Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

Well, I just found out my dad has to fast for some lab tests at the heart center on the same day that my mom has an appointment with her heart doctor. They have both had heart attacks and Dad has a defibulator. So, I guess Dad is going to drive himself and I will take Mom to her appointment. I am grateful to have both of my parents, but it sure is difficult when they both have ailments at the same time. I am just going to keep working on my medical transcription class and hang in there and thank goodness for the few spare moments that I have spare time to enjoy the company of friends.

Thanks

I guess that this is a vent, or gripe, or whatever....just writing it down and telling strangers might help. I'm 45 years old, have a 15 year old daughter at home, divorced and both my parents are living with me. My mom is diebetic and my dad is extremely overweight, has some heart problems, but other than that, they are relatively healthy. They live with me because they can't afford to live anywhere and pay any rent. They have soc. sec. but Mom's meds, car payments, insurances, etc. take most of the money.
I love my parents but this is just not working!!! My daughter and I moved from Florida last year; my parents moved too because they couldn't afford mortgage payments and lost their house. (My dad was working a lawn maintenance business, but stopped doing it because he's to out of shape and he had 2 minor heart attacks that he didn't even know about)
I work and pay the bills, and my job doesn't pay alot so I never have any money. I know that I sound selfish posting here with everyone else having medical problems with their parents, but this is stressful too. I feel like my life is over and I'll be sitting with my parents for the next 15 years watching Wheel of Fortune.
My older daughter (that lives in Florida) is going to have a baby in June...I'm so excited!!!! I'm looking for a job in Florida and my youngest daughter and I are trying to move back so I can be close to my grandson. My parents are trying to guilt me with "what are we going to do", "how can we live", etc. I told them they could come back to Florida with us, but they want to be in North Carolina so I told them to get a place of their own. I feel like a terrible, horrible daughter.
My parents go to Ohio to see my brothers 2-3 times per year, so I don't think that they are as broke as my dad says. I think he wants a free ride.
I have a sister and three brothers, but they are no help.
Ok, I'm done. I feel better. I'm thankful for all my blessings, that my parents are still here and I can spend time with them. Thanks all for listening.

AngelDove,
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. My mom isn't as bad as your mom yet, but I don't look forward to that day either, so I don't envy what you are going through. It's going to be hard when I do lose my mom so I can totally sympathize with your situation. I just wish you lots of prayers and hope you can find a way to bring your mom home.

Thank you all for sharing your stories. It drew both tears and smiles from me! I'm in a different sort of situation, but it has really been tearing both me and my sister up emotionally. Our Mom went from being a very active and independent person and coming down for a doctor visit last March - to now she is in a nursing home. I never thought our Mom would be in a place like that and it hurts so much. She had stents put in last April and then was bleeding internally from a stomach growth that they can't operate on and then she had a stroke - all this within a few weeks time. They first sent her from the hospital into a "rehabilitation" home which is a nursing home. We had hoped that she could recover enough to be able to stand and pivot onto a potty chair and use a wheelchair (and then we could bring her home), but that never happened. She also has developed dementia/Alzheimer's. We recently found out that her "big" therapy was stopped in November because they feel she won't progress any further. She's bedridden and is only moved to a geri chair which is like a bed on wheels where they can roll her down to the dining room and into a shower room.

This has all happened so fast, our minds are still in shock. Now we're having to face the fact that I don't believe we'll ever get to bring Mama home and I can't bear that thought! I think we're just all living some kind of pretend life and when the reality gets too close . . . the tears and panic starts!

I lay in bed at night and think and think - but, it does no good. I try to figure out a way to bring Mama home, but my sister says that it would be too expensive. I was injured a couple of years ago and can't lift or pull so I'm not of any good to help with the physical duties. My sister can't do the physical part either. She thinks that we would have to pay someone for round the clock care. I think we could come up with a little over $3,000 a month for help, but she says that won't be enough.

When I talk to Mama, I forget sometimes about the dementia and for a while, it's just a regular conversation and then suddenly she'll ask if I've talked to Daddy today and then it's like someone jerks a rug out from under me! Daddy has been gone for over 10 years now. Sometimes she has a nurse call and tell me she's ready for me to come and get her and I fumble for words. All I can come up with is that we can't come and get her until her doctor releases her. Other times, she thinks she's been at home and wants to know when I'm coming as she's been cooking a roast all day. It hurts so bad! We play a fantasy game and I smile and laugh with her and we pretend to add food to the roast, etc., but there's no roast! Sometimes I feel like I'm falling to pieces, but I can't let Mama see or know that. She's always been there for me and now I feel like I'm letting her down, because I can't find a way to bring her home!

