Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
My heart goes out to you. My mom is a similar version of your mom. I'm in the second year of dealing with her demands..... She is back at her house until unable to live on her own. She can have tantrums by herself. My sib will have no part of her. It turns out my much younger sister was treated poorly when I left for college and rarely went back.... I do not stay on the phone when she gets historical. I send a calm email with just the facts and get on with my life. I have food delivered. Our mental health has to come first. We have to be healthy to be there for our mates, kids and yes our mothers....Trust your instincts. Guilt is how they get their way.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Imho, my heart goes out to you, truly.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

It does not sound like a healthy situation for you and your family to have mother in your home. Do some research and find out what assistance is available in your area for mother. Prepare yourself and then sit down with her and include sibling(s). Lay it out for her she can move home or assisted living, do not give her the option of staying with you or anyone else. Tell her you let her stay to help her adjust but the time has come and you are no longer able to continue to care for her in the same manner. Give her a move out date & stick to it. Make plans to go away with your family, even if it’s for a day. Make it clear that you will not be home and she needs to be settled somewhere else. Don’t let her guilt you, if she throws a fit walk away.

You need to do what is best for you, your spouse and your children. This is an important and difficult time in their lives and they do not need the added stress of dealing with your mother and her behaviors.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Rtmontoya2, I think you have posted this question because you are looking for permission from this forum to say no to your mother and her demand that she live with you permanently. I hope you can see from the replies that you have that permission!! From your description she is abusive towards you and is wrecking your family life - and that is not acceptable. Perhaps she has been like this all your life, and whilst you might have spent a lifetime accepting/enduring this, you don’t have to! The crying when challenged is yet more emotional manipulation. When this happens, ignore it - you will soon see whether those tears are real or not. Your mother seems to feel no guilt for her behaviour and you certainly shouldn’t feel guilt for wishing to live in your home free of abuse and manipulation. Suggest she moves back to her home and that if she can’t live independently then she will need to go into a care facility.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter