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My daughter is a therapist.

The most important things to look for are the initials LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) or LMHC (Licensed Mental Health Counselor) behind the person's name. This indicates they have been licensed by their state to provide psychotherapy. Each state has different requirements but they all include at least a Master's Degree and many hours of supervision. My daughter's degree is a MEd in Counseling and she had to have over 200 hours of supervision. Continuing education is also required.

Most PhD (or PsyD) psychologists these days provide diagnostic testing and supervision only, probably because they are the only ones qualified to do the testing and they can make a heck of a lot more money doing that.

If a therapist is not in practice with a psychiatrist, they will usually have one they can refer to if they feel medication might help.

There are many different types of therapy that have been proven effective. There are even more different types of people licensed as therapists. You really just have to find one that clicks with your personality.

Whatever you do, avoid anyone calling themself a “Life Coach!” Any idiot can take an online course and print up a certificate!
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anonymous828521 Oct 2019
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I definitely had better luck with a LCSW than I did with any psychologist that I saw. I had one psychologist that worked with my son and then I went to her and every time I talked with her she YAWNED!!! EVERY DAMN TIME!!! I wanted to say to her am I boring you????
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
Geeeez, Elaine

Can’t say that I blame you for being annoyed with the yawning. Did you ever want to ask them if they suffered from narcolepsy? Would have crossed my mind after boredom. Sorry you experienced this. That would be quite unnerving.
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Find anyone who won't YAWN while you are talking to them!!!
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Angeleyes1 Oct 2019
Haha, that's very good! I had one many years ago who actually did fall asleep!
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When it got difficult to deal with the wifes issues, I needed to talk to someone. He pointed out that the caregiver needs to take care of themselves. I volunteer at local railroad museum and he suggested that I take a side track every once in awhile. Simple enough suggestion, but still takes daily determination to deal with the issues of the day. Some days I just can't win. Wife is strong willed and stubborn, like many others have related. In my opinion, so far I prefer a therapist. I talk and he listens and we decide what is the best course of action.
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A social worker helps you strategize how to “eat the whale one step at a time.” Sometimes life can seem overwhelming,and this SW can help you chew off a little at a time. Psychologists, on the other hand are more concerned with why a person behaves one way or another. It is a science. I hope this helps you. The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.
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anonymous828521 Oct 2019
That's a good way to put it! (Eat the 🐳). Haven't yet heard back from the therapists that I emailed...but no worries.
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Thankfully psychoanalysis is no longer as popular as it once was in its search for how the fire got started.

Almost all therapists of various stripes are about helping you deal with now and the future in the aftermath of the fire so to speak.

If you need to vent about how the fire got started, a good therapist will meet you where you are and then gently seek to help you move forward one small step at a time. I did a lot of venting with mine at the first on how the fire got started and she let me vent it all out and then she guided me into what I needed to do then in response to the fire with some healthy boundaries and concrete consequences for when the boundaries got broken which they did.

I wish you the best.
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One thing that I learned to really respect with my social worker was he told me straight up from day one that most likely he would say things that I would not like. He asked me to hang in and give him a chance and not quit after 2 or 3 sessions like some people do. Later he told me that he respected me for working so hard in therapy and discussing tough topics. It’s hard to focus on painful parts of our lives. Once that is discussed and it helps them to understand us better then you can move forward to planning the best steps for a healthy future.

I really respect that he told me that I may not like everything he had to say. It was one of the most helpful things he said to me early on in the relationship. He truly wasn’t being insensitive at all but clearly he was well aware that some people who are struggling are indeed overly sensitive. I was one of those people who was overly sensitive and sometimes misunderstood those who were only trying to help but I wasn’t ready to hear it. Sometimes when we are overwhelmed we can read more into a situation than there is.

His remark to me made me aware that I needed to be open minded and fair and not quit the first time I wasn’t happy with a response of his and to hang in there for the long haul.

Plus I relate to ‘no nonsense’ direct people who don’t sugarcoat everything. He was fair with me also. It was a two way street.

Once I told him that he was off base about something and he asked me to tell him why I felt that way. His response was incredibly kind to me and he told me that he did assume something that was clearly not how I felt and understood my attitude and told me that he was giving me a ‘free pass’ for feeling as I did.

Therapists are human just as we are. They understand how we feel and for the most part with a good therapist we are in safe non judgmental hands. If they need us to clarify a topic they will ask and it’s our responsibility to clarify it for them.

Taking a break if needed is okay. I wouldn’t be so quick to write someone off. Working with the therapist like I have caused me to look at myself a lot more seriously. I am very grateful for that.

It’s just like the people on this forum. The ones that pointed out things that I should consider helped me the most. It doesn’t matter if I didn’t hear what they said right away because it was food for thought and they planted a seed that grew and I am grateful.
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You're right. Some psychologists seem to be a bit "off." I have been to some in the distant past who fit that bill.
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DizzyBritches Oct 2019
Unfortunately there are some “wounded healers” in the profession.
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Many years ago I went to a therapist as Mommy Dearest was really being vile and nasty to me. I thought maybe it's me, although at that point no one in the family was speaking to her.

So I go, explain my situation. Half way in he jumps up and starts propelling his arms and going around in a circle, saying that I need to be like an airplane.

I just look at him and wonder WTH have I gotten myself into. Ok he sits down and we continue. As I leave, he says there is nothing wrong with me, it is her.

