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Since you say your husband was already diagnosed with dementia and you are designated as his DPOA, then those advance directives are already in effect. Anyway, you have some very good suggestions here. You can try taking your husband out to eat just before the appointment and then drive him directly to the appointment from there. Or you can check if there are any Visiting Physicians in your area that make house calls. There is probably some sort of Physician Referral Source available in your area. Just check your phone book.

In addition, I would just like to add that you can ask to speak to the doctor in private at the time of your husband's doctor appointment to address all of his mobility and equipment needs. That way you are not as at risk for getting your husband angry at you by discussing his dementia symptoms in front of him.

Being in the healthcare profession, I agree that due to the current HIPAA laws, chances are you are not going to get a response from the doctor electronically, or at least not a very good one.

Best of luck!
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Also, once at the Dr.'s appointment I would suggest you request a Physical Therapy evaluation through a local Home Health agency to address his decreased mobility and equipment needs as well. That way he cannot argue with the Physical Therapist about what he currently needs. Well, he can argue with them, but he will not win because they are the professionals and they are used to dealing with this sort of behavior!
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You live in a cartoon too...I just wish mine to be peaceful.

I am usually the enemy. Being a well trained medical professional, I simply choose not to take any of his paranoia , anger or whatever personally. I did run away recently~I was so fried....but I am back.
My husband , who forgets my name a lot but oh how he recall this & that??~I am the bad guy/gal.
When he was first diagnosed 15 years ago with Solvent Dementia, I GOT ALL THE PROPER forms signed to give me POA, MPOA, DPA, covered it all...no family to deal with but just me.
I am fortunate that all his docs know me & we have worked together. All proper paperwork is filed. Sometimes I see a Light inside but sometime I fear for myself.
I LISTEN TO THE VOICE IN MY GUT~it has yet learned to lie to me~~smile.
I so feel for you...Dementia presents in so many different ways.
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When my journey began 6 years ago my mother also refused to go to the dr. unless it was for flu shot or something easy. Fortunately she and my dad went to a Senior/elder care physician and I was able to work with the dr. and her social worker. I always went through the social worker when I had a new problem or needed to try different medications that my mother refused to take because "she didn't need them because NOTHING was wrong with her!" I wouldn't put up with that doctor for myself or for a loved one. Try to find a social worker in your area that will help you find a qualified elder care nurse or doctor that can meet with you on neutral ground or in your home. They can work it as if they were just friends or acquaintances that have come for a visit or that you have run into at lunch. They will take notes and start a file on your husband. Best of luck to you. I know it's hard....
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I'm glad you went ahead with the appointment and found a way to get him there. The fallout may have been heartbreaking, but it has been good.
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Waweeta, it sounds like the doctor and the nurses are taking current seminars on dementia. I would hope so since dementia is on the rise worldwide. It's so obvious with how all the staff had handled the situation- making sure that both you and hubby were included as important. When you have time, it would be so nice to send them a grateful email to them. I Keep those emails from clients who praised me. =)
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Hi angels. Sorry it took me a bit to respond. Every day is cray-cray with anticipation of the help that is coming - for both, me and my LO. He has been doing much better with the med adjustments. Fear is always present, but it hasn't escalated to an anxiety attack, since the doc visit. I am the one loosing sleep from the 'Santa Claus is coming!' bedtime thoughts, hahaha. Does anyone know how long it actually takes to get through the medicare process, after the doctor has ordered the services/evals? His office staff said, "Awhile". But that doesn't tell me anything.
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This is a difficult situation. Many deny dementia symptoms and many do not realize what is happening to them and are not aware of their symptoms. Speak to his doctor's nurse, explain the situation to her/him, make sure you include all the symptoms you are seeing. You are not going to be able to reason with your husband, but the nurse can relay this info to the doctor so when your husband has his next visit, the doctor can provide a more detailed exam. The anger and the decline physically and cognitively is a sign of dementia, but it could also be from other conditions. Contact your local area agency on aging, they have caregiver support groups, it helps to speak with other caregivers. You could contact your local adult protective services, explain the situation and ask for advise, they are there to help-despite their 'bad' reputation I have found them helpful.
Good luck.
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As far as how long it takes to get the services or evals, if he is already on Medicare then it usually only takes up to 48 hours to get Home Health Nursing, Physical Therapy, and other services to come out once they have Dr.'s orders. However, if he does have a secondary insurance, as it may take a little longer for the insurance to provide authorization for the services.
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imccarthy1: yes, he has the supplemental plan. That means, everything goes through Athem and not the actual Medicare program. Thanks.
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