My aunt is 75 and spends hours cleaning her small kitchen every day, only buys exactly enough food to be eaten at exactly as many meals there will be. Only microwaves so she won’t have to wash the stove or oven, and refuses to use her dishwasher even though it works. Her rationale for lack of use comes from feeling grossed out by the idea that the people who lived here before her made it gross because it wasn’t cleaned to her standard when she moved in. For all of these reasons and more she has made myself, who already has social anxiety, anxious at the thought of eating in her presence. Ps, she refuses to let me wash the dish I dirty because it must be done the way she does it. She doesn’t work or socialize much with anyone besides me which means she is almost always at home.
I am a 71 year old Grandmom to a 27 yr old grandson who has worked since he was 19. How can you afford school when you have no job? A 22 yr old should be taking care of themselves. Maybe school should be put on the back burner and you find a job. Your Aunt should not be paying ur way.
If Aunt is showing signs of Dementia, then you need to tell a family member what you have seen and that you are not equipped to care for her.
Your aunt took you in. She has extreme OCD or some other underlying issues. Who knows? You have anxiety and you claim that her behavior makes it worse.
So, why are you there exactly? For free housing? You say that you don’t contribute financially. Do you help in any other ways? Does your aunt need a caregiver?
What is the whole story here? Please share a bit more, if you wish.
Could you get a job? Find roommates? That is what most college students do.
Look, it’s her home. If she wants her dishes done a certain way, let her do it that way. If she chooses not to use the dishwasher, so what? Do you think that you can or should change her habits at this stage in her life? Good luck with that! I suggest moving out, getting a job and getting roommates.
Best wishes to you.
If there really is no other option, eating in your room means you won't starve at least! But this must be taking up so much energy to abide by your Aunt's rules... & not much fun either. At 22, living in a share house with other young people might suit (& be a lot more fun!)
Whether your Aunt does have an anxiety disorder, OCD or something else, her behaviour is unlikely to change. If she does not want to seek help, even more unlikely.
I believe CBT (cognitive behavior treatment) is used to treat OCD symptoms. But this is IF the person seeks help. There is also a type of personality who does seek help - does not seek to change - it is just who they are.
Do you think, if you did move out, your Aunt is safe living alone?