I scamper out thinking the entire world is Bat Sh#t crazy. Never been to another therapist since, just went no contact with my mother..problem solved!
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notrydoyoda Oct 2019
Sounds like you followed his advice and became like an airplane, flying away never to have any contact again with your mommy dearest. Therapists have a sense of humor! :)
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Sorry, I talked before reading all the advice and experiences people had already written about. It sounds like it depends more on the person than on their license type. Best wishes.
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anonymous828521 Oct 2019
No worries GrAnnie:)
I do it all the time😁.
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I so understand what where you are coming from. I want to go to one too but not sure. My sister had wrong therapy and she is so hateful. I take care of our 83 year old mother and I too get mentally exhausted. I know therapy can help bc it’s someone that is objective.
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
Marnie,

Don’t let your sister’s negative experience deter you from reaching out. I’m sorry that she had a bad experience. It happens sometimes but it doesn’t mean it will necessarily happen to you too.

I wish you all the best.
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HI Tiger55! You're welcome. Another thought I had was pursuing a caregivers support group. Hospitals,churches,libraries, and facilities also host these groups. Another option,maybe?
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anonymous828521 Oct 2019
👍 thanks Peanuts56, will check that out!
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Hi all, I'm checking in only once a week, cuz I have routine eye exam next week, (& Dr tells me 2 stay off all 'screens' for 2weeks prior 2 appt. (I cheated already tho)....😱 Anyway, thanks 2 all,
💟Tiger55.
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shad250 Oct 2019
Never heard this before. Why is Dr telling you to stay off Screens"? Surgery? other issue maybe serious.
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To clear up what maybe a confusing choice for some, which would be best to handle a wide range of issues, such as life, death, health to name a few

Psychiatrst, Psychologist, Social Worker or Clinical Social Worker?
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Psychologist, or Clinical Social Worker

psychiatrist prescribe meds
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
Great answer! If you are seeing a social worker they can lead you in the right direction if meds are needed in your care. Or you can always reach out to them and bring up the topic of meds.
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Also, if group therapy is suggested a qualified moderator should always be leading the group, otherwise conflicts aren’t handled correctly. My social worker was super quick in controlling the direction of a group. Group therapy is useful when done in the right manner. He quickly cleared up any misunderstandings and so forth.
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Thank u Marnie2019, I appreciate your sharing. I know it's mentally exhausting to be caregiving. Your mom is lucky that u can have her in ur home, but do u hav a good neighbor to sit with mom?...while u get some respite for yourself? For me, doing everything for mom, felt like it wud last forever! I had to get her into ALF after the first 3 years, cuz I couldnt keep up. I feel badly that she was in such pain for 3 more years, (but we can't make things perfect for them). Best wishes Marnie!
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When I was a young woman, I went to a psychiatrist named Dr. Darling. Honest to God, that was his name. He soured me on the whole experience by talking about all of his patients, and their stories! He was pretty old at the time and maybe suffering from dementia, who knows? But I only wound up going to see him a few times because he was a blabbermouth and I was paying him to talk about MY issues, not hear stories about OTHER people's issues! This was in the days before HIPPAA. :( So yeah, I'd classify him as a crazy bast#ard!!

That's my only experience with talk therapy. I've always found more help through forums like this one, for instance, than I have from anywhere else.
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
Lealonnie,

He was crazy! Hahaha

I don’t know how old you are but I remember during the Beatles era there was the ‘scream’ therapy! That actually may have been somewhat helpful. Hahaha Except why pay someone to go scream! LOL

I also remember those crazy foam clubs that people bought and beat each other with! I think I bought some at a very nice shop uptown here that sold them and gave them as a gag gift to my husband. He cracked up. We were in our 20’s. No kids yet. He has a great sense of humor.

There have been ‘crazy’ methods throughout history and I am sure questionable methods will always be around.

It takes all kinds to make the world go round. I say live and let live as long as no harm is done to anyone.

If something works, great. If not, it is at least a good laugh!
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Dizzy: Agreed!
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Well, I have an update friends, but wish it was better news. I had to put therapist search on hold, (only got one reply anyway: to four emails sent). More concerned now about my son, (mental issues), & of course I'm the one he yells at & blames for everything. It's been easy to help him in the past, but this episode has me really down...especially cuz it reminds me so much of the attitude my mother had toward me. (You know: angry, nothing I did was enuff, it's all my fault, blah blah). But it shook me up, & his dad doesn't really help much. Some kind of management change at work put son in a panic/rage. I used to be able to mediate for him, & calm him down. But his unreasonable response is not just confusing, but hurtful.
Just when I thought things wud finally get better for me,...this episode (lasting a week already). I even missed my eye exam, cuz Dr had2 go on pregnancy bed rest. It hardly matters now though. Thanks for continuing to post great responses on the thread. (Some are quite funny)!
Hoping the week ahead will bring good things for us all.
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anonymous272157 Oct 2019
So sorry Tiger.  It must be awful!  Big (((HUGS)))
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Social workers are not trained (in my opinion) to deal with most issues. My preference would be with a psychologist. I have had pretty good luck with most of the therapists throughout the years (on and off). And I would go with a woman, they seem to relate better. You made me really laugh, about the "crazy bast#ard himself" comment. Most of them are not.
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