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What is he saving his other assets for? Does he expect to take them with him? Does he expect to live forever? Or is it all going to wind up going to you guys anyway? Make sure he realizes that none of you want your SIL to subsidize your inheritance with upaid work. You know that if he hired the work done by an outsider your potential inheritance would be depleted and you don't think it should be any different just because she loves him.

The notion of the other chipping in to pay for Dad's care would be perfectly appropriate IF the poor man couldn't afford his care. Since he has plenty of money it is ridiculous to treat him like a charity case.

I hope he comes around.

I there any outsider he might listen to more than a family member? Clergy? A banker? A buddy?
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Dustien, it sounds like you've done all you can for the time being. Maybe set it aside for now, knowing that there will come a time where your brother and SIL can be 'reimbursed' for all of their effort and sacrifice.
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