Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Thanks CTNN55. She has been living with me for 1 year and 1/2. I would love to walk away but that is unrealistic. The part that kills me is although my brother does nothing, she always talks about how much she loves him and refuses to believe that he doesn't want to be bothered with her. It is because of me that he is acting this way.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Thanks Sunnygirl. The fire was a result of bad wiring in the house which I had been going on for years but because of her frugality would not pay to have it repaired. Thank the lord some workers were there repairing the basement when the fire occurred and they got her out of there.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Just curious -- how long has she been living with you?

I think it's despicable the way you are being treated, and the way your brother is allowed to escape all responsibility.

Consider washing your hands of it all once her house is ready. Tell your brother it is HIS turn. Tell your mother it is HIS turn. Just because she believes you are supposed to take care of everything doesn't mean you have to do it!

Let her rant and let her rave...wash your hands of it and walk away.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

Dear glonjoe,

I hear you. I know its not easy being responsible for an elderly parent. The anger and resentment is real. I would talk to a social worker, therapist or counsellor and explore all your options. Or consider joining a support group. I wish I had done these things with my dad. Things were snowballing for me and I kept thinking I could do it, but in reality it wasn't working anymore. The anger had overtaken my judgement and compassion.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

It sounds like your expectations of your mom may not be realistic. With all the hurt you have suffered, it's probably very difficult to keep working to care for her and not getting any appreciation from her. I might read a lot about dementia, if that is what she has, and try to accept the realities of what she may be capable of doing.

How did her house catch fire? Was she alone? I'd be very cautious of leaving a LO with dementia in a house unsupervised. All kinds of things can happen, plus, they aren't able to care for themselves, past the early stage.

The behavior you describe is not uncommon for people with cognitive decline. I'd work with her doctor to see what level of care she needs. If she can't live alone, she can't live alone. There are ways to have her placed somewhere where she can get the care she needs. Once a LO in need gets the care they need, the stress, anger, confusion and exasperation seem to work themselves out. I wish you much luck.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter