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I sure missed the boat re your husband. I may have remembered another poster.

I have had to practice forgiveness on an ongoing basis with certain family members as the abuse is ongoing. It helps.

You mention your ex is a recovering alcoholic. My dd's dad (now deceased) was an alcoholic and so is she, though in recovery for quite some years now. A long time ago she told me that when she was drinking, the sicker she got, the closer she got to her dad. It was at a time that she was very hurtful to me. Just something for you to think about.

Sounds like you have a workable plan for her birthday. Reducing expectations is always a good way to go when things are not going well in a relationship. ((((((hugs)))) to you.
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