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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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It would be nice if there was a place that said when you joined and who was the original poster. Maybe it already does somewhere and I just can't see it as I use my phone only?
You mean on the main forum Questions & Discussions page? They used to include the name of the OP but that got dropped somewhere along the way. I agree it would be easier to know before opening a thread because there are some people on the forum whose problems I can't relate to. Generally you can figure that any thread that has more than a few dozen answers/comments has little to do with the original question though.
AgingCare is asking to put suggestions for the new site on a thread in the discussion section. Go for it lostinthemix. They say the new site will be geared towards smart phone users....Nope, I use my phone too and find it's a friggin hot mess. I'm not going to the new site. I know I know, everyone will be sooooo disappointed!😆
Lost, sometimes you can tell if someone has been on the forum for quite some time. Just click on the screen name and see the numbers below their names. If you see 1 or 2 answers then you know the poster is brand new. If you see several thousand answers, then you know the person has been on Aging Care for quite some time.
I agree, I wish Aging Care would go back to indicating who wrote the question. There should be room right at the end of the question.
I have trouble finding responses to my questions. I go to my activity but I only see the question I asked. Also if someone responds to a comment I make there’s no notification. The new forum I have to push the top left button each time I turn the page. It’s not difficult just a hassle. I didn’t know the two are separate. I guess o just read whichever comes up initially lol. What have I been missing?
Chark, the same material is on the older site and on the brand new site, the only difference is the format. I am currently still using the older site as that is what I have been using to for a number of years. For me, the new format makes me seasick :((
Chark, are you not checking your news feed? The latest response to any thread you are following will be there, but you will need to go in to each individual thread to see all of the comments.
I have already, today, had to explain to my landlord's agent why the television engineers are coming to fiddle about with the aerial later this week. I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about, I don't know whether she noticed or not.
And now smart phones and news feeds and apps and... oh God I wish I was dead.
I would love to see more unique questions but I guess this forum runs on cycles just like anything else in life. What I asked the first time I posted on here some four or so years ago probably wasn't unique at the time either.
I'm surprised at how little has been resolved in my own mind when I think back over my time caregiving. I relive some of the more difficult moments still and still get that ache in my gut thinking about them.
I would like to think with time comes wisdom and acceptance but I still live with the same regrets about how I handled certain aspects of my Mom's care even though I did the best I could at the time.
I often wonder how I'll think about these same things when I'm old and needing somebody or someplace to look after me. My husband's parents are just starting to need assistance and he comments to me quite often that he can't understand the heartache I went through. He told me once that the love I felt for my Mom is foreign to him and he's never loved like that. Of course, I said the typical wife thing "what, you don't love me?" But, I know deep down inside that he doesn't love me with that unselfish, I'd do anything for you love and I'm not even really expecting him to one day be my knight in shining armor. Romeo and Juliet, we are not.
But, I'd really like to know the deep thoughts caregivers and former caregivers have about their own morbidity and how they think the people in their life will come through for them. What are you all expecting?
Sorry, don't mean to highjack this thread. Maybe answer the O P and throw out some thoughts at the same time if you don't mind.
CM, I was thinking about a similar issue, on a different level though, after watching part of a PBS program on what were known derogatorily here as Robber Barons. I don't defend them, but they did provide national services and products in critical areas: electricity, banking and finance, and more. Their aggressiveness, motivation, determination (and probably what would be considered unfair or manipulative tactics) did help industrialization and drive the US forward.
I'm especially fond of Tesla's and Edison's inventions (although from what I read he capitalized on Tesla's work) - I like having electric lights, and I especially like fans and central air. Both have raised our standard of living, as have trains, autos, banking and more.
Yet today the Robber Barons would probably include people like Zuckerberg, Bezos, maybe Jobs and Gates, although the latter two are far more technical people than the two former ones and easily arguably provided more to world infrastructure than the former.
But consider how many millions have jumped on the tech bandwagon, all the way from SmartPhones that cost more than a washing machine or refrigerator, or little robotic devices that give weather updates. How useful are these tech advances? They're not in the categories of advancing medical or infrastructure - those are developed by others not quite so famous (or infamous).
Sometimes when I'm asked why I won't buy a SmartPhone and I respond that I need the money for more critical things, like a dryer, a new frig, a car with a working defroster, food....they simply don't understand. One of the issues, I think, is the concept that one CAN have everything. Sacrifices aren't necessary as when I was growing up. You can have everything today - just charge it. And help make the Tech Barons richer.
So, as to your frustration, think of it this way: You're still independent, making your own decisions; you don't have to charge a SmartPhone repeatedly, using up more energy, and more importantly, you're not increasing your carbon footprint.
Back to the usefulness issue, I've yet to hear a realistic assessment of how a SmartPhone raises my standard of living. In fact, it would lower it b/c I would have to cut back on something just to afford the cost. I might have to skip a mortgage or utility payment, or, heaven forbid, sacrifice on food or gardening supplies. And chocolate would probably be the first thing to go, and we all know that chocolate is a major food group.
So, when I hear or read of someone feeling uncomfortable b/c of little or low tech literacy (other than computers), I am puzzled as to what I might be missing, as thus far I've seen little value in so much of the tech junk on the market.
And, best of all, I'm NOT increasing my carbon footprint.
Carbon footprint, or indeed rare and precious elements footprint, stomping all over the more frightening regions of the Democratic Republic of Congo among other less privileged corners of the globe.
I was of course exaggerating a little. I'm as fond of new toys as the next person, provided they come with a sensible instruction manual or - preferably - a customer advice line so you can ring up a real person and say "what, pray, is my Manual Tuning code, where am I supposed to find it, and how was I supposed to know that?"
What makes me twitch and clear my throat is hearing friends-and-relations wittering on about how they "need" their iPhones and tablets and how "everybody" does "everything" online now.
No, you really don't. No, they really don't.
Mind you. Where would I be without the internet and AC? Sucking my thumb and twirling my cowlick in a dark corner of the sitting room, that's where.
Sorry - I was responding to your "old before your time" post.
I confess to hijacking the thread, but just couldn't resist linking the robber barons to the tech barons and climbing again on my nontechnical soap box (made from an old orange crate).
Maybe it would be a good idea if Gershun starts a new thread; it's a good and worthy topic to discuss.
Back on topic - is anyone having trouble with the forum?
Pages load slowly, it's hard to get to my profile and messages, and occasionally the site freezes. I tried opening in another browser; same problem. I thought it was due to the holiday as typically that's when the little gremlins crawl out and wreak havoc, but the holiday is already over.
I haven't reported I yet as I still do get good responses most of the time.
Gershun, I know it must be hard answering the same questions over and over, but we must remember that we are not going through the same as everyone else.
I feel sick to my stomach every day. I know it has to do with my mil's care.
Pepsee, yes, words hurt, ESPECIALLY when you are looking for answers. I still feel lost, but I feel like I know the answer before I ask the question, I guess we are just trying to get other feedback to make sure we are not making a mistake.
I DO hope that EVERYONE has a great week...and we all get out alive. I would say and be well, but it is too late for me, but I hope you all are well.
GA there is a whole essay in there on models of entrepreneurship. I hope this won't make me unpopular with absolutely everybody...
I do not believe you have to be an arse to be successful. Or clever. Or a good leader. I do not take kindly to academics and journalists who, frankly, wouldn't know a day's work if it walked up and bit them seeing fit to take wealth creators to task for lack of social responsibility. *Especially* as the reason they tend to focus on the more colourful types is that it sells papers. The greater number of dull, constructive industrialists and bespectacled patent holders we never hear about. This our media are pleased to call 'investigative journalism.' By investigative, they mean 'the interesting bits.' I do not either think much to wealth creators who believe they have a licence to make an appalling mess of people's lives without either need or recompense.
Did you ever see - oh clever, I've forgotten the flipping name of it now - that film with wotsisname, Day Lewis, sigh... There Will Be Blood? About the oil magnate? I haven't, I'd like to, just wondering if it might fit in with your ponderings?
CM, just a quick comment. No, I haven't seen the Oil movie, and given the quality of Lewis' acting, I probably missed a good film. (I have seen Age of Innocence multiple times and sometimes luxuriate in thinking how much more realistic, less pompous, less restrictive and less condemning life is today than it was during that period of rigidly enforced social norms.
Most of what I've learned about the Robber Barons was through documentaries, of JP Morgan, Edison and Tesla, and at this moment I've forgotten which other ones.
There's also an excellent Fortune article with several pages of information on competitors in specific fields, including Gates and Jobs, Edison and Tesla, and I forgot who else right now. It was worthy of saving, which I've done. I think that might be good reading in connection with this thread.
But, the heat wave being in temporary abatement, I have no excuse not to get some work done. And though it's not a siren call, it's one I must heed.
CWillie, respond to the original poster and disregard my earlier question. I should have started my own thread with that one. I apologize to the O P for highjacking this thread.