She's been at that place since early June and I wonder if she realizes that. Sometimes she'll tell me that she's never been in the hospital this long before, but I don't really know how long she thinks she's been there. And the worst part is, when I visit with her and it's time to leave and I kiss her and wave goodbye and then have to walk down that long hallway and out the door where I smell fresh air!! The guilt is overwhelming! I went out to eat a couple of weeks ago and as I was eating, I realized it was something that Mama loved and then suddenly I couldn't swallow. The holidays come and go - the sun shines - life goes on and seems to drag me and my sister along and we both feel so guilty we can't stand it! I ended up in the hospital a couple of months ago and it was stress related - but, I can't find a way to get rid or deal with the stress. If I think I feel bad, all I have to do is think of where Mama is and I could beat myself up!

I'm so sorry that all of you are having such struggles too. I do want to offer something I have learned. We were told by attorney after attorney that our Mother's house and assets would be going to medicaid to help pay for her care at the rehabilitation home. Of course we heard all about the look back period, etc. However, after some praying - I found an "elder" attorney which is different from estate attorneys, etc. Through him we found that because social security finally decided because of my injury a couple of years ago that I'm eligible for disability social security - I then became a "disabled" child (even though I'm an adult) which qualified me to be able to receive my mother's assets, cash and quit claim deed to her home with no look back period or penalty. This was all done even with my mother in the nursing home. He also filed through the VA and there is money because of my Dad being a veteran (even though he is deceased) to help pay for her care. So, please check out all avenues before giving up your parent's assets to the government.

In reading your posts, I see the strength - emotional and physical that it takes to care for your loved ones. Maybe I needed that to realize that it is impossible for me to be able to bring Mama home and take care of her. But, I still can't help but wonder if I'm missing some way some how that I could get help for her at home. It would mean so much to have her home! On the other side, I remember my prayers over the years for Mama to not worry and have happy memories and then I realize that even though Mama is in a nursing home - at times, she thinks she is at home cooking and taking care of her loved ones - so maybe, God in His mercy has blessed us more than we realized!

Thanks for listening! I'll be checking back to see how everyone is doing! God bless each and every one of you!!

Hi Joycasa...I can really identify w/lots you have said. Especially about the lying and the poop, and my heart really goes out to you. It's rough, I know, because I'm going through it myself. Mom isn't quite as bad as your mom is yet, but I know what's coming. Been taking care of mom for about a year now, and some days can just scream. She's going deaf, but refuses to wear hearing aids, she has emaculet degeneration so her eye sight is getting worse. She can't walk all that well, because her right foot is turning in on her, which keeps her off balance. She's 92 going on about 5 mentally, and I have to tell her what to do constantly, which I find very hard to tolerate, because she's my mom for Gods sake. I'm suppose to be able to talk to my mom and get advice from her like I use to do. Now it's the other way around, more and more each day, and it's really driving me bats.......She also has a hiatal hernia, which over the years has gotten worse. She was in the hospital for about a month, because her stomach was going into her chest because of the hernia. They put a stomach tube in her because after the operation to put her stomach where it belongs (out of her chest) she couldn't swallow. Well to make a long story shorter the hospital put her in a nursing home to tube feed her, and also get her some physical therapy for her walking, and all she did was cry the whole time she was there. I found out that you have to be strong to servive in a nursing home, and my mom is just not strong enough to do so. She always was very weak mentally. So if the time ever comes when I will have no choice but to put her in a nursing home I know she will not be able to make it. Unless her mind goes completely. Sorry didn't really mean to ramble on like this. Just want you Joycase, and all others on this site to know I do feel your pain, and understand what everyone is going through. Thank goodness for this site, and all you wonderful people.

