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I assume Mom has been making your lives in your home miserable, as well as breaking family ties?
AND, I bet the agreement that your sibs would help out, and in what ways, when, was only verbal?

Your husband makes very good sense!
He is also giving you an ultimatum: He is telling you Mom must leave....the spoken or IMPLIED ultimatum says "or I will leave you".
You need to clarify this with him.
Talk with him about his feelings on this.
Learn if he has been avoiding telling you things relevant to living with Mom from his perspective.
Ask him what he fears about it, or if Mom has been giving him grief behind your back, or???
It may also mean the 2 of you need some counseling, to help repair your relationships before things spin too far off-kilter.
Get that help!
We learned that, thanks to Obamacare, we now have UNlimited counseling both thru my HMO plan, and thru my spouses' VA medical--which is a vast improvement from the insurance companies only allowing 6 to 12 counseling visits annually--I think it is that way now, thru all insurance plans?

WE took Mom into our home: she BEGGED us to move her up to our place
--even though we had less income and tinier house than any of the other sibs.
I suckered for her pleadings--none of the others at that time, stepped forward.
Later, my sibs made numerous comments about "you didn't have to move mom to your place, she could have come live with us!"
Of course, by then, Mom had been feeding them "horror stories" she made up about living here. The sister who was most vocal about taking Mom then, had also been the one to totally remove all bedroom furniture from their spare room, making it into a different kind of use, after Mom had stayed there for only a few months--then making lame lying excuses for that maneuver!

NOTHING you can do will undo what Mom has done to break up family relations.
Consider that family relations were fragile to start with.
Your Mom may have no idea her words/actions achieved that breakage, since she was probly so deep into trying to get what she believes is her needs met, she never realized consequences of her lies;
WORSE, she DOES know, and it gives her a false sense of power and control, which she revels in [mine did], and will keep escalating to keep feeling that rush of power and control.
Like children, elders who have lost much [literally & figuratively], will seek attention, even bad attention, just to get close to what they want in their imaginations.

ALSO, genuinely close family relations, can usually survive things like an elder's dementia or misbehaviors, and keep their bonds.
HOWEVER, those with fragile family bonds, as in dysfunctional families, and/or when there are problems with mental health, addictive behaviors, etc., are very fragile relationships, and will break, often for good, in the face of things like this.

Elders tend to sit -isolated- way to much, allowing them to manufacture stuff in their head, then act on it as if it is true----it is, in their mind!
IF it has not gotten too far advanced, it might be almost possible to get the elder involved in socializing with her peers, to divert them from thinking it's all your fault [whatever that might be].
BUT, if she has dementia, or other common mental/emotional or addictive behaviors,- isolating- (where she stays in her room or otherwise keeps to herself and refuses hugs, refuses verbal conversation, etc) , is hard to change.

IF IT SEEMS there has already been too much damage in your family, it will pretty much keep getting worse, like a runaway train.
When it has gone so far as to split family members up, it would be difficult,
and more like throwing yourself against a brick wall, to try anything to fix it
--besides, you cannot fix someone else, only yourself.
You can still help YOUR immediate family before things get worse.

You might do very well to get help from Social Workers, and/or the "Area Agency on Aging" in your area.
Make sure other officials know what your circumstances are.

SUGGESTIONS:
1. ONLY communicate with siblings and resource people in writing, or with a witness of your choice present; or at least keep a diary of daily contacts, times, and content of conversation.
2. GET a tiny micro-cassette recorder, keep on you at all times, and record Mom's and siblings verbals; keep them in a file in case you need them.
This is not just to "catch them" in their behaviors,
AND, this ALSO helps YOU to hear what it sounds like--both what Mom or your sibs say, as well as what you say back and forth.
You would be surprised how different it sounds on tape, and how one can see the conversation differently, by listening to it on tape.
You might discover your own need to get your own verbals back on a better track, or might discover new ways to communicate better.

3. Write a formal business letter to your siblings, and send it "return receipt requested"
By taking this formal measure to enlist them into Mom's care,
they will do one of a few things:
they will refuse to accept the letter; they will accept it, but refuse to answer it; or they will answer it.
(2 of my sibs refused it; 1 waited until it was about to be returned unopened to pick it up then never answered it; the 4th received it immediately, but didn't answer it--and denied she'd gotten it when we spoke by phone the Monday after).

