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MaryKathleen, what a lovely thing you did for your aunt. It must have brought her a lot of comfort. I’m feel for your current situation. That can’t be easy. I have to say, There’s not much I can add to GardenArtist’s excellent advice. Find that “bra” friend!
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GardenArtist, thank you once again! Your comments and advice are very much appreciated 😊
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I know how you feel. My mother will be 98 next month and is in a nice NH. She has old age dementia. She knows everyone but has no short term memory so she doesn’t even remember if I visit or not. That is something I have to accept and not feel guilty when I don’t visit her daily. With the help of hiring visitors for her I can now go to visit only two or three times a week. It is important that you do things for yourself! Go to classes or exercise facilities. It is so important that you try to keep yourself healthy. I too lost patience etc., with my friends and my husband and also my boss! Being an only child is very hard and you have to take a step back and think about your own health. Do it! It will get easier as time goes on. No guilt! You are doing a great job.
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Jelly - I only read what you wrote but my impression is that your dad entrusted his care to the right person - you care & are doing the right things for your dad - no body is superwoman nor should we expect to be - your dad seems to have been there for you just like you are for him

I know the struggle you go through as I am P.O.A. of my mom who has dementia & is diabetic - she has been on antibiotics for 3 months now for a foot infection & within 60 hours of discontinuing them we had to restart them .... so I now have to decide about continuing them or let the infection basically kill her off - the specialist says she won't survive [at 92] any surgery - due to the pain she is doped up & can't stay awake for long but if we reduce that med then she is in agony - there sometimes is no clear right answer to the questions we ask of life

Good luck - we all have similar issues but know that sometimes keeping those you love can be for you not them as they might be ready to go to a place without pain, effort & with some dignaty of their own - it is such a hard call to do without support from the rest of your biological family but know that we here are all a spiritual family of those who know what you are going through & I say on behalf of all the others that we understand your dilema & know you will be strong in the time to come - hugs M
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