Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
The weight loss is how she is qualifying for hospice’s palliative care. Failure to thrive. They have seen her for an initial evaluation, and have been back for an x-ray of her bowel, because of some pain. The hospice doc has seen her twice for that.

Lea, thanks for the hospice/hospital explanation. That’s exactly what I’m looking for-help formulating a future plan!

I don’t think that having a priest or a nun or a deacon would help change her mind about her “Lenten Obligations”. Mom can’t remember 5 minutes ago. So, she would not remember them trying to explain things to her. She was not even that strict a Catholic for the past 30 years or so. Yep. It doesn’t even make sense.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2021
It certainly doesn’t make much sense at all.

You or anyone else probably won’t be able to convince her.
(1)
Report
It's her choice to eat or not eat, so here's the NEXT hurdle for you to worry and fret over. If possible, don't lose any sleep over it, either. These women make choices we disagree with but there's nothing we can do about it. Her new diet is extreme enough that it led to a 10 lb weight loss on an already thin body!

So if she falls and breaks a bone, you'll deal with that crisis when it happens. I assume she has a DNR in place, but if she's taken to the hospital for a broken bone, hospice takes a back seat to necessary medical care. In fact, even hospice sends their patients to the hospital for broken bones to be set or repaired, normally. What can be refused is rehab and PT. She can choose to go back to MC afterward and forego further medical intervention. If she becomes bedridden as a result of a fall, then it's time for permanent placement in a SNF.

Unfortunately, you need backup plans for everything with stubborn mothers like we have. We had to take away my mother's "slippery" pants after 69 falls, the last one on Friday out of her wheelchair bc she found ANOTHER pair of slippery pants in the back of her closet. Today at the window visit, I found her wearing ANOTHER pair of slippery pants with a large hole in the leg she fished out of the donation bag! She spilled coffee on herself at lunch, went back to her room, found them, and changed herself! She knows these pants lead her to fall out of her wc, but she insists on wearing them. The CG went in there and cleaned out her closet today, making sure there were no more pairs hiding out! 🤐

Wishing you the best of luck coming up with Plan B C and D for your mothers next levels of care.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Your mother's diet doesnt seem so extreme to me. If she were skipping a meal every day, or actually fasting (as in not eating for an entire day) I might have a different opinion.

Have you had the staff dietician look at how much she is eating each day?

I would not argue with her about this. Arguing with people (age 2 and up) only engenders digging in of heals.

Have you considered a hospice evaluation?
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I am so sorry you are going through this!

Maybe, since she's already undergoing palliative care with Hospice, speak to them about your concerns if she ends up in the hospital...I'm sure they will be able to guide you on what to tell the hospital personnel so that mom gets comfort care only.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Falls happen no matter what. They are a curse of old age. Does she respect a priest enough to listen to his guidance? If it’s end of life she wants, he may also help with this conversation. Sorry you’re dealing with this, how frustrating.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Oh my gosh! I grew up Catholic and a practicing Catholic.

You are right, the fasting stipulations are not this strict.

Besides that, seniors aren’t even required to fast, nor is anyone of any age who has a medical situation that fasting would harm.

I think it is great that you have printed out the fasting rules.

Some people go overboard and your mom is in that category.

I would suggest having a nun, priest or deacon speak with her about what fasting means in the Catholic Church.

Best wishes to you and your family.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

She's probably dehydrated more than anything. Her diet isn't especially limiting, and I assume she isn't terribly active, so she isn't burning a load of calories each day. It's the lack of fluid intake that's messing her up and will continue to do so. My mother hasn't eaten since mid-December, but she drinks Ensure each day, and will drink water, so she's still hanging on.

If she goes into a hospital, then she'll be taken off hospice care because that's one of the rules of hospice -- you aren't going to the hospital any longer. If I were you, I'd talk to the hospice folks and ask about how to arrange for comfort care at her nursing home. She might need to be bumped up to full hospice care, not palliative care.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter