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What is a behavioral interview? Behavioral based interviewing is interviewing based on discovering how the interviewee acted in specific employment-related situations. The logic is that how you behaved in the past will predict how you will behave in the future i.e. past performance predicts future performance.

Traditional Interview vs. Behavioral Interview

In a traditional interview, you will be asked a series of questions which typically have straight forward answers like "What are your strengths and weaknesses?" or "What major challenges and problems did you face? How did you handle them?" or "Describe a typical work week."

In a behavioral interview, an employer has decided what skills are needed in the person they hire and will ask questions to find out if the candidate has those skills. Instead of asking how you would behave, they will ask how you did behave. The interviewer will want to know how you handled a situation, instead of what you might do in the future.
Questions in a Behavioral Interview

Behavioral interview questions will be more pointed, more probing and more specific than traditional interview questions:

# Give an example of an occasion when you used logic to solve a problem.
# Give an example of a goal you reached and tell me how you achieved it.
# Describe a decision you made that was unpopular and how you handled implementing it.
# Have you gone above and beyond the call of duty? If so, how?
# What do you do when your schedule is interrupted? Give an example of how you handle it.
# Have you had to convince a team to work on a project they weren't thrilled about? How did you do it?
# Have you handled a difficult situation with a co-worker? How?
# Tell me about how you worked effectively under pressure.

Follow-up questions will also be detailed. You may be asked what you did, what you said, how you reacted or how you felt.
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Beyond,
I am currently a paid in home caregiver. I know what you mean about working with people who give us a bad name. I quit at a nursing home because of the way things were being done. Could not be a part of that.
One suggestion is, be very clear about what you want, need and expect. You have the right to ask ANY question you want to. If the person is getting uncomfortable or edgy, send them down the road. Make sure they have professional references. Not just personal ones. Family references also.( Family that they worked for in the past.) You can run a background check for a few dollars on the Internet.
The most important thing is follow your gut. If you are uncomfortable in any way do not hire this person. Let them know this is a trial period. Nothing is written in stone.
I often think about my own situation. I was hired simply on the basis of a recommendation of a family friend (their family) and it was 3 weeks before I heard from anyone. Thank God I am honest, trustworthy and have my clients best interest at heart.
My problem is unique in the sense that I can not get the family to participate. What a crazy world we live in.
You will be in my prayers to find the right person, because there are very good caregivers out there, but sometimes hard to find. And just because they are from an agency does not mean they are right for the job.You can call your BBB and see if there have been any complaints against an agency you may be thinking about contacting.
Make a list of the questions you have, and a list of things you want and need done. A Lot of times, the sign of a good one is when they do more than was asked of them. Good Luck and prayers for you. Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with.
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Jazzy1 Thanks for the idea of the Inhome Support Care Grant. I have a friend who is caring for her mom in her home, and I think she would appreciate some help. I can not be of help, as I live 5 hours away.
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beyond, i wouldn't suggest you take care of him full time. if va will help 4 hrs. a day do it. 24 hrs a day is too much for anyone. as time goes by he will require 24 hrs of help get someone now. emotionally its hard taking care of a loved one you watch them decline over time. you need time to take of yourself if only 4 hrs. a day. i wish i had that right now. i am my grannys caregiver but my husband has to care for me i mean the groceries, med, pick our kids up from school sometimes he has to take off of work early because i can't leave the house. granny can't get up and down by herself.(TO the port o pot) she can't even do the leg rest on her chair so i have to run constantly so she don't wet herself. GET HELP NOW
you'll have to pick the sitter carefully as you already know.
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I do not know about your father's benefits but as far as in home care he has to be bed ridden in order for them to pay. through his insurance if he he receiving retirement there is something called aid and attendance but it only pays out of his retirement plus 271.00. I hope this helps. You have to get your doctor to declare him incompetent and that's no problem if he has dementia. Your Va spokesperson should be able to help you with this. My mother in law gets it through surviving spouse. You sound like you are overwrought, sometimes we need to step back and catch our second wind. You have the right to interview and to talk to people or family this person works for. I would if I had to hire outside help. I watched everything Mom-in-law therapist did with her and if I thought it was to much or not enough or they did handle it right. I spoke up. These people that don't do their job right need to be report. We are these family members protectors. Trust me I am only a daughter-in-law and I have taken on my husbands whole family to protect this woman and her rights and her health her everything.
Hope this helps some.
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It's totally different caring for your dad than a stranger - even a stranger who turns into a friend. You are smart to recognize that.