THE LETTER I wrote was at a Social Worker's suggestion, had all their names/address/phones across the top, like a business letter.
CONTENT is SIMPLE: cover things needing joint decision making
(I knew my sibs would never do it, because they far preferred to do verbal since they could play the "plausible deniability" game at me--say one thing one time, totally different next time--That was one of Mom's favorite games, and my sibs played it extremely well.
INCLUDE THINGS LIKE:
1. What type of mortuary/funerary preferences do you feel are what Mom wants? a. cremation; b. donation to science; c. embalm or not? d. burial where? e. Other?
2. WHO do you want to be the POA or Executor of Mom's estate?
a. All of us together; b. One? [who?]___c. Outside representative [who?]
3. IT IS immediately necessary to find a more suitable place for Mom to live;
we cannot keep her in our home any longer than it takes to find a more suitable place. (You do NOT owe them any explanation for this change!!)
a. Do you want Mom living under your roof with you? b. Do you want her to stay in an elder care facility near you? c. Do you want her to move to an elder care facility near me?

INCLUDE: whatever other questions you need, for your circumstances, to get caretaking of Mom clarified amongst you and your sibs, in writing
I made mine so they only had to circle a choice and return a copy of the letter with their answers on it: a copy returned to to me, so it was clear I could not be seen as having changed their answers!

Letter is:
LIMITED to: facts, data, specifics to do with Mom's care.
LEAVE OUT: emotional descriptors, accusations, feelings.

You will need to give them about a month
--check with the post office to learn how long it takes before the USPS returns a rejected "return receipt requested" letter.
KEEP the return receipts and the letters that get returned in a file.

At a certain point, ONE of them will likely jump to a sudden "rescue"
--that is, they may pull a sudden "move mom to a safe" place maneuver, based on Mom's accusations that you are doing her harm.
One of my sisters swooped into town [from 3 States away!], pulling a 007 maneuver--keeping it secret to the last minute. But I knew something was going on by how they acted, and a few cues given.
So I was almost prepared for someone to show up, and they did by the end of the 1st week after that letter was received.

PUT YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW as much as possible BEFORE you mail that letter. BE PREPARED: Estranged Siblings will not likely try to patch things up with you--they will keep to themselves.
Acknowledge your losses, and allow yourself to grieve.
Leave your "door open" so to speak: let THEM be the ones who cut communications: YOU always make sure they have a way to communicate with you by email or letter
--avoid phone conversations.
Part with them by saying things like:
"I wish you well", and,
"Please keep me updated on Mom's health and welfare, I care deeply."
Just know, it is common for broken family members to stay broken.

Keep breathing.
You are in good company of many who have been through stuff like this.
It WILL get better.
You WILL feel like laughing again.
Focus on putting your immediate family back together as healthy as you can.
Get help if you need to.
Keep us posted about your progress!

{{{hugs!}}}
Chi








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My heart goes out to you. It sounds like your mom might have a little dementia. My mom too was telling my family members that we were taking things from her, that we are liars and this and that that normally would not come out of my mom's mouth. She was acting a little off so we had her diagnosed and it came back as the beginnings to dementia. Just remember that it is the disease and not your mom talking as hard as that is. My mom has lived with use for four months now also and I never thought it would be so hard. I love her so much but she also is very demanding. Almost 50 and still lays a pretty good guilt treatment on me. :( Anyway, she is moving back in with my younger sis because we are in high altitude and she can't breath well here. Filled with such guilt.....on the one hand I am ready to have my life back...on the other, she is my mom who did everything in her power to make us happy growing up, and I can't even take care of her in her last years of life? What kind of a daughter am I? Have told my kids to put me in a nursing home and don't feel guilty about it. I wouldn't put them thru this. God be with you and your husband and kids. Love your mom, she will be fine. :)
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Your husband and your children come first. My mom threw me down for her mother. She made sure her mother had everything she needed. i got the scraps. I still hold that against her after all these years. Do you want your children to think you have thrown them down for your mother.? They need you. A child needs their mother. A mother with grown children doesn't need the same nurturing a child needs. This is a sad situation. Your kids need both a mother and father. Don't let this become a broken home because of your mother. If none of the others want her, try to get her placed in a home. There are resources out there to help you. You are young to be going thru this. Try to put your family first. Your mother has other children and other places she can live.
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Your husband and children come before parents, extended family, etc. Please don't let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise. This is in the Bible, by the way. God does not expect any of His children to put up with abuse - if someone is telling you otherwise, they are lying. You have a duty to protect your own health, your family life - this always comes before any duty to parents. Our responsibility to parents is simply to help them in case of destitution. Nothing more...We are not responsible for making them happy, for going along with their preferences about where they are going to live (unless they are entirely financing and handling themselves, in which case that is their business). First thing to do is inform family that Mom is not going to continue to live in your home - and follow the advice about not explaining, arguing, giving reasons. This is your decision that you have the right to make and they have no say in it. Therefore, no discussion. Also, warn Mom that things are changing so she had best cooperate in finding alternative living arrangements. But make sure that she understands that your decision stands - she is not going to change your mind, any foot dragging or argument on her part will not result in her continuing to live with you. You would be wise to not depend at all on your siblings. It is unfair, but this is one of those things where you need to have control, to be in the driver's seat. You might read the posts by Survived2 about this type of situation with her mother. It reached the point where she had to have Mom evicted, an extreme measure, but it saved her sanity, and her family. No need to feel guilt - You have done your best by Mom, but she does not appreciate it - so she needs to take charge of her life, and stop manipulating others. God bless.
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Chimonger, I really appreciated your post. Good, practical ideas for dealing with a miserable, emotional situation. What do you recommend after you say that Mom can't live her any longer? How would you advise handling this if Mom refuses to look for alternatives, makes it clear she is not going to cooperate or tries to stonewall?
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Here is a question that I haven't seen addressed by you or others. Does your mother have the funds to be placed in a facility? As far as others suggesting you insist on help from your siblings, good luck with that--they have disassociated themselves with her, so that is of no value to this young woman. What I do agree with is your right to your life, and to provide a happy home for your husband and children. It is a shame you got snookered into this, but let's have someone on this site give you some concrete suggestions as to what can be done to place her in the event she does have some funds. Also, what has your mother said to you? Has she said "I hate it here and I want out" much like my own mother said about my brother's house (she did move out) or does she feel as though she has no other options whether she likes it there or not? Why did you take her in, was she ill? Lost her home or lease? Does she have financial security? If she does NOT, perhaps she may qualify for medicaid assistance? I don't know where you live, but try to give a little more information. There are many people on this site who have excellent resources and suggestions, but give a little more info about finances, is your mother of sound mind, how your mother feels about living with you and also, one last question. Does you mother communicate with your siblings presently? In the meantime, do not hesitate to let your mother know that it is your home, and your husband and children come first and she is going to have to understand that, under no uncertain terms. Trust a few of us on here who can tell you that the manipulation and entitlement of some parents can be all consuming. Sounds as though your siblings may be using psychology, protesting loudly and picking fights so that they would have an excuse to walk away and dump this on you, the sweet one. Good luck, honey. We're all thinking about you and waiting for more info.
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Your sanity and well being are at stake. Your mother sounds like mine. I have no brothers or sisters. I am 60 years old and have had my mother tell people untrue things about me and sometimes doing so as I walk into the room. She was in a rehab for a fall and she had an audience as she was living alone up until then.
Enough about my mother. I would call somebody for assistance to help you get her into a place and please do not feel guilty about it.
As for your siblings, stories like this make me feel releieved that I was the only one.
I always knew in my heart that if I had a brother or sister that my mother would have pitted us against each other. She likes to see people not content with life.
A very bad character flaw and it took me to this age to finally see it.
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To Rovana: Your post is really wonderful and it has made me feel much better about my own situation. I have always felt it is NOT a child's responsibility to take complete charge of parents' happiness, but many on this site will say we 'owe' it to our parents because they took care of US and gave us birth. Well, I have two children and I would never ever expect them to take care of me or insure my happiness and entertainment. I did my utmost but it continually flew in my face until this last spring when I finally said 'enough' and after she got into a lovely AL facility, I never saw or spoke to her again and it has been a lovely existence. I think 64 years of trying and crying is quite enough. So, thanks for the advice--I don't know if it helped this poor 26 yr. old young lady, but it certainly helped me. Sending you a hug.
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You should find out about your mother's financial situation. If she has limited funds, you need to go to Social Service and fill out an application for medicaid. You will need to get the Social worker to help you find a place for her to go. This will be based upon her needs for care. The others are going to get really mad at you. You do not need to listen to them. They are manipulating you into this situation by trying to make you do what they don't want to do. You need to do what is right for you and your family.Not what your brothers and sisters want YOU to do. It is your life and your business not theirs. If one of them want to take her into their home, fine,wash your hands of the whole deal and do not look back and blame yourself. You mentioned that you had not lived with her since you were 12. This was a bad situation to begin with. The others are just dumping on you. Don't take it anymore for the sake of your husband and children.
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@ Capemaywatch--much of the reason my mother was able to kick me to the curb after she got into her fancy AL facility was because when her needs were met, she had no use for me. Prior to that she had no qualms about calling me, whining and complaining about how mistreated she was at my brother's house! I feel so much better reading Rovana's post, that no one should have to suffer abuse. I don't understand why there is not great appreciation for someone who was always there for you, but I can tell you it is very hurtful. Mystique, you are WAY too young to be dealing with things like this and your husband being young wants his privacy and to enjoy his wife and family as any young man would, but I hope he does not burden you with any more undue pressure. It isn't going to help things much and only stress her more. Ask that he be patient and tell him you are seeking help to work it all out. Let him know that it is not helping you any for him to build anger about the situation. You being the kind person you are was much of the reason why he married you in the first place, I'm betting.
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matthew242424, NO GUILT IS ALLOWED IN THIS PLACE! take your damned freaking christian guilt and get the hell out. if it bothers you so much, you come right on and take her mother into YOUR house! people like you give Christ a black eye!

notice everyone how he never offers a solution? that's because pretend christians, the kind who offer nothing but shame and guilt, never do. all they offer is pain while they pretend to better than we are.

there are caregivers in this place who are honest, loving, caring, true Christian men and women, you will know them by the LOVE they show.

this man is false through and through and he and his ilk disgust me beyond all measure. be gone you demon!
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Wow, matthew242424, you sure know how to give religion a bad name.
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Have ya'll ever noticed that it is the Bible thumping shaming Christians that are never wrong, have no room for others ideas or beliefs, and will get the most angry when challenged...Guess my loving caring forgiving God allows these folks on here to make us grateful we are just mere mortals walking a path of trying to do the right things for the right reasons..... and PamelaSue, I loved your comment," you will know them by the Love they show...".... doesn't mean we have to be brow beat into hellfire and brimstone..... There is also Karma matthew, you get back what you throw out in the world... I'll pray for you, you need the prayers and I need the practice...nuff said...
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ladee well put I can only hope he takes his venom someplace else-I am a commited christian but he reallt gets on my last nerve.
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Thanks for replying. Gee, I never had brothers or sisters, now I don't feel so bad about that. Don't let them get you down. You are doing the right thing. If possible, try to give your younger sister a break every once in while, as it sounds like she is stepping in a hornets nest too. Families are a blessing........sometimes. Hope you and your husband can get away for a few days after this is done. Somehow, I feel this isn't all over yet. Blessings.
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Comment to suzmarie. Before I would judge this husband too severely I would say consider that this situation can put such an enormous strain on a marriage that it is within the realm of reasonable that at some point he has to put his foot down. He has allowed this woman, who was not very good to her daughter growing up, into his home and has taken on her care as well. Anything you do when married should be
'done' together. His privacy, his wife's attention and his ability to give her his attention, is all greatly restricted when a person is brought into the home. Again, as a married couple, that relationship must come first, because children need to be in a loving and stable home. Very often, parents believe that all their lives - because "I gave you life" - their children are indebted primarily to them. I believe that as parents we are called to take on the full responsibility of raising our children, our gifts from God, and then they move on, grown up and do the same for their kids. Helping parents doesn't mean letting them suck the lifeblood from your marriage and separate existence as an adult.
A family acquaintance of mine once had her mother, who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, come live with her. At the time she had a 12 year old son at home and was married. Their home was such that the master bedroom was on the main floor and two small bedrooms were upstairs. The husband and wife vacated their own room for her mother, who couldn't climb stairs. Her prognosis was about 4-6 months. With the wonderful care this woman gave her mother, she lived over 2 years. By the time she passed away (I was there with them that day) this caregiver's hair was falling out, she was having severe anxiety attacks, pulled her shoulder out and barely could move it from lifting and bathing her mother, and she and her husband were constantly 'at' each other. Their son took to things like super gluing the coffee pot to the counter and slashing tires in the neighborhood. The stress was so huge that, even with Hospice to help and other family and friends, a counselor finally was brought into the picture who advised her that she needed to get her mother out of there. Really, had she known that it would be over two years I am certain they would have figured something out differently. Her mother had very little money so Medicaid would have definitely been the way to go, in a nursing home close by with her 'being there' to make sure she was well cared for. And once someone is 'in' it is very hard to get them out. There are very good reasons to have boundaries and to say "this is what I can do, nothing more" honestly. If other people judge you or talk about you it really doesn't matter. It is YOUR life.
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Thank you Ladee. *smile*
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I feel a need to defend Christianity against Matthew...the Bible simply does not say what he says it does. We are to HONOR our parents, and destroying ourselves and our families does not honor them; we are to cleave to our spouses and we are to live peaceably with others AS FAR AS IT DEPENDS ON US which is not necessarily to the point of accepting all kinds of abuse to oneself and other innocent family members, especially children. It is true that prayer may bring us to answers that we have not thought of, and I can't count the times I have done all I could come up with and was given what was really needed instead... Matthew, PLEASE don't be assuming your interpretation is always right, I have learned I have been wrong many times, and it can come across as so hateful!
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Amen, vstefans!

