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While he has a history of poor behavior, could he be in regression himself? Do you have a medical power of attorney for both your parents so you can consult with their doctors privately? He can be bored, lonely, OC, etc., and he is aging as well. Maybe he should no longer be the primary caretaker for your mother, and he should go to a senior center or adult day care program for himself. You should consult with a social worker specializing in care for the aging/elderly. And for your sake, change the locks on your house and tell him he needs to call and get your permission before coming over, and/or have a scheduled time to meet with him at his house.
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You might start by expressing how glad you are to have them both close by. Then mention that your home has rules to keep the peace. You might say that since you are head of your household, you don't need his reminders or lectures. Thank him for caring and tell him not to worry about those things. I personally would mention the
Interrupting your calls, etc. And start locking your doors at the time you want to enforce your quiet time hours. I have a rule that when I first get home from work, until dinner time is MY quiet time, alone in the kitchen. Since you have kids, they may want special time with you as well. Remember, when you were a kid, you were to abide their rules! Your dad won't like it, but you need to set these rules for your own sanity.
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Start by putting a lock on your door. Since they have their own "place," he does not need to come into your home uninvited.

Start a "communication book" where he can write all his requests. Review his requests daily for true urgent needs. Write a note at the end of each day that you have seen his requests. Set a day and time to address issues that are not urgent (to you) and discuss who, when, how and financing of his requests. If you notice he is addressing the same concern over and over - after you have already talked with him about it and addressed it - consider getting him a doctor's appointment to test his cognitive ability. He might be in the beginning stages of dementia. There are medications to help in almost every type of dementia in the early stages.
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