Lindam-you are a blessing to this group

joycasa,
I am so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I feel many here will identify with your feelings.
A few months back, I was feeling like you do now. From posting my feelings and listening to feedback, I feel like I have my sanity back.
One of the things I decided to do was put myself in her shoes from time to time. It at least helped me to be a little more patient. I also started changing the way I did things. Like, if the Velcro is driving you crazy, get snaps. When she is picking at her nose(dry skin) I ask if she wants her lotion. Or ask if she put her lotion on today. It tells me when she is nervous or anxious.
I am going to take a risk here and say something that I pray does not offend you, but hope you take a little time to think about. When people make deathbed promises it is a very emotional time for all concerned. And maybe I am getting into semantics here, but taking care of someone does not always mean living in the home. Sometimes it means to find the best place for your elder, making sure they are very well taken care of in a facility. Or finding a respite facility where she can go a few days a month and give you a break.
Possibly we have to make decisions based on the here and now, and not back then. Guilt is a feeling that is preceded by the way we think about things. Healthy guilt tells us when we are doing something that is not right.
The kind of guilt that leads to resentment, is not doing anyone any good.
You just sound so overwhelmed and am so glad you told us the way you are feeling. Feelings are not right or wrong, it is what we do based on those feelings that are healthy for us. We all need time away to regroup, breathe, cry, laugh, and kick a post.
I can feel how overwhelmed you are and I know how hard it is to get it together long enough to make a healthy choice. But you have done this much, and it sounds like you desperately need a break.
Just try to do one thing for yourself everyday. Take a walk when it gets too much. I go outside and look at the sky, listen to the birds, watch the baby calves. I realize I have a near perfect place to do these things, and am very grateful for that. But if I were stuck in the house, I would turn on the radio and dance, sing, and get my mind off things just for a few minutes.
Think about some of your options to saving your health and sanity. I found when I was trying to think of things to do to keep from going crazy some of the anxiety was gone because I wasn't so focused on the things that upset me.
When we are feeling this way it is so hard if not impossible to have empathy for how miserable our elders lives have become.
I pray you get some relief soon.Thank you for sharing how you feel. Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing. God Bless

Is any type of assisted living paid for by the state? or feds? I can see a time when my mom will be more than I can handle but I can't afford it on my own :( The stories are so sad and it's so frustrating when we try to do the right thing. Why does it have to be so hard? I just wonder :( Hang in there everyone. It will get better some how :)

Joycasa, I feel for you so much. I hate to say this, but you probably need to put your mom in assisted living, nursing home, something to keep your own sanity. I too do not know my father anymore. He has become a complete stranger to me, and lately I find it very hard to be compasionate. He is mad at me all the time over stupid little things, like changing the bathroom towels. This confuses himpul I guess, because they are clean. I have become obsessed with cleaning. I change the bath towels daily, clean the bathroom my poor 12 year old daughter has to share with him 4 times a day sometimes. He has started to lose control of his bowels, which he says that I try and make him feel guilty about. I have never said anything except, get clean clothes and take a shower, and I will clean up the bathroom, which he insists he has not messed up. His eyesight is so bad, he does not see the fecal matter he leaves behind. I know he tries, but it is not enough. I am obsessive compulsive now, I'm afraid one of us will get sick because of him. I am going to put him in assisted living as soon as I get guardianship/ conservatorship. Maybe he will be happier, since he seems to hate me just for trying to help him. I too am being accused of stealing money, and those precious family heirlooms, from the mail order catalogs. LOL When I get the chance, they are all going in the garbage. I've decided I'm going to change his bath towel every single day, just to piss him off. Even though you made your Dad a promise, you cannot risk your own health, and sanity. I'm certain your Dad will forgive you, and understand you are only human, not superhuman. Take Care and Good Luck

Thanks everyone for the Hair ideas Ill try calling some around my area tomorrow, and pinkcaddy Ill google haircuts maybe I too can learn, I did cut it about a month ago did not know what I was doing but figured that I could not make it look any worse then what it was. She also needs haircoloring and set. Pintos.

Joycasa, I know how you feel, my mom is not that bad yet but I do think that she is on her way. And she to will do something or say something then deny it and say she did not then she will get mad at me. It never ends! pintos.

roxie, if its any comfort in knowing that i have the same situation with my 83 yr.old mother. including the diaherra. that really puts me over the edge. i have lost it a few times. she has even walked into her bedroom which has a bathroom connected to it and she pulled her pants down and peed on the floor twice, and then said i didn't do that , no way it wasn't me, ect. the complete denial drives me crazy..she sits all day and plays with her shoes, and her velcro pockets. i hate velcro now..she goes from one chair to the other all day. she won't watch tv or listen to music or read or look at magazines. she just fittles with her clothes, and picks at her hands that have age spots one them. she picks till there bleeding which doens't take much with her thin skin. I look so forward to the day ending you have no idea!! and grocery shopping has become my way out of the house. this is so sad. to think there may be years of this to come. and what about my life. i finailly have no children home, or grandkids thank goodness. i couldn't take care of another person. i have let myself fall apart. both physically and mentally. there are times i can't even talk clearly anymore. because i am with her so much that i sound like her. We were never really close,i was to my dad. he passed away 19 yrs ago of pancreate cancer. we took care of him too but cancer is different. i had more compassion for an illness like that. but dementia destoys both the patient and the caregiver. i am so over whelmed with it all. its been almost 9 mos. i don't even look forward to getting up anymore. i know what there is to expect daily. the routine is killing me and my spirit. we have hospsice help mondays and thurs. i too have noticed that several of my (friends) dont' call or anything anymore. i have a son that helps me, especially at night. we have had to lock mom in her room so shge doesn't get into things. and then she will stand at the door and rattle the handels till someone comes and tells her to go back to bed. god help me if i get dementia. just kill me. honestly. i do not want to do this to my family again. i have been taking care of her house which is 25 miles one way, and i have to go back and forth. it gets me out of the house but its only to do more work. taking over someone elses fiances and bills is hard,. and very aggrervating at times. i have to say that most of the time i lie and say i am her in order to get anything taken care of over the phone. the crazy questions that business ask for her to answer, and then if you try to help her they won't help you. some times it is just too much. i want my lonely life i had before this so bad..i cry at least twice a week, over stupid things that just push me over the edge. i feel like i am going nuts too. i can't thank my husband enought for taking her in with us and all the extra drama that comes with it. i would not be so agreeable if it was reversed. his mother lives 3000 miles away, and his brothers are doing there part for her. but i am a lone here with a woman i don't know anymore, and she doesn't know me most of the time. i have already gone throught the you are stealing my money and i hate you, because i won't let her drink more than1 cup of coffee a day. because of the diaharrea issue. no way. and the toilet paper she goes throught is unbeleivable!!! i hate poop!!!! i just wanted to vent and tell anyone else out there that it seems to be the same for all of us. wow this is not what i invisioned retirement to be...i would work 4 jobs if i didn't have to do this anymore. but i made my dad a promise that is would take care of her and so i am..

Pintos......Just found this site and read your post about getting your mom,s hair done. I've been caring for my mother for about a year now. I learned to cut her hair on google...lol......Just google haircuts...It's not exactly professional, but I'm getting much better at it, and mom is grateful because she can't leave the house.

PINTOS- you did not upset me with what I deal with on a daily basis with the husbamd nothing any of you dear friends could get me upset I was just trying to give you ideas because I know what it is to deal with the potty chair bucket. Also the place I go to get my hair done has a womem- a hairdresser who on hwe own goes into a lady's home who can not get and maybe someone in a salon near you would do- everyone in our area are trying to earn extra money now-take care feiend.

pintos, i know in our city the local nursing home has a salon in it, i'm sure if you live in a big or small city but i would start in a place like that i'm sure the salons in your area could point you in the right direction. Your a wonderful daughter for caring ..

hey everyone, I have a question my Mom desperately needs her hair done, but cannot withstand a trip to the salon and setting there for hours. Is there any way of finding out if someone might come to your home and do her hair? if anyone has any info for me I would deaply appreciate it. Thanks pintos

Thanks pinto. Yes I know what you are saying but no, I haven't heard of Sundowners, that's a new one for me. My mom's doctor did testing on her and he is the one who diagnosed her with Alzheimers so I just took him at his word, but I will google Sundowners Syndrome and check it out. Thanks for your help as well. everyone on this site has been so nice and helpful.

Hi Sandi, have you heard of sundowners syndrome well neither had I until my Husband told me about it last night. Someone from his work told him about it his wife is a nurse. Well its a form of dementia and alzheimers it usually starts at night hince the word sundowners, I believe my Mom is experiencing this. I got her Doctor to order test next week to see if she has Dementia, just google Sundowners Syndrome and there is alot of info on the subject maybe it could help you or someone else. I know its helped me alot! I too have the same problem with my Mom and boy can she get nasty and become a B! I totally understand she will be calm one minute then abusive the next screaming and saying hateful things. I can ignore it for awhile but when she keeps going on I let her get to me then I will say something that I later regret because I realize she doesnt know what she is doing its not her saying those things but the disease taking over. I am the only sibling to caring for my parents and there is 3 more. My Brother comes up from Arizona maybe a couple weekends a month but he usually only comes for one reason to get money from them. I recently got power of atterney becase they cannot do their banking or bills so thats my job as well so now my Brother has to ask me and I know that kills him but thats to bad. I am trying too save money for them because they have none, and we dont know when something is going to happen. So they are going to need that savings, and I cant make them understand that. Cant Afford to live

Neonwocky, Thanks for the input. Yes, I was told that my mom accused one of my nephews of either taking money from her or asking her for some and my brother told me that it wasn't true. I didn't bring the subject up to her because I have brought up other things to her that I had heard and she swears that she didn't say them or that if she did, she doesn't remember saying them. Luckily, she has never accused me of anything like that yet. She keeps trying to give me money or buy me things to repay me for doing for her, but I refuse it because I don't want my sibs to think I'm taking advantage of her and I don't want her to misconstrue her actions and then later blame me for stealing either. My sisters and brothers know I would never take advantage of my mom so that I'm thankful for. We have always been a close family, but some of them just act too busy when it comes to issues with my mom.
My mom has been faithfully going to church for a very long time so when she does do something out of character, I kind of remind her that it's not a very christian way to act. I don't exactly say it in that term but so far I have gotten my point across without hurting her feelings too much. Sometimes she will say or do something and I lovingly make a joke about it and then we usually move on to something else. My mom was very active and dependent all her life and I never thought she would ever slow down, but most of this has happened in the past 5 years or so. Her mom lived to be 91 I think, so I'm not sure how long we will have her and so I spend as much time with her that I can. I read that people with Alzheimers usually die within about 7 years of diagnoses or so. Well like you, I think that varies by case.
It is good to know I have a place to come to when things do get too much for me. I have one sister that goes to my mom's on Saturdays and does her hair and nails and gets her out for a while so it's not completely overwhelming for me, but you'd think with 9 siblings, 7 living close by, that it wouldn't all be dumped on me, but like I said, that's not really the case. I just feel sorry for those on here who have no help at all and I feel I'm being a little selfish after hearing what they are dealing with. I could just relate to a lot of their stories, especially the stories about the bowel movement conversations. LOL
Thanks again. :)

Hi Sandi, I took care of my mother in law who had alzheimers and yes it will get worse, and yes it is the disease, It brings the worst out in most patients unless they have always been blissful, not too many people I know like that. You by any chance haven't lived in GA have you? Sounds like a Sandi I knew here she moved to Ohio. Anyway I know it hurts and there is only so much you can do about it. Try not to change the subject too much, we were accused of stealing money, underwear you name it I was a dirty bitch, I never fed her and those things weren't true my husband was on the road all the time so he didn't see too much of his mother and when he would come in I would make him stay with her so I could get out a little. I always took her to have her hair done and her nails done and let her "boyfriend" come for a visit and stay a week, take them out somewhere and make sure he was treated like gold. It is so hard to deal with alzheimers/dementia. I guess the stage depends on how old she was when it was diagnosed. I've know people in their sixties to have it and live a lot of years. I also took care of my dad for six months than he died it will be two years in may now I am taking care of my mother and thats a whole nother issue. I hope I have helped answer your question and know there are alot of us here who care or we wouldn't be care givers, sometimes we vent sometimes we try to help by discussing our own experiences but than each patient is different. and than again maybe not. Its really hard to put your finger on anything specific. Just be kind and know you are loved and carves some space out for you I try but seems like everytime I do it gets messed up and thats getting real old real quick. take care Neonwocky

Today is my first time to this site. I found it accidently and feel so blessed to have found it. I won't go into a lot about my story because it's so much like a lot of yours, but possibly not quite as bad. I am my mom's caregiver, even though she is still living on her own. I'm from a family with 10 kids but because they all have "jobs" the responsibility some how fell on me. I love my mom so I would do almost anything for her, but I also have been raising 2 grandkids for the past 7 or more years, which my other siblings don't do, so I wouldn't exactly say I don't have a job. Mine just doesn't come with a paycheck.
My mom has Alzheimers and when she was told she couldn't drive anymore, that became my fault. My younger brother called a family meeting about putting my mom in assisted living and when she found out about it, from a sister-in-law, who has a big mouth, she was mad and of course mom thought this was my idea as well. She went from being the loving mother I always knew to a monster, cutting me down with sharp words every chance she could. It hurt me so much to see her this way after all I had been doing for her. Everyone kept telling me it wasn't her but the disease talking. Well it didn't matter to me who did the talking, it hurt. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep until I made myself sick. I went to my doctor and after talking to him about everything that was going on he said considering everything I was going through, it was no wonder I was sick. He said a lot of it was brought on by stress. Well he put me on Zoloft and it really has helped. I don't feel the guilt as much and I have learned not to be confrontational with my mom. It has helped our relationship enormously, but it wasn't just me fixing me. I had to take control of the situation and not let my mom do what she was doing. I felt weird telling my mom to stop, but I did. She said she didn't realize she was doing it and she may have forgot she did, but either way I said it would stop. So from then on I remind her if she even starts to get out of sorts or I change the subject real quick. I* have found it has helped a lot.
My mom is 81 so I don't really know what stage she is in with her disease so if anyone else can tell me if this is going to get ugly again, please tell me.
I am so thankful I stumbled upon this site. You all seem like a bunch of very caring ladies.
Sandi

thanks Baffled, I will try that!

Marjoriebr, when we see the suffering and lack of any quality of life, we often wish they would/could choose the light, and rest in peace. From what you describe, it will happen with your mother, probably before long. People who haven't been in your position don't understand. People on this site do. Please keep coming back to talk.

My mom and dad bother suffered for years, but five months after Dad let go, Mom did. And thank God, she did. She was more than ready. I feel their (healthy) spirits with me daily.
Carol

Marjoriebr you are doing right thats what I did for my Dad he broke his hip had to have it replaced three times than had to have it removed because of MRSA than had a massive stroke I prepared him arranged his funeral, lovely military, can't hear taps without breaking down, 21 gun salute the whole shabang. He would have been very proud, now its mother and I think her problem outside of the drama queen mememe syndrome is dementia can't seem to think logically at all have to tell her every little thing like make your list on what you want from the store, she won't go anywhere never did, getting bigger and bigger, doesn't listen to doctor she knows it all and knows nothing. its a shame but it is what it is. Good luck and God Bless it will be worth it in the end. Neonwocky

Hi Roxie,

I just joined this community a few minutes ago and I read your message. I took a deep breath and felt hopeful. I am dealing with the same issue. Mother was independent and now she is like a little wet bird in bed. She fell and broke her hip in Sept. and has not recovered. It has been 6 months now. I feel such a sense of obligation and as you mentioned, very few people see it. I too am an only child so this is on my shoulders. She lived in Puerto Rico all her life and I brought her to live with in the states since this is where I've lived for 33 years and my children and their father are here too. My biggest concern is money as I lost my full-time teaching job in May last year and has not been able to get another one. I do part-time work and it helps with expenses. Mother's income is what is keeping us going and I am grateful. I understand your situation a lot and I also believe at when all is over, we will feel so fulfilled because she did this. But going through right now is scary at times. I already did the funeral arrangements for her, maybe in the back of my mind and I am trying to help her choose the white light and go on to rest in peace.

Thank you ladies!!

I do this with work and try at home to. When it is said and done it is done, forget it go to sleep try not to think about it if you have to try to figure out a solution if there is no solution than you can't do anything about it put it in the folder in your brain that says I'll remember this another day or the Scarlett O'Hara file, I'll think about that tomorrow. neon

Brill, none of us are perfect humans, we all get frustrated, depressed, and hurt. We just have to find a way through it and get ourselves ready for the next day. Self preservation is a wonderful thing when done with the right attitude. Just hang in there, decide what is important and what isn't and you'll be A-Alright.

baffeled...you are right. I am new to this...and still learning how to cope. I actuallt came to this revelation last night after posting.
So I guess God is watching and whispering advice to me... because you confirmed it.
I am not trying to be mean ....I am just tired, frustrated, and I also have a few problems with pmdd( depression that comes on during pms) so this week is a tough one.
I usually deal better with things...and do let things slide.

And I pray that words stop hurting so much, because when they come from a person with the personality of " MADEA" and Fred Sanford" rolled up together...they not only hurt, but they paralyze ! Then , youre told your lying...I never said that.

Well thank you all for the encouragement I think my wisdome wouldn't fill a thimble but so glad I can be of help. Kinda ticked off at mine this morning I never met someone who knows so much can't do crap or anything for anyone else me me me me, all the time and gets huffy if she don't get her way and guess what it ain't happening in my house at least not until she can't do for herself. Get out of my recliner and move. Geez Louise. NPD is Narcassitic Personaility Disorder I just described it above LOL.

I hope you all have a blessed day and I get over my grump I hate it when I get like this that means I give her my power she just don't know it. and don't want her to know it I just tell it like it is, try to use common sense and yes I have a lot of hutzpa too much for a tiny woman like me but size don't mean nothing did you hear that spammers??? LOL