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PS...should your sister indeed return the money you can use the money for cabs to take mom to appts and you and her out for a ride or lunch since sissy has stated she is done. do not put that monie in your mom's account. u will mess up so much for the medicaid.
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Hi Suzmarie,
Don't get confused! So sorry you did! Mom only qualifies for medicaid for her medical stuff and does not get checks. When sissy put her in the nursing home last summer, she made application to Medicaid to get mom on so it would pay for her nursing home. Remember, I got Mom back home after a month...sissy didn't like having to make trips to the NH to run errands for her and was upset about that. I got Mom out! They had been telling her she really didn't need to be in there anyway.

She has her SS and that is all. I have DPOA as of this past July and that is when I saw into Moms bank account for the first time. That is when I saw how month after month sissy transfered money from moms account to her own. She ahd been paying her bills and handling all the finacial end of things. I had the caretaking part. I never saw the financial end of things until after Mom came home from NH and I got DPOA. That was just July.

Mom doesn't need Medicaid any more thn she needed to go in the nursing home. That was a POWER PLAY by sissy. Not only did sissy take Moms money and put it 'away', she somehow qualified Mom for Medicaid so her NH bill would be paid, and Mom is still on Meidcaid for Medical. So what happens if Sissy DOES give the money back? I have to do a fast spend down, or it has to get paid back to Medicaid. Frankly, Medicaid probably deserves it back! But dangit, this all should have never ever taken place.

My sister is very self centered--a control freak is keeping it mild. I told the APS gentleman that she was very intimidating. I think after talking to her he can see she is a few bricks for of anything close to congenial.
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I have to Suz, I can't hide that darn money..I'd be doing exactly what my sis did. Hiding it. I can't lie and be deceitful. I just can't.

It is tempting to tell her to stick it somehwere and be done with it. This whole thing has been sooo stressful to me and Mom and my poor hubby who sees it all. But if I let this go, then I am letting my thief/liar sister get away with stealing.
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Its ok Shamir. I was just thinking of all the things u and ur mom deserve to have after all the years your sis hid mom's money from her...I am sure you spent a fortune on your mom. I mentioed quite some time ago, the little things, jammies, toothbrushes and the like added up to over 30k in a 2 year period....hence, I just thought you would be reimbursed for all the money you have spent I am not deceitful either so I completely understand, and I wasn't thinking of keeping the money as deceitful but rather what is owed to you and your mother. I am sure it has been so stressful but hopefully it will soon come to an end finally...please buy your mother a lovely cozy gift for the holidays...all of you deserve the same. I still hope to hear whether sis returns the money and so on. Hold onto all the medicaid papers so when mom does run out of money you will know how to complete the forms. You are a wonderful daughter and you must have a wonderful husband to have watched all of this. I hope you aren't mad at me for suggesting keeping the money. I just thought it was deserved since you have spent so much already. will you have the social security check sent to your address?
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You need to get an attorney on spending down as you might qualify for caregiving services, make out a caregiver contract, etc. Why would you want medicaid anyway if you have your Mom in your home. We spend down Moms money and now use her ss and va for supplies and respite for myself. Love your story, I have a sibling just like yours and they should get what they deserve, nothing!
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I have had some dealing with Medicaid on my son's behalf as he qualified for assistance due to a terminal kidney condition.

I would suggest that you put the money in her account and fill out the form that Medicaid has for just this purpose, informing them that she has more than 2,000 (Texas) in her account. We did this as soon as his account reached that amount after he returned to work.

They will let you know if anything changes in her Medicaid status. It doesn't sound like there is any reason for you to hurry and spend down her money. While I am sure it could be different for elderly people, Medicaid statuses are generally requalified on a 12 month basis. The change may affect her status for the next year's qualifying.

Sounds like your mom can look forward to many happy years in your home. Always nice for her to have a little nest egg in case she does want additional furniture for her bedroom!
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I know I would quaslify for caregivers services but I cannot do that. I am disabled myself (legally blind) and I work full time (from home) so if I get paid for caregiving...I risk losing my own disability which is what helps keep me available for mom. I make enough to live decent, not lavishly. Moms money is hers, she is not required to pay me anything specific and I don't take anything specific. Her monies are spent and split with whatever is going on at the store pretty much. I don't need that money my sis took...it is not about ME, its about her schiesty a** getting away with taking it, and keepi8ng it. And claiming to everyone I will blow it. I just want her to give back what she took. She still has it. She told mom she'd give it back...and we are still waiting. It been 10 days.

We could sue if we have to. Does it really have to go that far?

Suzmarie, no way could I be 'mad' at you! I know you emant well and you are so full of good its awesome!

Mom should NOT be even on Medicaid...but how can I undo all this and then what would happen if she really DID need to go to a nursing home one day.....

My sister thrives on making things tangled and complicated...she is a master at it.
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Sorry for the above typos, I am very tired tonight. :)
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Hi Shamir...when moms money, becomes 2k or less, then she would qualify at least in CA for medicaid. If she has medicaid medical and you can keep it do so. When my mom sold her condo medicaid allow mom to pay in advance for her funeral from the proceeds from the house and was still able to keep her medicaid. So if your mom has not paid for funeral expenses, please check on how to do this legally. You are probably correct when you say medicaid will want their money back once sister returns it. we can help you and/or support you in laying out the story to medicaid.
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Yes, that is exactly what I want to do and needs done...the last thing I want to deal with that dreaded day is final arrangements. I am planning to take care of all that and get her things she needs and thngs that she never could afford like nice shoes and comfortable clothes and stuff for her room like music...a collection of old music just for her. I got her wirelss headphones so she can hear her TV better and thought maybe some kind of MP3 device that was easy and simply with lots of her old favorites on it. I also want to make a better garden area outside her window. She looks out into a wooded area now, and it would be great to see some coor out there.

Anyway, I like to dream and see things through her eyes. She thinks I am too concerned about her and need a life. Well, I do...but right now she is priority in it. These days are numbered. I can't get them back once gone! My sisters, neither of them, see Mom the way I do. I see love. They see demanding and ungrateful. They see hard work. I see sharing and watching over each other. You get what you give and that just drives my sisters crazy. No wonder they are bitter. I can't help it if they can't get along with Mom they way I do, and accuse me of things they are. I believe sissy is so resentful that I have a great relationship with mom she wants me to hurt like her. When all she has to do is love Mom like I do. Its so simple. I'm rambling. GNite
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you are right. it is so simple. mom and i hug, touch, hold hands, take naps together side by side, exchange light kisses....that is the one thing angie dickinson said about alzheimer's disease...they want love. i ike the idea for wireless headphones...do you need a special televsion for that? More later. I have been awake since 5 a.m. and i am quickly losing steam.
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Nope! Google Wireless headphones for TV! :) I got Moms at Bed, Bath and Beyond for less than 20.00! :)
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thanks, i'll go to BB&B for some for myself.
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I just thought that I might add that she probably doesn't have a dime of that money she "saved". You may be beating a dead horse and...lose Medicaid all at the same time. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and it's so sad that people's true colors come out in these situations. I don't have advice for you really but I would tread very lightly if mom really needs Medicaid. Hugs
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UPDATE 12-27-2012
Well, nearly 6 months later, and after requesting asstance and getting it, this issue is finally over! Sis returned Moms money to her account yesterday.

None of us here have heard a peep from her. But she did the right thing. The Elder Advocte for central FL mediated the whole thing and did a fine job. To Community Legal Services of Central Florida, I give my thanks and much appreciation.

Now comes the second phase. Sis got Mom qualified for Medicaid right before I took over moms finances and became DPOA. She did that when she put Mom in the nursing home. Mom was in one month before sissy gave it all up and didn't want anything more to do with mom....and that is when I brought her back home. She is still on Medicaid and now that the money is returned as it should be, I am in a quandry as to handle all this so Mom does not lose her Medicaid. Or should I just end it? Mom really does not NEED Medicaid, however if she she should ever need to go to a nursing home, the money that was returned will be in question. I will be taking care of mom -pre-needs...if you kow what I eman, but there will be some left over that will still disqualify her should she need Medicaid.

I have had mom here almost three years bow, and the last two I have covered all her living costs and do not charge or make her pay anything. Now I understand from researching that if I don't, she may be disqualified anyway cos she has no expenses!

I don't get it: she gets 1286.00 a month, Medicaid can still deny her nursing home coverage because she has too much money.

I don't feel right about all this and I should feel like a load has been lifted...but I don't. It feels even heavier and for the life of me I can't shake the feeling. That darn money sissy took and finally returned is a PITA and poor Mom can't even do what she wants with it cos now Medicaid will question whatever she does with it.

Okay. Stick me with a fork. I'm Done.
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Please forgive the typos in the above post. I was writing fast in between job things and didn't have time to edit as well as I could have! :)
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In CA one qualifies for medicaid if they have 2k or less of assets ...this doesn't include wedding rings etc and my mom still had her condo; i checked will return home on the medicaid application because that was always a possibility. so, therefore you can 1. Tell medicaid what happened. They might have you repay any monies they put out for the NH for your mom for that short period of time, end the medicaid since your mom has assets, and have you use mom's money for her needs now. when you spend down mom's money then you can re apply to medicaid. and yeah, oneday mom may need medicaid. i think medicaid allows you to spend a certain number of dollars on funeral costs, maybe dental, etc. if you put mom's money in your mom's account then you will have to answer to medicaid sooner rather than later...if you did deposit the money in mom's account you have to come forward and tell medicaid what happened and pay up anything you own them. i had suggested not telling medicaid until you figured all of this out. I was never suggesting to keep it but there are allowable expenses...don't get caught now...that will really disqualifity you for future benefits. time to get the ducks in order and report the facts to medicaid. in the meantime, talk to an elder law attorney about what you are allowed to spend the funds on per medicaid;
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shamir, your gut is telling you whats right. You need to call them and straighten this out because once they find out you could owe it all back, or worse, like who knows what could happen.Give them a call and just do it, its worth the relief of doing whats right. Good Luck
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PS you can make out a caregivers contract and get paid for taking care of your Mom with that money as a spend down. Then pay for funeral, supplies on what she needs, etc. Before you know it , the money wil be gone legally and she will qualify for medicaid again. Get to a lawyer, and use your Moms money for that.
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i don't know if you are allowed to pay yourself for the past but going forward you canwhich is why you need an attorney that knows medicaid rules inside and out. some portions of funeral not allowed...again, the attorney is needed so you use the money as medicaid allows. you don't want to be in hot water with them so get the attorney!!!! get the fee requirements of the attorney before they learn the amount of money your mom got from sissy..shop around and ask alot of questions on the phone
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