Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
1 2 3
My anxiety was so bad that I was waking up feeling sick to my stomach and would throw up/dry heeve all morning. I finally went to a therapist who gave me some tools to help me cope with my anxiety. Go for a brisk walk, try to calm your mind down by repeating to yourself that you are doing the best that you can, concentrate on slowly breathing in and out. Taking care of my parents has taken a huge toll on my health, but I keep reminding myself that they sacrificed so much for me to give me the best life and now it's my turn to do the same for them. It's ok to be sad and get stressed out, just remember why you are doing what you are doing. You love your parents and you are thanking them for a lifetime of happiness by taking care of them as they took care of you.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
beejaycee Apr 2019
Sorry to hear your anxiety was so bad, but glad you are able to cope better, and share such good advice. We knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but it is what we do. I loved everything you said about your parents! I have said all along I am just giving back to my mom for what she has given me. Thank-you for your answer this morning. It helped so much when I needed some encouragement!!
(1)
Report
I know that feeling ... you're waiting for the other shoe to drop ... for "the" phone call ... for the next emergency or intractable catastrophe. Have your Dr. prescribe 1mg Ativan for use as needed - just don't make it a daily thing and it won't be an issue.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
OnlyChildAlone Apr 2019
I've hated the sound of a phone ringing for over 10 years now. My mom had a stroke in '08, my dad had a heart attack in '09...and even though those were the really serious events my mom had several hospitalizations with pancreatitis and some other things. My dad got really sick in '13 and died in January '14 so for about 9 months anytime the phone rang it was almost always bad-terrible news.

My mom had a fall and a head injury a couple of weeks ago. It happened between me checking on her when I got up at 5:30a and getting showered and dressed by 6:30a to take her to dialysis. She was hospitalized and I hoped they'd send her to rehab for a few weeks so she could get stronger before coming home. The first few days she was back here she was at a huge risk of a fall because she was so weak and wobbly. It's hard to sleep or do anything when you're constantly hypervigilant over someone's safety. Even if I do manage to fall asleep I usually wake up suddenly thinking I heard something happen. At this rate the stress is going to do me in.
(2)
Report
My husband had "anxiety attacks" after eating foods with MSG in them. Trips to the emergency room and overnights at the hospital didn't help him. Our observations on his reaction to certain foods, did. Note that the attacks could come many hours after eating these foods.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I'd get a complete physical to confirm what is causing it. Make sure, that it is anxiety with the help of your doctor. And, if that's it, I'd follow his advice for treatment. It can be very debilitating, so, I wouldn't take it lightly. I know people where it has really taken a hold of their life. But, there is hope.

I used to have anxiety attacks years ago and they were terrible. Once, we figured out what it was, I read everything I could get my hands on about it. And, then practiced relaxation methods to get me through it. I kept a small dose pill as a back up, but, never had to take more than a couple, before they went away. To me, understanding what was happening and that I was really in control of my body helped me greatly.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Great suggestion, Sunny
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
I think anxiety and general stress goes with the territory of caregiving.

Speaking to a good therapist. I had a great social worker that really helped me sort out feelings that I had.

Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior either, such as relatives who don’t do the caregiving or contribute in other ways. Make an excuse and hang up the phone if they call.

Some family members aren’t able to or not interested in the hands on caregiving but they could call just to offer support and they don’t. That’s a shame. I used to take those things to heart, not anymore!

My mom has anxiety. It rubs off on us. I had to learn how to let it roll off my back. We started to feed off of each other, otherwise, know what I mean? Happens with too much togetherness!

Actually do some housekeeping, eliminate any negative people who create anxiety in your life. I have had to do that with a couple of people. Ended up being liberating for me. Now they are bothering others but it not’s me anymore!

Choose to be around or speak with people who lift you up, not knock you down, commonly called, energy vampires! They will drain the life out of you and make you feel like things are much worse than they are or that they know so much more than we do. As caregivers we have enough on our plates.

Deep breathing. Soothing music or hey, loud rock music from our youth! I have such eclectic taste in music, adore jazz and blues, classic rock, soothing classical to unwind, any variety of music that is good.

Exercise! Great stress buster! I will do thirty minutes to an hour on my exercise bike. Don’t laugh but I also love chopping vegetables to make a large pot of homemade soup.

I am a coffee drinker but I find sipping hot tea very soothing. Same as a hot bath. When I get the chance I am going to schedule a massage too!

Take care, mega hugs!
Helpful Answer (13)
Report
Texasgal Apr 2019
Wow great answer and I can relate to everyone of them. I too take care of my 92 year old mother. Do I get support - emotional or otherwise from my family - i.e. 2 brothers/2 SIL. NOPE - NOT EVEN! ALL they do is sit back and bash me - the nerve. It almost drove me over the edge but then I took a step back and realize I'm an awesome person, friend, co-worker (yes I work full-time still) and will not beat myself up over anything anymore. Friends and co-workers can't believe I do all that I do and still look damn good doing it. Meaning don't let yourself "go"...somedays I do but I'm glad I have a job that I get up for, get showered, dress nice and throw on some makeup. It makes one feel so much better. I make sure I schedule mani/pedis, lunch with friends and day trips when I can. No I don't get to do on a week long vacay - haven't done that in years but just a 1-2 day respite works wonders. My mom can still drive, cook and take care of her needs. But that will probably end soon. But maybe not. I try not to think too far into the future because that causes a lot of anxiety for me. I live close to a good hospital and a nursing home. If I have to get in-home care I will. But I will not give up my life totally for her. She has been relying on me for emotional support, entertainment for most of her life. And if I'm not doing for her she can get very unpleasant real fast. So everyone take care of yourself - you will be of no use to anyone if you don't take care of your health - mental and emotional.
(4)
Report
See 4 more replies
I have found Ashwagandha, to relieve my anxiety that I obtained when I started the care giving journey. It may be helpful to you. If you try be sure you get the right kind and not just any.
I think anxiety goes along with this labor of love. And I know that I stay in prayer mode most of that day and that is the only way I make it, through.
Best wishes to you, May God help you through these times.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Health food store?
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
Hi! This site has a lot of information on anxiety. Click on ‘care topics’ on the top RHS of the screen, scroll down the alphabetical list to ‘anxiety’. The net has information on panic attacks. I get the Oz sites up first, and the ‘Beyond Blue’ and ‘Better Health Channel’ sites are both respectable places for information without ads etc. The information is along the lines that the attacks are unpleasant and can be scary, but rarely have any health disorder implications. Of course prolonged stress is one of the causes, and all the advice on meditation, calm breathing etc is in there. I hope that you can keep it under control, and that it is not too upsetting.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I do suffer from PTSD (childhood abuse) and while it is 90% under control and you wouldn't meet me and think "wow, that lady is a real tweak fest", I am just 'managing' the anxiety that I suffer from, despite my meds.

When I am overloaded with emotional stuff, or go through some stressful things with DH (he is a walking miracle, he's lived through so many things that should have killed him) I tend to ramp up the panic attacks.

I DO have an anti anxiety med to take, and I so grateful, b/c it works every single time.

Sometimes I have to back off of things and say no to people. Caring for mother is huge anxiety trigger. I spend minimal time with her. DH's health, while currently good, is rocky. He had 2 heart attacks last summer and I am still feeling 'uneven' about those. My doc said it would take a year or more for both of us to accept the 'new norm'--meaning, we wouldn't freak out over every little mis-beat of his heart.

It's easy for docs to say 'take it easy, relax, blah blah' and really HARD to do when you are having that heart pounding attack that will NOT end.

I am trying to cut down on other's expectations--starting with my family. My kids are old enough to take over the party hosting stuff. I can put myself first. (This is harder than I thought).

And I also don't ever have the attacks when the actual trauma is happening--it comes popping out in other ways--with no seeming trigger.

If this is causing you to be miserable and fearful in your daily life, talk to your doc. A low dose of Zoloft for me keeps me from being anxious and a 'as needed' benzodiazepene. Not proud of this, but glad I can handle life.

Deep breathing and mindfulness also help. Whatever works for you. Most times we cannot handle the stressors because we live with them. Gotta learn to live around them.
Helpful Answer (16)
Report

Need to,

The others have given good advice.

I will add my experience since it’s a little different.

My body had been sending me signals that I was ignoring.

After the deaths of my Dad, Stepdad and Maternal Grandmother within 2 years and the management of their care I was fried. But Mom was still in her home alone with Dementia after my Stepdads death. She was refusing help.

About a week before Christmas and after a heated discussion with Mom about her care or lack thereof I was driving home. I felt I couldn’t breath, my chest was tight, I felt cold but sweaty, queasy and lightheaded. I was passing the hospital. I wheeled into the chest pain center there.

I was kept overnight for observation and had a stress test the next morning. Everything checked out. I was fine but referred to my GP because of my diagnosis...STRESS.

My family physician talked to me and put me on a temporary, low dose of Lexapro. I think I took it for 6 months.

My advice would be when your body starts sending you messages that it’s on overload, listen. If you can’t get things under control yourself, see a counseler or your family physician.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report
Jean1808 Apr 2019
Yep, I had a similar experience earlier this month with other complications for the VERY first time in my life and called 911. In addition to the cold shivering sweats, nausea, light-headed, and band sensation around chest, I had head to toe inflammation of my joints, stiff neck, sensation of shoulder separation, and some muscle spasm of the back. It was like a combined heart attack and rheumatoid arthritis attack.

Paramedics said I was ok but said I was tired and suggested warm bath. I'm an asthmatic and as of two years ago I do have diagnosis of heart disease. I'm 55. Never married, never had children. My mother easily triggers my startle responses and we live together.

Today I cheered myself up a bit imagining buying MYSELF a mother's day gift. I may even shop a mother's day card for ME.

I have not seen doctors yet to start checkup after what happened, but I talked to friends and we all agree it's a sign not to push myself so hard.
(8)
Report
I went through a period of that around the time my brother was dying from cancer, I'd be doing something ordinary like watching TV or sitting in church and suddenly be overwhelmed by panic - a crushing weight on my chest, nausea, lightheaded, numb extremities - the whole package. Not fun. I mentioned it to my doctor but since it wasn't interfering with my daily life he was blasé. I learned to control it with square breathing - in to a count of 4 (or whatever number works for you), hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat. Given that your circumstances are ongoing I think you should talk to your doctor, I still suffer from residual effects almost 20 years later.
Helpful Answer (11)
Report

You are not alone. I long for the days when Drs gave out Xanax like candy sigh😥. The time to get worried (IMHO) Is when you get panic attacks that aren't connected to anything. My aunt had that. She thought she was going to die the first couple of times. Agoraphobia. If you know where they're coming from then I think that means you're human. It still sucks though. I do miss the days when you have a panic attack and vodka+ Xanax boom you're all better lol. i
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
Jean1808 Apr 2019
I miss the days of wine and roses! I stopped wine a few years ago and am allergic to roses! I'm miserable company needless to say!
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
What are you worried about that’s causing you concern? You may benefit from therapy to teach you how to overcome these occurrences and learn how to identify the triggers and overcome them.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
AlvaDeer Sep 2019
If need to wash is like me, Ahmijoy, it needn't be real. I can MAKE up the most awful set of circumstances all hitting at once. I don't need real life at all.
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter