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You need him to sign a durable and a medical POA for you to be able to legally help him. If he is either not willing or not able to sign, then you will have to file for guardianship.
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my father unable to make any decissions mentaly,where he use to work won't give me any info about his pension or anything he has no money for a lawyer he lives in
detroit,mich. what should I do file power of attorney or guardianship we do not hve much time he is very sick. please help
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I think if your brother were to die before you mother, then with no one designated as a back up POA and your not having the funds to pursue guardianship, then your mother would become a ward of the state and the state would become her guardian via someone. Google elderly parent becomes ward of the state and see what you find.
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cmagnum, a lawyer is something I can't afford, however I am told that some will allow for a free consultation of about 20 minutes or so, but how can one discuss something so important in 20 minutes? It seems I am forced to go this whole thing alone. My siblings won't help either me or our mother financially or otherwise. I have also tried to find pro bono attorneys in my area but they seem to be non existant... lawyers here are like a pack of wolves, they all stick together.
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sharkey, you need to get a lawyer and file charges.
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My father gave POA to a so-called friend he was living with in Florida. After she spent most of his money shopping, salon appts., and such, she put him into a nursing home. She still retains POA and is using his bank acct. for her personal use. She even cashed in his VA life insurance policy. How do my siblings and I put a stop to this?
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MyLadyAlexis, there is not a faster way than going through the court system to get guardianship. Have you seen a lawyer about this?
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Mollyandme - its been a while since I got back on here...any updates? Did court go OK? Hugs...
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Most POA or Advance Directives select an alternate person in the event the first person selected is unable to perform his or her duties under that document. Do you have a copy of those documents?
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I want to know if there is a faster way to get guardianship when a parent is suddenly stricken with an illness and may be near death??
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CininCO - all I can think of is get your evidence all together and call Adult Protective Services! Alcohol and some meds are a deadly combo and if you can definitely show this is the case, it ought to be enough to get them to act. Bless you for caring enough to try to fight this battle!!
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My dad is currently living with my sister because his wife is spending all his money and so they got evicted from their apartment. All 4 of my dad's kids (including me) believe that his wife has a gambling problem, so she is giving him beer and sleeping pills so that he is too out-of-it to realize that she is spending his retirement check on "who knows what" each month. She has POA and guardianship due to some dementia. Now that the time of month has come around that she needs to have my dad in tow to get his check, she wants to come get my dad from my sisters. We believe that he is possibly in danger due to the pills and alcohol. We are going to pursue guardianship, but we cannot do that before she comes to get him. Can we get some kind of temporary guardianship quickly if we think his life is in danger?
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Do you think that by going to court as her caregiver I can obtain guardianship? Our court date is October 3rd. My sister has a record of bouncing her checks and refusing any contact with her and we are trying to remove her as power of attorney in court.
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Mollyandme, you may be in a hard place, because legally, a POA can sell a person's assets for them if they become incompetent, or if they agree to it. I suppose as health care proxy, you could refuse to allow her to be admitted to the nursing home; POA person is responsible for paying bills. IF she were competent, she could change the POA to you, if she wanted. When she runs out of money, if there are no penalty periods for "gifting" of the house that is in the trust, she could get Medicaid and some states have community-based services they will pay for. POA can be taken away by a court if it has been abused or its terms are not being met by the person who has it; a lot depends on your individual state, and a lot depends on how exactly the POA and health care proxies are written.
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My sister's have the POA and have taken. My brother-in-law has her money and house in trust and she only has her social security and pension. I am her caregiver and live with her and they hate me and do not speak to me. When she runs out of money, they will not give her any. I am going to court for guardianship, as they do not want anything to do with her. They have tried to sell her house and put her in a nursing home. I am her health care proxy. Where do I stand?
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Trying to get med-ical for my mom and having trouble getting a statement of her retirement . She is not able to write or understand what a conservator is at all. I need to get the papers in soon to finish her med-iCal , what do I do please help.
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I have a legal appointment with our family concerning my husband's placement in a nursing. I am the spouse. My one daughter is the financial executor for our wills. Is it necessary for her to be there to discuss this placement?
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I have a brother who is an alcoholic, disabled Viet Vet, keeps being homeless, drinks himself almost to death and ends up in ICU's, signs himself out of the hospitals, nursing homes, etc. against medical advice. Got a girlfriend 30 years younger taking all his money for her new car and her rent, utilities, etc. Help us we are a big family don't know what to do!!!!!!!
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If I live in NY and my Dad lives in NJ. Is it practical for me to be his guardian when there are other family members in NJ? How often do you have to go to court and where would this court be? (Which state) Can a NY lawyer take care of this issue?
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The decision has been made by my mother children (4) that a guardian needs to be appointed for her. We have decided which one would take on this responsibility and she is willing (already in this role--just not legally documented). We have checked with a lawyer and his fee is too expensive for handling of this matter ($1500.00). We could do the paper work ourself but we are unable to locate the form. Can you direct me to the correct website for this form.
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my husband's mother is accusing us of stealing from her, she is making wrong decisions about money and is paranoid about us helping her even though his other two brothers do not want to help. She has been diagnosed with dementia
we do not know what to do and do not think she will sign a power of attorney.
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my Dad has lived with us for a few months, we have paid for everything his care in our home,meds,gas,back and forth to doctors apptments.he is also paranoid with his money.and he has dementia.he gets a monthly income thats not much but hes not paying for anything.we have a case worker and he told her he could handle his own money..Hes ready to lose his home because of back taxes.i ask the case worker about guardian ship.but she said shes waiting for the lawyer to call her back.mean while hes going to lose everything.The hospital release him in my care.cause they said he could not care for him self.am i responsible for all this?I want to help him feel like my hands are tied.what am i to do HELP!
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Abdea - consider calling Adult Protective Services, and/or an eldercare lawyer. It is NOT legit to make someone sign things if they are not competent.
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I have two parents with mental problems and I'm the only child. The dad is a Sociopath/bully and very narcissistic. They are 89 and 78 years old. He ---is doing Trusts and 30-year Edward Jones stuff to keep the money away from Mom, even if he dies. Even if he dies, and she out lives him, She will get nothing.! She just signs her life away so that he will continue to love her. HA HA Sociopaths love no one. And I do not know how to help her. I wish there was a way to get Guardianship over HIM. Because Mom doesn't care. All she is concerned with is staying in her own home.
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Guardian ship is suppoed to require the person to be given notice that it is being done and having an opportunity to contest it. If someone is already beign dishonest it would not supirse me that they might try to trick the judge into granting it witout going through the correct procedures, and someone needs to help Mom contest it. Sister's POA can and should be revoked if the financial abuse can be substantiated. Almost every POA has that built into it. Guardianship is a very serious matter - not that POA itself is not a serious responsibility - and neither should not go to someone who does not have the person's best interests in mind.
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your sister is filing for guardianship because someone turned her in for basically fraud and she is going to court before a judge? HAAAAA, can I come? This should be interesting. You for one need to present the information to the judge about the fraud. I can't imagine him or her being real pleased to see that.

Reminds me of my poor aunt years ago. She had been taking care of her child after her bum husband left her just weeks after the child was born. He didn't pay child support and for some stupid reason went to court with my Aunt claiming he was taking his son. Of course the son was several years old by this time. Not only did he not get his son but had to pay my Aunt thousands of dollars back pay for child support.. Haaaaaaa

Note to you sister: Be careful what you wish for.
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In ref to Madge 1 - sister is filing for guardianship in retaliation for being reported to soc svcs for providing false info on medicaid financial forms. Said mother had no money/assets and needed medicaid to pay all nursing home expenses except for mothers retirement checks. There was money taken from mother's savings account and hidden. Not sure if a judge will buy into their story for the need for guardianshp because I don't know what they will claim to be the need. I guess I will be in the dark until the court hearing unless they are required to provide info. I really do not know what to expect. Anyone been there - done that?
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Why is your sister filing for guardianship if she has the POA? She needs to realize that she will be under the watchful eye of the courts if she gets guardianship.Is your Mom incompetent? She will have to be ruled incompetent by the court.

As for you getting a lawyer, I don't know but would think not. For you to contest the guardianship would be a pain in the butt to your sister. So by all means contest it.
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If yiu want to contest a guardianship do you really need a lawyer? Can you complete the necessary forms yourself and go to the appointed court date? I don't have the money for an attorney and my sister is using my mother's money to file for guardianship. (She has the POA) Doesn't sound fair to me.
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I did pay the attorney fees from my mother's money. If you do not have anyone contesting your guardianship, you probably won't have to pay as much. You would have to check with your attorneys if you think it will take awhile to pay them. The courts were happier having a conservator (to be responsible for my mother's money) and a separate guardian. My brother and I do work closely together although now my mother doesn't have much money left. We are required to do a yearly report. I do one as guardian and just report what I am doing with my mother now and what I plan to do to keep her safe and happy. There is a specific form that I complete and must mail it to the state, the guardian ad lidem and each one of my siblings. My brother does a report on the finances. He has to account for all activity from her account. It is much simpler now than it was when we first started. There is also a form for this and each withdrawal or deposit must be accounted for. I do keep every receipt for medicine, doctors, dentists, miscellaneous and etc. My mother was also very paranoid about her money although she did not have a lot. I hope this helps.
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