I cannot be there to take care of her. I've told her this. I live in another state. She's in serious denial of her mobility. She has other family close by, but they, too, are busy with their lives. I know they're going to be all over me to come help when she's out. I don't know what to do with my aunt. She's denying at home care, and assisted living, and denying she has dementia. She cannot be home alone. I know I may have posted this a thousand times, but I honestly do not know what to do with her. We're all at ease with her in rehab, but when she comes out, then what? Friends are telling me to move in to help her. No way! I work, live far, and even if I were willing, feisty, stubborn aunt doesn't want help except to clean her house. What happens next?
In this particular case the niece lives out of state so it really is not her responsibility at all to arrange.
You r a good person. Its called empathy. From all you have described, your Aunt wants things her way or not at all. But you need to tell yourself, there is nothing you can do for this woman because she wants no help. What you can do is call APS. Tell them that you live too far away to check on your Aunt who was just released and could they do a well visit because your afraid nothing was put in place for her care at home. At this point she won't talk to you and family there seems to think she will be alright but ur worried. This does not obligate you in any way. Its easier for APS if they can find family to care for her, but they cannot force you or any of your cousins to do the caring or coordinate caring. Your not responsible for Aunt financially either. Its APS's job to make sure Aunt is cared for. If anything, this call may put Aunt on their radar. Maybe resources can be found for her to stay in her home. It will put ur mind at rest to know APS looked in on Aunt.
Maybe this could work for your aunt.🙂
Good luck!!
If she's lucky, someone will find her and get her back to the hospital.
My mother have me fits about having someone do heavy housework in her home after her hip and knee replacements. First, my father didn't want "strangers" in the house (are you ready to do the work so we don't need a stranger's help). Second, my mom was afraid the work wouldn't be done to her standard. I pointed out my job didn't allow me to help her the way she was able to help her mother (mom spent a day at grandma's doing her housework each week from grandma's late 60s) and even if the vacuuming wasn't done to her standard wasn't it better than not being done at all?
After I found someone and Mom became accustomed to having someone come in to the house, she began to appreciate the help and even decided on additional tasks they could do or help her do - like cleaning out the freezer. Dad's paranoid personality disorder meant he was never happy but he did learn to live with his unhappiness.