I'm not on here as much as I used to, but i have been here a while. As such, I don't have much to say about the current version or the upcoming new version other than it is different. I can find it, read and respond to in on my desktop, my laptop or my smartphone, but I prefer my desktop with the big screen.
cmagnum, big screen user here, too. Mainly because my old flip phone isn't Internet ready. If it was, I would need to carry around a magnifying glass :P
Wow....what were we talking about here? I can’t keep track so I’ll just throw in my 2 cents worth. I’m not particularly high tech but I do believe my smart phone or laptop or desk top, (I do pretty much the same on all of them) îhas helped me stay moderately sane especially through this recent forced home stay I’ve been on the last couple months. It’s amazing I can learn about anything, I can research drugs and symptoms in depth, I watch videos of my old favorite rock bands, I take my phone with me in the garden and look up how to care for some of my plants. When I hear our president make a stupid statement that “everybody knows” I can find out what “everyone” thinks about it and the history of the issue at hand. Most of all, I’ve found real people, in all of you, with insights in this most demanding job I’m doing that have kept me going and not running away with the screaming Mimi’s and abandoning my poor old Mom, but you also helped me to bite my tongue when feeling angry and frustrated. I found my inner voice of compassion and a reminder of what I’m really wanting to do here and how I want it done and a focus on who I’m doing it for. I thank you All and no, I can’t live without my smart phone. I don’t know anybody’s phone numbers, I have every appointment, lists of all our medications, dates of every medical procedure we’ve had done, projected budgets, ‘to do’ lists that don’t get done, model numbers of our major appliances, ten gigs of music, shopping lists, books I’ve read, books I’m looking for, questions for the doctor, sizes we wear, birthdays I can’t miss, details about my dog, how to make origami, or favorite recipes, and on and on on. I mean it is an endless source of information that I am completely dependent upon. Like it or not. Thank you for being here. That’s my 2 cents worth. Charlotte
About the site: is there an index of questions so we don’t repeat ourselves? As for finding comments,there are often so many comments posted I can’t find my place within a conversation. Sorry. Charlotte
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I agree, I wish Aging Care would go back to indicating who wrote the question. There should be room right at the end of the question.
The new forum I have to push the top left button each time I turn the page. It’s not difficult just a hassle.
I didn’t know the two are separate. I guess o just read whichever comes up initially lol.
What have I been missing?
I do not understand. ANYthing.
I have already, today, had to explain to my landlord's agent why the television engineers are coming to fiddle about with the aerial later this week. I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about, I don't know whether she noticed or not.
And now smart phones and news feeds and apps and... oh God I wish I was dead.
I'm surprised at how little has been resolved in my own mind when I think back over my time caregiving. I relive some of the more difficult moments still and still get that ache in my gut thinking about them.
I would like to think with time comes wisdom and acceptance but I still live with the same regrets about how I handled certain aspects of my Mom's care even though I did the best I could at the time.
I often wonder how I'll think about these same things when I'm old and needing somebody or someplace to look after me. My husband's parents are just starting to need assistance and he comments to me quite often that he can't understand the heartache I went through. He told me once that the love I felt for my Mom is foreign to him and he's never loved like that. Of course, I said the typical wife thing "what, you don't love me?" But, I know deep down inside that he doesn't love me with that unselfish, I'd do anything for you love and I'm not even really expecting him to one day be my knight in shining armor. Romeo and Juliet, we are not.
But, I'd really like to know the deep thoughts caregivers and former caregivers have about their own morbidity and how they think the people in their life will come through for them. What are you all expecting?
Sorry, don't mean to highjack this thread. Maybe answer the O P and throw out some thoughts at the same time if you don't mind.
I'm especially fond of Tesla's and Edison's inventions (although from what I read he capitalized on Tesla's work) - I like having electric lights, and I especially like fans and central air. Both have raised our standard of living, as have trains, autos, banking and more.
Yet today the Robber Barons would probably include people like Zuckerberg, Bezos, maybe Jobs and Gates, although the latter two are far more technical people than the two former ones and easily arguably provided more to world infrastructure than the former.
But consider how many millions have jumped on the tech bandwagon, all the way from SmartPhones that cost more than a washing machine or refrigerator, or little robotic devices that give weather updates. How useful are these tech advances? They're not in the categories of advancing medical or infrastructure - those are developed by others not quite so famous (or infamous).
Sometimes when I'm asked why I won't buy a SmartPhone and I respond that I need the money for more critical things, like a dryer, a new frig, a car with a working defroster, food....they simply don't understand. One of the issues, I think, is the concept that one CAN have everything. Sacrifices aren't necessary as when I was growing up. You can have everything today - just charge it. And help make the Tech Barons richer.
So, as to your frustration, think of it this way: You're still independent, making your own decisions; you don't have to charge a SmartPhone repeatedly, using up more energy, and more importantly, you're not increasing your carbon footprint.
Back to the usefulness issue, I've yet to hear a realistic assessment of how a SmartPhone raises my standard of living. In fact, it would lower it b/c I would have to cut back on something just to afford the cost. I might have to skip a mortgage or utility payment, or, heaven forbid, sacrifice on food or gardening supplies. And chocolate would probably be the first thing to go, and we all know that chocolate is a major food group.
So, when I hear or read of someone feeling uncomfortable b/c of little or low tech literacy (other than computers), I am puzzled as to what I might be missing, as thus far I've seen little value in so much of the tech junk on the market.
And, best of all, I'm NOT increasing my carbon footprint.
Now I REALLY don't understand. I thought we were talking about site functionality?
I was of course exaggerating a little. I'm as fond of new toys as the next person, provided they come with a sensible instruction manual or - preferably - a customer advice line so you can ring up a real person and say "what, pray, is my Manual Tuning code, where am I supposed to find it, and how was I supposed to know that?"
What makes me twitch and clear my throat is hearing friends-and-relations wittering on about how they "need" their iPhones and tablets and how "everybody" does "everything" online now.
No, you really don't. No, they really don't.
Mind you. Where would I be without the internet and AC? Sucking my thumb and twirling my cowlick in a dark corner of the sitting room, that's where.
I confess to hijacking the thread, but just couldn't resist linking the robber barons to the tech barons and climbing again on my nontechnical soap box (made from an old orange crate).
Maybe it would be a good idea if Gershun starts a new thread; it's a good and worthy topic to discuss.
Pages load slowly, it's hard to get to my profile and messages, and occasionally the site freezes. I tried opening in another browser; same problem. I thought it was due to the holiday as typically that's when the little gremlins crawl out and wreak havoc, but the holiday is already over.
I haven't reported I yet as I still do get good responses most of the time.
I know it must be hard answering the same questions over and over, but we must remember that we are not going through the same as everyone else.
I feel sick to my stomach every day. I know it has to do with my mil's care.
Pepsee, yes, words hurt, ESPECIALLY when you are looking for answers. I still feel lost, but I feel like I know the answer before I ask the question, I guess we are just trying to get other feedback to make sure we are not making a mistake.
I DO hope that EVERYONE has a great week...and we all get out alive. I would say and be well, but it is too late for me, but I hope you all are well.
I do not believe you have to be an arse to be successful. Or clever. Or a good leader.
I do not take kindly to academics and journalists who, frankly, wouldn't know a day's work if it walked up and bit them seeing fit to take wealth creators to task for lack of social responsibility.
*Especially* as the reason they tend to focus on the more colourful types is that it sells papers. The greater number of dull, constructive industrialists and bespectacled patent holders we never hear about. This our media are pleased to call 'investigative journalism.' By investigative, they mean 'the interesting bits.'
I do not either think much to wealth creators who believe they have a licence to make an appalling mess of people's lives without either need or recompense.
Did you ever see - oh clever, I've forgotten the flipping name of it now - that film with wotsisname, Day Lewis, sigh... There Will Be Blood? About the oil magnate? I haven't, I'd like to, just wondering if it might fit in with your ponderings?
Most of what I've learned about the Robber Barons was through documentaries, of JP Morgan, Edison and Tesla, and at this moment I've forgotten which other ones.
There's also an excellent Fortune article with several pages of information on competitors in specific fields, including Gates and Jobs, Edison and Tesla, and I forgot who else right now. It was worthy of saving, which I've done. I think that might be good reading in connection with this thread.
But, the heat wave being in temporary abatement, I have no excuse not to get some work done. And though it's not a siren call, it's one I must heed.
I’m not particularly high tech but I do believe my smart phone or laptop or desk top, (I do pretty much the same on all of them) îhas helped me stay moderately sane especially through this recent forced home stay I’ve been on the last couple months.
It’s amazing I can learn about anything, I can research drugs and symptoms in depth, I watch videos of my old favorite rock bands, I take my phone with me in the garden and look up how to care for some of my plants.
When I hear our president make a stupid statement that “everybody knows” I can find out what “everyone” thinks about it and the history of the issue at hand.
Most of all, I’ve found real people, in all of you, with insights in this most demanding job I’m doing that have kept me going and not running away with the screaming Mimi’s and abandoning my poor old Mom, but you also helped me to bite my tongue when feeling angry and frustrated. I found my inner voice of compassion and a reminder of what I’m really wanting to do here and how I want it done and a focus on who I’m doing it for.
I thank you All and no, I can’t live without my smart phone. I don’t know anybody’s phone numbers, I have every appointment, lists of all our medications, dates of every medical procedure we’ve had done, projected budgets, ‘to do’ lists that don’t get done, model numbers of our major appliances, ten gigs of music, shopping lists, books I’ve read, books I’m looking for, questions for the doctor, sizes we wear, birthdays I can’t miss, details about my dog, how to make origami, or favorite recipes, and on and on on. I mean it is an endless source of information that I am completely dependent upon. Like it or not.
Thank you for being here. That’s my 2 cents worth.
Charlotte
As for finding comments,there are often so many comments posted I can’t find my place within a conversation. Sorry.
Charlotte