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Mulata: Yes, it was sad. I don't think the gentleman found out about the tossed meals, fortunately.
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arianne: Thank you!
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Debdaughter: No, my husband's grandmom never asked for the meals. This lovely gentleman was just doing it out of kindness.
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I think mulatta's gotten off track somewhere, might have been a solution at the time but don't think we're actually dealing with that situation now, and in my situation not sure how well I'd be able to pull it off or even if I would want to; I don't actually care, at least for the food or preparer's sake, if she does throw it away; I'm somewhat concerned for her but as somebody said on here, if she really doesn't need it....not really entirely sure what the reasoning behind it is, especially now that they at least are getting the senior meals; she is still weak as well from her fall where she hit her head; she did bring up the other day wishing there was an agency that would come just be with her, so maybe given enough time kimba's mother will reach that point as well
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my 81 year old mom isn't too far from needing caregiver assistance(she lives alone too),and not living near her,are there any government programs to help me with those caregiver expenses.....since I my resources are limited to cover these expendes??
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veryconcerned, you would need to contact the local Agency on Aging where your Mom's lives https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging to see what programs are available. As for paying you for expenses, those probably are far and few between due to State/local budget cuts.
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they just came out last Friday to hub's aunt but one somewhat disconcerting thing, as I understood them about the program, it's to help the person's caregiver, so if veryconcerned's mom doesn't already have one.....
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What seems "little" to you might be just enough for her. I, for example, have a full breakfast and hearty lunch. Dinner is usually light because I'm really not that hungry. A salad and mixed fruit holds me until morning.

She doesn't have a reason to get into the kitchen except for fixing small, survival meals. Remind her of those stick-to-your-ribs dinners she used to make. Tell her how much you miss them. If she says it's a lot of work, tell her you and ______ (outsider) can give her a hand.

Another option is for you to start making those dishes and ask her to supervise to make sure they taste "just right." Fumble and bumble a tad to give the appearance of helplessness. Working as a team might help relieve some of her depression.
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MIL is 83 she would hold the Meal on Wheels food for me to inspect. She would, quite agitatedly, ask me if I could identify the food. Honestly without the menu, I couldn't. It's a very convenient program for me but I see her point. MIL has diabetes and she will eat ALL that is put in front of her. She is petite and 160 lbs and has a VERY sedentary life. I prepare heavy duty paper plates of measured food (sometimes left overs but mostly Sunday cookfest food...it's the only time I have to cook) slide the plate into a zip lock and put them in her freezer. All she has to do is take it out of the zip lock cover it with another paper plate and microwave for 2 minutes. I know this may sound complicated for some dementia patients but her dementia is only evident when you break routine. I worked the "plates" into her routine and wha la, a huge burden is off my shoulders. They are easily counted so I know if she ate. I take out the garbage and weigh her every week so she can't no eat them without me knowing. Also I only make 3 at a time, if I made more she would think I was abandoning her. She used to insist on Hungry Man meals but they are not conducive to a healthy diabetic diet, too much salt, too many carbs and not enough nutritional value. Also she has a problem with ill fitting dentures so chewing is an issue. A typical plate would be 3 Turkey meatballs, a cup of spinach with a 1/2 TBL of butter and a 1/2c of jarred red cabbage. Not a lot of food but enough from keeping her from snacking. I also keep in the house no sugar jello/pudding packs. They are only 10 calories each and they make her smile.
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