(((((((((MystiqueMay)))))))))))) how are you and yours doing. I can only support that husband and children come first, and as for siblings - if they are not true friends too, then you are better off to detach and distance, and create more family by gathering around you the people who do care.
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Mathew24242424, she has enough on her plate without being guilted by you or the word of Christ. The Bible does say that your family comes first, i.e., husband and children. When your daughter marries she becomes whole with her husband and children and leaves the parent's nest. I am not saying she should abandon her mother, but if she is not well, who will take care of her mother. Taking care of someone 24/7 is incredibly hard and stressful on its own. I can't even imagine working and going to school at the same time while taking care of my family. Sometimes if you don't know or haven't lived it you should keep your comments to yourself. I live it and I can tell you from experience it affects every part of your life. This site is for positive support, not the guilt treatment. We have enough of that without you adding to it.
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DEAR matthew24242424,

Clearly, facilities are not perfect, but those are what we have.
Some are better than others.
Facilities can do the heavy/difficult care families cannot, for elders with problems families are simply not equipped to handle.
This can allow a graceful distance in which family limits their visits, which can potentially help them develop memories of a few "nice" conversations or events during visits, so they have something nice to remember of that person when they are gone, instead of only the bad memories of how that person caused harm, drilled into their brains.

Please take heed:
One of my Great-Gma's had an attitude kinda like yours, matthew24242424.
Stuck with an abusive husband, for over 60 years, brow-beaten by her church to stick with him. Their 3 children grew up with abusive behaviors to one degree or another, and perpetrated them to their children.
I still have a letter she wrote, saying she didn't understand why my Gma couldn't stick with her son, Gma's husband, despite him trying to cut Gma's throat in sober anger. [no, GreatGma didn't mention that in the letter--that event was told to me by Gma while explaining how the scar got on her neck].
Gma managed to stay with her abusive spouse until their 2 kids were teens
--just after the throat cutting incident, when she said "that's enuf!!".
She tried all she could to keep that marriage together, unwittingly subjecting the kids [my Mom and Uncle] to the turmoil and damage that kind of relationship causes.

Mother brought some of those abusive behaviors forward from generations before her, despite trying to prevent them [so did my Uncle], and a twisted need to have a husband who would "do battle" with her [she found him on the 3rd try; she divorced away 2 husbands before finding the 3rd guy].
Mom was damaged from growing up in an abusive household and extended family, compounded by the church mandates to honor parents, etc. guilting---it helped escalate her bipolar behaviors, caused her to develop split personalities, and started her onto substance abuse. Uncle had abusive dysfunctional behaviors, alcoholism, ended up losing a wonderful family, and died from his alcoholism, nearly alone.

Abuse is NOT protected by any "turn the other cheek" rule, either.
NO! Biblical advice never says to stay with abusive partners, NOR to keep a parent in your home who is causing destruction of / in the family unit.
Jesus and other spiritual teachers of good standing, NEVER told anyone to become a martyr in any way that caused harm to others.
That sort of guilt-tripping is terribly dysfunctional, and has to stop, if humanity is going to truly improve.
Churches, groups or individuals that promote that kind of guilt-tripping are destructive of families, people and society; this has caused harm for generations, those who promote it are in the game for their own power and control.
PLEASE save yourself from that kind of disaster!
LOVEing someone also means loving yourself.
Loving someone, as a good parent must do while bringing up children, also includes being able to set limits on childish behaviors in elders, and including recognizing when one cannot provide adequate care for their elder.

