I dealth with it with my MIL These things they cannot help they do have full conversations with people who aren't there and are up all hours of the night, My mother is like that to I call her a night owl and she sleeps all day off and on in her recliner than I call her sleeping beauty she just laughs, well got a new dog yesterday beautiful husky they were going to euthenize, someone dropped her off with five pups so she will be spayed next week want to give her a time to adjust, our other adopted dog wants t be the boss haha he is showing her the ropes, these are good for mom it gives her something to take interest in as she likes dogs. I didn't need one more thing to do but taking care of dogs is easier than people. Naus you just brighten my day just passing along life experience thats all thats all I have think sometimes I've lived thru too many experiences could write a book call it they found me under a rock sub title looked at me said this will work and been working ever since.

How is Austin doing? Its funny not haha funny but odd how you connect with each other here and are concerned for one another. I like that reminds me of a good Beatle song Come together I'm a beatles freak. Can you see me at 80 in the nursing home going " Okay everyone tonight we are having a special party called Beatlemania get out them love beads and them peace signs and lets dance "far out" Sometimes I just crack me up.


It doesn't matter if you are an only child or not Only one of us is going to be caregiver I can assure you. there are three of us well I thought there were three of us don't know where the other two are??? funny how that works out but don't internalize too much do the best you can do and the stuff you can't do ASK someone else to do it or use faciities that are available. Have a life God gave you the life, mother and daddy didn't do it by themselves God wants you to do what is right with your life and he wants you to be happy. I hope thesefew pearls of wisdom help (I named the new dog Pearl) LOL Take care and find time for YOU Love and hugs to all Neon

When they lose control of finances, it seems to be a day to day basis. Some days they don't notice, and then something triggers a memory and they are all over you.

My mother was too out of it, one year, to sign her taxes, and I had a POA, so I signed for her. The CPA was fine with that. But then she rallied and realized later and was asking about them. I knew she'd be livid that I signed them as POA - even though it was the only way to get them in on time, so the CPA was kind enough to make a duplicate. I got the "sign here" stickers, and she signed again. He was/is a good man. She was happy and her taxes got in on time. She didn't owe, but still had to file. Whew! What we go through.

Blessings to all of you,
Carol

Bittohonie and Beyondfrustrated, I too know how you feel. I also cry all the time, and am 48yrs old next week. That knot in your stomach is from all of the stress. I too have it often, and can't eat because of it. Also nauseated from cleaning up certain things LOL. I also am the only one caring for my father, since I am the only one left. You are right, you need to find the humor in this, if at all possible, to keep your sanity. Beyond, I too am one of those who still refuses to ask for help. Sometimes that can be a downfall. My father was like that too, that is why he is still in denial, and refuses help, even though he is getting it anyway, whether he likes it or not. I have taken away the last bit of his independence this week, and must soon let him know. Per the conservatorship, he can no longer handle his finances now, and he will begin to start asking why his pension checks, and other bills are no longer showing up. Will he go into another deep depression? Will he get hostile again? He has been so good this past week. The calm before the storm? You all hang in there too! Naus

Neon, thanks once again! You know exactly how to help us all pick ourselves back up, dust off, and start again. You are a jewel! All of you are! The Lord has always given us a new day to start again and make things right. I always use my Mother as an example, I just wish I could be the person she was. She always had a smile and a "good morning" for me, even when I was a grump. She always had a hug and an "I Love You" for me everyday, even though she never had that from her mother. Hugs to you all! Nauseated

Hi Elaine-I haven't posted in awhile because I just haven't had time. Had a particular bad morning with my dad, so I thought I'd go here and get my "fix" so to speak. It's always reassuring to see that I'm not the only one going through this (misery loves company as they say). My father has dementia and within the last few months it has gotten so bad that he now can't live alone anymore. I am an only child and now it's all on me. He also prowls at night and never wants to sleep. He sleeps here and there and everytime he wakes up it's breakfast time (get me some pancakes). It's driving me nuts. I also feel guilt in the sense that I know his days on this earth are limited, however most of the time I don't want to be around him because of the crazy things he talks about. This morning he fell again in the bathroom. Didn't get hurt, but it still pisses me off (why does he have to be up CONSTANTLY and in the bathroom?) I know it's not his fault, it's the dementia, but it is so frustrating. I also swore that I would never put him in a home, I know first hand how those places can be. It will certainly be a last resort and I know I will feel even more guilty. He has had dementia for many years, but has always been able to manage on his own here and there-i.e. cook his meals, take his meds, stay safe...now it's a completely different person that I am dealing with. I got him some new meds for sleep, which I will try on him tonight. This not being able to sleep at night is also driving me crazy. My daughter has moved back in with me and helps here and there when she can, however, I do not want to dump too much of this on her. I know it freaks her out seeing her Grandpa like this. I also have no social life when he is here--that has gone on for many years, in fact. Now that it is on a permanent basis I feel depressed about that. I found an old friend through Classmates last year and he is coming to this area next month. I have told him what is going on. I can meet him for dinner and such, but am too embarrassed to have him over to my house to witness this. Even as I write this I know it sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. This is a very good site Elaine--everyone is very understanding and helpful with useful information. All I can say is hang in there, try not to feel guilty, for this is certainly in no way your fault--you can only do so much. If you can, get a hobby that you really enjoy and participate in it whenever you can--find time for YOU to enjoy yourself before all hell breaks loose again (so to speak). Find humor in whatever you can--it sounds like you do. I know if I didn't have my own bizarre sense of humor, I would have been taken away in a basket years ago!--and get as many resources as you can to help you. I am a person who has always hated asking anyone for help, and now I find myself having to do so more and more and that upsets me as well. My fathers care has always been through the VA and I have started the ball rolling in regard to getting me some help here and there so I can not only see that my father gets the help that he needs, but that I also get a break as well so that I do not break down during this process.Anyway, my best to you--again, you will find that this site helps. Also many thanks to you who have given me advice--I haven't posted because I never have any time. Best to you all.