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I would not do it on your mom at this time. There are cognitive loss risks to general anesthesia in elderly, which I believe are greater with any dementia. There are also risks with leaving a hernia unrepaired. Her doctor is willing to wait, so that is what you should do. That said, I had hernia surgery myself recently...felt very uncomfortable with it and scheduled the earliest possible surgery. I know several who have had this umbilical surgery in their 80s.
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My mother's cardiologist gave me the best advice. He told me to always expect the worst-case scenario and only do what needs to be done when it's life or death. I never got surgery for my mother's hernia. They wanted to do surgery when my mother swallowed 2 hearing aids. I didn't let them and they passed on their own. I did let them do a hip replacement when she broke her hip. I felt that was necessary. She was 91 with late-stage Alzheimer's and did fine. Take it a day at a time and do what has to be done. If it's not life or death, watch it.
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Thank you for all so much. Definitely a lot to think about :-))
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