IF the family or person is being harmed by having to provide care for a sick elder, the elder needs a more suitable place to live, out of that family.
As one Gma used to say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder".
Giving the elder proper care in a facility, or at a different family member's home, is better than allowing the situation to destroy people who can no longer withstand constant verbal, mental and emotional abuse from an elder they are trying to care for, or being physically and financially wiped out from single-handed 24/7 caregiving.

Helping an elder get proper care in a facility, IS taking the high road of providing proper care--of both the elder and the family they come from--that is LOVE--and LOVE is what Good Books from all time and all religions have taught.
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Hey everyone, check this out:

matthew24242424
Location: Los Angeles, CA

I am caring for someone, living at independent living.


he/she doesn't have to deal with or take care of his/her parents on a daily basis, he/she has no real idea of the genuinely hard work all of you do. this nasty mean rotten pretend christian has no business telling any of you anything.

so don't listen to him/her. ignore and report all comments that use religion to preach for they are against the rules in here.
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Matthew, you sure barked up the wrong tree, coming here and proselytizing like this. The God I worship is a kind and merciful God and knows your heart better than you know it yourself. When you take your marriage vows, you CLEARLY say that you will forsake ALL OTHERS. Your husband comes before anyone and anything else and vice versa. Try to keep in mind as well that not everyone has caring and loving parents, either. Though you may not know this or possibly relate to it, there are some parents who have abused their children verbally, physically, for their whole lives, and separated themselves from their children. As another poster said on another topic, the only obligation you have as a child is to provide in the case of destitution. You do what you can, but you still keep your own spouse and children first. There are situations that prevent even the most well-meaning child to take in and care for a parent or parents. Try to remember that and practice true Christianity. We NEVER sit in judgment on this site NOR do we ever boast about how superior we are because of taking care of a parent.
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PS to Matthew--for a Christian, you should have already known that calling someone "Sweetheart" was a sarcastic and condescending way to address Mystique. You can easily look at the topic post and see the person's name. If this is the kind of attitude that your church perpetrates, then you are in the wrong kind of church. Tolerance, acceptance of everyone, and allow God to do the judging.
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Matthew....you've been reported again. I'll keep reporting your nasty posts every time you make one until you're banned. Booted. See ya. I've never seen someone more mean or ignorant.
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Matthew: I have a hard time believing that God would want you for his representative. You are a heartless fool with only one message. And I wonder how good a job you did taking care of anyone. You are so focused on your so called word of God that it is hard for me to believe that you could ever understand a fellow human being.

I have never reported another person on this site, but I have reported you. You are a sick person. You give no comfort, just lectures. Please enjoy your lectures, but keep them to yourself. If you are a man, my guess is someone else did all the work while you sat on your fat biblical ass and preached. Go away and as the scripture says, F**f off.
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i am reporting him/her too. i would like to say i have never met a more disgusting person passing themselves off as christian, but that would be a lie.
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Mystique--I just read your post from a few days ago that a sister is taking your mother. I am so glad to hear someone stepped up to the plate to help out--something I did not think would happen from your original post. They still need to band together to share some of the work entailed and ultimately, if it becomes a case of her needing round the clock care, they will ALL see how it impacts their lives. There are some parents that simply cannot be cared for at home, no matter how much you do not want to see them in a facility. Good luck--hope you and your husband get any and all help you need to get your marriage and family back on track.
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I feel so sorry for you. I took both my parents in and it was terrible! After my dad died, my mom continued to live with us for overa year. I have 6 siblings and none of them helped!! My husband had to do way more than his share of taking care of my parents including bathing, cooking, emptying nasty pots, giving enemas. He was so good to do anything to help me but it became overwhelming. One day he told me that he didn't enjoy coming home anymore. I hated he felt that way, but I too like you felt like I was caught in the middle. He hated my siblings for dumping all the responsiblity on us. We never got a break and we both worked full time. My mom had no money to hire help. I depended on my neighbor and father in law to help when we were at work. As a result, my husband ended up cheating on me. We are still together but look at the pain we have suffered all because my siblings would not help out. I finally moved her into an apartment for elderly and got her signed up for home health. I still have to go take care of her 2 to 3 days a week but it's much better than every day. You are so young and I agree that your husband and kids should come first. I didn't do that and I have regretted it. I just want to give you a hug because I know how you feel. You hang in there and I'll be praying for you.
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Heeheehee. Matthew? May I introduce you to the sistas of the KAW? You barked up the wrong tree!!!! Snicker snicker snort snort
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