I've had other professional caregivers tell me they "know too much," and find it hard to let go and let others care for their own family, but they can't do it either. It's a true catch 22. Either way is tough.

Getting help is a good answer. Can you find an agency where you know some people? Getting references from satisfied family members is probably your best chance at finding some peace with this. Then, you will have to make yourself let go. But you'll also want to do what we all need to do, and that is be aware. Your problem, which you recognize, is being aware without being paranoid. I'm not saying it will be easy, but talking to people you know (in the field) and getting some recommendations may ease your mind.

Good luck with this tough issue and please let us know how you are doing.
Carol
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Hi-I was wondering-is there anyone here who works as a caregiver and also takes care of a loved one? I have been an in-home caregiver for 15 years, and within the last 3 years or so, I have had to do more and more for my aging father. I am still working, and lately, with my father currently staying with me, I have been coming home from work and then dealing with him. He's not as bad off as some of the stories I've read, but he is starting to lose his battle with dementia.
I have been considering getting at least some 4 hr daily help. He is with the VA and I believe that they will cover that much care. I guess one of MY problems is-is that I've worked side by side over the years with some AWFUL- and I mean AWFUL caregivers (ones that steal, one's that are lazy, do not feed, bathe or keep the client clean--hell, one even gave the client a live lighter after being repeatedly told not to, and the client set herself on fire!). My biggest fear is dealing with someone like that. I don't want to have this bitchy attitude right from the get-go. Any advice on dealing with these feelings? Yes, some may suggest I take care of my father full time. I also have issues/feelings about that. Like I can handle just so much when dealing with a loved one. It's different somehow to go into a strangers home and care for someone you don't know. With my father, I have known him all my life, an intelligent man who always had an answer for every problem, who could fix anything, who isn't this person that he is slowly becoming--Am I making any sense to anyone.....
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Thanks KB, I really needed to hear that, because I so desparately want to make them understand, I know you are right, I will continue to assist my dad because I love him, however I have scheduled two trips this year and I am going to go and do what I want on them... FYI I am one of those people who love almost everything, so when I am with others (mostly family) not many friends left... I usually do what they all want to do, i am so excited to get out and away... but this year I have already started putting things back in the hands of others... so thank you again for No where is it written, that we HAVE to do this
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Breakdown, for everything that you do, there shouldnt be any guilt. Easier said than done right? I just had this discussion with my mother this afternoon. I asked myself and her "why should i feel guilty?" Neither one of us could come up with an answer. I mean an honest answer. It's not selfish to want or need to get away for a little bit. We get burnt out. We need that time for ourselves to rejuvenate. The person we care for benefits also from it. My mom and I sat in the car when we got home for over an hour and I told her plain and simple. I'm tired. I yell and get upset because this is hard. And it makes it harder when I feel like I can't take care of myself. She said it's not guilt, that I just want to stick her in a home and be done with it. Breakdown, we all know, that if that was true, it would be done already wouldn't it? What do we need to feel guilty over??

I'm finding that siblings is my second worst enemy next to myself. If they dont contribute to the care, then they have no clue what it is like. I told myself to forgive my brother for the way he's been treating me for he doesn't know what it's like. But I can't, because how dare he treat me this way when he doesn't know what it's like. If you say you are done, Breakdown. Then be done. No matter what you say to your siblings, they won't understand. So it's like beating your head against a brick wall. We know that gets us no where.

No where is it written, that we HAVE to do this.
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Hi, I am new to the site but have am now not feeling so alone about my situation, I am in my 40's and it seems I have been in this grief and sense of loss deal for the past 6 years. I am the youngest of nine, single mom of two and in a real sad state. For six years my I have been dealing with raising my kids, my sister was ill and then her husband pasted, six months after he pasted she pasted, then the next year my mom was ill, diagnosed with a terminal disease, she pasted three years ago, and I have been assisting my father with his health (dementia) and other everyday issues, started my own business and still find myself having to be there for the rest of the family… I have finally gotten angry and decided it is time to take care of me. I want a life… Seems everyone thinks I am feeling sorry for myself and that my very well be the case, but I don’t care anymore. I feel like I have sacrificed enough. I will not abandon my father, but he is the primary care taker of my disabled brother, I have informed everyone when dad passes I am done. So the remaining 6 siblings will need to step up… I am not one to walk away from someone in need, but I am so down I feel it is the only way to survive… Here’s the clincher… even though I have made this decision… I feel guilty… I know there has to be a solution and have even done some research to the fact. But no one else wants to make any changes… I know they expect me to take care of my brother, but I am thinking of moving out of state just to keep my sanity… any suggestions on how to deal with family that disregards my feelings, and refuses to help… oh by the way I know I brought most of this on myself…as to deal with the siblings is more stressful than doing it myself… just feel beat down and having a hard time picking myself up again… I even feel guilty for doing something for myself.
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Hi All,

The more stories I read, I'm so blown away!!! I've only been taking care of my mom for a little over two months and it was over my head. I have very little or no help from my siblings. So I contacted my local Caregiver Resource Group and received a Grant for Inhome Suppport Care. I couln't do it by myself anymore. My hat is off to you ladies!!! But please, please it's now time to take care of yourself. If you're at the point of dire straits... if your parent is able to live in assisted living it's time!!! You've done your best! I'm not judging but I do believe when your health starts to suffer it's time to do the ultimate. If your health goes down, you want be of help to anyone including yourself, husband and/or children.

The facilitor of my caregiver support said "Caregivers are Angels of Society".
How true it is!!!

There are a few of you that I'm going to say an extra prayer before you health deteriorates any further!!!

Take care of yourselves "Angels"

-Jazzy
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cat thanks for your words. she is on detrol la a bladder medicine cause she was having to go more often. can't win for losing. she cannot tolerate any plug in or any air freshners she says they irritate her and she is allergic she wouldn't even keep a poinsettia someone gave her for christmas she is afraid of plants and flowers. but she always used lysol my entire 41 years of life. thanks for being here and also for the hugs i send them to you also.
Dare
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hi dare,

if she is taking 30 minutes to pee, you might consider taking a urine sample to the doctor. That is not normal and could be a bladder infection which is serious in older people, or indication of another problem.

as far as the smell goes - there are plenty of products you can buy online that can remain in the bathroom without spraying. Hope you give yourself a break soon. It sounds as if you have hit the limit of your endurance....time for cyberhugs from your peers on this board & taking a break outside.
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hey everybody, wish i had positive attitude today. I need to let it all out i am tired, tired, tired, mostly mentally. granny chair bound, except for the two steps to the porta pot. calls me for little things all day even at night when she has a sitter at night. she lives in an added part to my house, i go fix her food guess what she has to pee how long does that take 30 minutes i swear i think she does this on purpose she knows i come at the same time everyday. now she is so weak she can't do the leg rest on her chair, she blames the chair but i don't have any trouble. gave her a foot stool she hates it of course. i asked her if she wanted a remote control lift chair. of course she don't bought other recliners in the past she dont like any thing new. well i can't keep buying and exchanging recliners. i can't even leave the house until 7pm not alot of stores open with recliners. this is only a small part the air the heat i am hot i am cold come see what it is set on can you wash my eyeglasses, spray my hair empty the porta pot and she don't even spray lysol (had to buy s pecial small can so she could hold) go over the stink gags me sorry for the bitching i am just tired. no day help at all.
bye Dare
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Neon- thank you actually my back is getting better-less pain and if the next xray is not better I will have the proceedure and we will have an aide come in more for the first few days-thank you for caring about me
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Austin, listen to yourself, you are so encouraging to everyone, how about you, listen to your doctor please, I know you love your husband but he will have to go to the NH or whoever is going to take care of him when you have the surgery can continue and help you out to don't let your health go to hell in a hand basket because eventually you will have a life to live. Come on you can do it. If you die who is going to take care of your husband? Well, the same people can do it right now. I am praying for us all I feel like tiny tim god bless us everyone
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Gail-my heart goes out to you- you do have too much to deal with-would you be able to get a wound care nurse or a colostomy expert if they even have them any more maybe a home health agency or visiting nurse service could get someone to help-just tell them you want to learn- I am not putting you down or critizing you in any way- I was an LPN and colostomys are very difficult esp. temp ones- sometimes a different product is more succesful than another- I can not imagine you deal with it 24/7 and husbands are harder on their wives than anyone else generally. IT really seems he needs a nursing home or al least rehab short term- there comes a time that things are too much for us to handle- would they changes the times that you get help so some nights you could get a nights sleep- I can take a lot on days but distrub my nights and I become a lunitic. Please come here as often as you are able- we all care about you.
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Hi Gail,
Welcome. You've got a lot to handle and we welcome you to join us. It helps a lot to know you aren't alone. I hope you can find a way to get more help and get out on your own some. This is too much for anyone.
Carol
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gail,
Welcome to this sight. My heart hurts for the load you are carrying. Your love for your husband speaks volumes about you. I don't think "tired" even begins to cover what you must be feeling.
This sight is a safe place to say what's on your mind and how you feel. You will receive alot of support. I don't think any of us get to this sight by accident.
You are not alone. You have alot to deal with, but please take time to let us know how you are. You are in my prayers. God Bless
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GAIL HONEY.. YOU HAVE A LIFETIME COMMITMENT THERE SWEET LADY. WE ALL FULLY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL ONLY YOU SEEM TO HAVE IT WORSE THAN MOST OF US..
YOU WILL FIND VERY LOVING AND CARING PEOPLE ON THIS SITE. NO ONE JUDGES YOU FOR ANYTHING YOU FEEL OR SAY. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE.. DONE THAT...
YOU NEED A PLACE JUST FOR YOURSELF AND THIS IS IT SO USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE PLEASE.
GOD BLESS YOU HONEY.. AND HANG IN THERE.. GOD PROMISES THAT THIS TO SHALL END... A BIG HUG FOR YOU KNOWING WE ALL NEED THEM.. JUDI
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Hi, I'm new to this site. Usually don't have time to sit at the computer, or won't take the time. Husband is asleep. He is totally disabled from a fall at work in 1996. He is paraplegic and then in 2004, his legs and ankles got wounds from knocking them on his wheelchair as he got into and out of bed or into the shower and he got a bone disease causing him to have both legs amputated above the knee. He has fought pressure sores on his bottom since he fell and now we are finding they weren't pressure sores. He's been totally in a special bed here at home since last May. He just had a surgery last Thursday and is still totally in bed until the surgery heals, if it does. Workers Comp pays me to tend to him, but they are nasty folks. The doctor ordered 7 hours per day care and they have been paying it, but yesterday I got something like a time card that I have to fill out every time I do something for him. He has a colostomy that does not work right, it blows off his belly at times causing a mess. It was done as a temporary thing so after the wounds healed he could have it reversed, but he still has regular bouts where his stool comes out where ours does and makes a horrible mess. And it's not 9-5 that these things happen. It's all times during the day and night. He has bladder issues, heart issues and anything else you can think of. He's in and out of the hospital regularly and I'm tired. I pray each day that I live long enough to see my two elderly dogs gone, and that I live longer that Bert because I don't want my children to have to deal with all of this. And he does not want to go to a nursing home. I think he would be dead in six months if he had to go to one. He would simply depress himself to die. We have been married 33 years. I think about getting another job, but he does not want home nursing and I think more than that, since he needs round the clock care, I believe he thinks they would put him in a nursing home. I get out to the grocery once a week or every other week and I've seen two of my granddaughters dance recitals since May. I'm as stuck in this house as he is. The kids and grandbabies come regular and stay the night from time to time so he gets to see them and I think it's what keeps him going. He says he's going to live long enough for all of them to remember him when he's gone. The youngest one is three. Not sure how to end this pity party, but would love to belong to your group. Thanks for listening, or reading. gail
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"MY BROTHER WATCHES MOM'S CHECKING ACCOUNT VERY CAREFULLY TO MAKE SURE THAT I DO NOT USE ANY OF HER MONEY FOR MY PERSONAL THINGS. I TOLD HIM I COULD LEGALLY BE CHARGING HER FOR HER CARE... HE SAID IT'S HIS MONEY TOO.. OMG.. SHOULD I SHOOT HIM NOW OR WAIT TILL MOM IS GONE.. LOL..."

Pudin, isn't it nice how a sibling wants their inheritence protected but sees nothing wrong with letting others do all that free work? Hang in there, do what is right, and you'll enjoy your inheritence far more than he will. I've often wondered if the one sitting back doing all that checking on others if they wouldn't be the very ones to clip mom's checking account for their own personal use if they thought they could get away with it. Maybe your brother is judging you by what he would do. :)
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FOLKS.. YOUR LUCKY YOU CAN AT LEAST GET OUT TO WAL-MART WITH YOUR PARENT. I AM STUCK IN MY HOUSE 24/7 WITH MY MOM. MOST TIMES I AM OK.. BUT THERE ARE DAYS LIKE YESTERDAY I WALKED AROUND WITH A CLOUD OVER MY HEAD AND CRIED LIKE A BABY FOR ABOUT A HALF HOUR.
MY DAYS RUN INTO ONE ANOTHER.. I GOTTA GO PEE.. AGAIN... CAN I HAVE SOME OLIVES?.. CAN I HAVE A HOT CUP OF COFFEE?.. I DON'T LIKE THIS AND IM NOT GONNA EAT IT!.... WHERE IS MY MONEY?....I'M SORRY IF I ASKED YOU THIS BEFORE, BUT CAN I HAVE SOME OLIVES AND HOT COFFEE.........IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON SO MUCH SO THAT THERE ARE TIMES I WANT TO SCREAM AT HER AND SAY PLEASE........JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR AWHILE!
I KNOW WE ALL FEEL THIS WAY AT TIMES.. BUT I JUST HAD TO VENT.....I LOVE MY MOM WITH MY ENTIRE BEING, BUT THIS IS THE HARDEST JOB I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. SHE HAS BEEN WITH ME GOING ON 4 YEARS NOW AND IS IN THE LAST STAGES OF CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE. WE HAVE HOSPICE COMING TO THE HOUSE TWICE A WEEK FOR THE NURSE AND TWICE A WEEK FOR THE NURSE AID TO BATHE HER. THAT AT LEAST GIVES ME TIME TO TAKE A SHOWER AND WASH MY HAIR TWICE A WEEK TO.
MOST TIMES I CAN REMAIN VERY UPBEAT.. BUT BOY THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS HAVE BEEN A BUGGER FOR ME....I GUESS I JUST NEED TO REGROUP AND GET ON WITH THE CARE I PROMISED TO HER AND DEAL WITH IT.
THE ANGER I HAVE FOR MY ONLY SIBLING (BROTHER) FOR NOT HELPING ME AT ALL AND MY NIECES AND HIS GRANDKIDS AT TIMES ARE OVER WHELMING... BUT THANK GOD I AM ABLE TO LET IT GO MOST TIMES. MY BROTHER WATCHES MOM'S CHECKING ACCOUNT VERY CAREFULLY TO MAKE SURE THAT I DO NOT USE ANY OF HER MONEY FOR MY PERSONAL THINGS. I TOLD HIM I COULD LEGALLY BE CHARGING HER FOR HER CARE... HE SAID IT'S HIS MONEY TOO.. OMG.. SHOULD I SHOOT HIM NOW OR WAIT TILL MOM IS GONE.. LOL...
I SURE HOPE GOD HAS A SPECIAL PLACE FOR US ALL SOME DAY CUZ THE WAY I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW I WILL NEED YEARS TO RECOUPERATE FROM THIS.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL FOR ALL THE GOOD WORK YOU ARE DOING
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My dad would always insist we take his old truck instead of my car for Dr.s visits, ect. My car would have been easier for him to get in and out of but noooooo. He had one of my nephews build him a step stool. Now my dad was 6'1" and even at 98 years old weighed about 180.
So, getting him out of the wheelchair, onto the stool and into the truck was always an ordeal.But the fun part would come when we got to the Dr.s office.
I would unload the wheelchair, the stool and get everything in position. Invariably, every time I would be helping him onto the stool, he would start hollering"You're hurting me. Go slower. Pick up my leg", ect.
The first time he did this I was mortified! People were staring, had their cell phones out ready to call 911 for elder abuse ! The more I tried to calm him down the louder and more irate he would get.
Needless to say that was one lesson on how to take care of myself. Next time, and all other times, same scene. I would just look at people, smile and shrug my shoulders.
If no one was around when we pulled up to get out, he was as calm as can be! Go figure.
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I used to transport my mother in a wheel chair, with a walker hung sideways on the handles, so she could use that to support herself to get out of the chair and use a bathroom, etc. I chuckled (with sympathy and recollection of the misery, physical pain - I too have arthritis - and absurdity of the spectacle we presented) with mindingmom, because of the memories her description brought back. We couldn't get through aisles or doorways without a ruckus, and even knocked into another poor soul in a wheel chair. It was a nightmare.
Carol
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wow walmart can I relate to that but I look forward to it cuz it gives me at least a couple of hours of not thinking about home life I love walmart
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Mindingmom..............oh how I know the Wal-Mart shuffle as I call it. My mom walks, but with a shopping cart. I say walk, maybe for her, but for me it is a shuffle. Shopping at Wal-Mart is a three hour trip. It can be frustrating! I finally figured out why my back aches after the Wal-Mart shuffle.

I think it was Mother Theresa who said something like, "God only gives us as much as we can take, but Lord, don't have so much confidence in me!"
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Hi all..
I need to vent. It always feels so good to come on this site and vent and no one judges me. Sometimes I feel like I will burn in hell for the way I think.

My 91 yr old mother can be so difficult at times. I take her to day care 3 times a week and on those 3 days she gives me a hard time. I hear excuses like .."I don't have to go so early...I don't feel good.....my stomach bothers me....you can pick me up early" and so on and so on. But...when the days come that she don't have to go she is up early and nothing bothers her. I also have a husband who has very bad COPD and on oxygen and I feel bad that we don't spend time together. He watches TV in the bedroom at night by himself because when mom is in the living room she keeps reading every word on the screen out loud. She stays up until 10 or 11 pm if I let her. I try to tell her to go to bed early so she can get up early and not be so tired all the time. When we don't go to day care she just sits around...sleeps...and won't even get dressed. I hate seeing this.

Mom wants me to take her out everyday and shop. I just can't do that. Here is an example: We were in Wal-mart...mom can't walk without a walker, but when I go for long shopping tours I use a small transport wheelchair. So I put her in the chair, because she don't know how to operate a mobile one, at the same time I am suffering with arthritis in my foot limping all over the place and then at the same time I am pulling a shopping wagon. So here we are knocking down displays..people running to us and me getting so embarrassed. Finally I said..."That's it we are going home." Well mom looks at me and says.."Why there is nothing wrong with you!"

She also has dementia...I can't even carry on a conversation. Sometimes I'm sorry I start one.

OK...thanks for listening to me...I guess today is not a good day for me..I am so stressed out.

Neonwock I am just starting to read Rick Warren's book on The Purpose Driven Life. I need to know what on earth am I here for...I know it will be a big help.
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neonwocky that sounds like a great idea,something I would never think of hope you all have a good time let us know how it goes
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Austin you go girl, you're getting there. I am thinking about having a valentines party, everyone give cards just buy the kids cards like in school, all the food is red and white, some kinda little game with door prizes, or red carnations to all the men not the ladies this time and a little tea cup arrangement everyone takes a number who ever has the number I pick gets the arrangement mostly for the elderly and include my mom so it will be something different to look at. Will let you know what I come up with if you are interested. Just a little circle of friends will get on pc and snoop around come up with something maybe even have construction paper and have a prize for whoever comes up with the best homemade valentine or just a craft with glue sticks just like the kids you all got me thinking of doing kid stuff now should be fun take them back a few years eh?
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