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Have you read Atul Gawande's "On Being Mortal"? Lots of material to mull over about quality of life vs. longevity.

I believe that I've read that as dementia patients progress, their taste buds become dulled to many flavors except for sweetness.
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Rosiesmom Dec 2018
Thanks for both tips BarbBrooklyn. I have read Gawande's "On Being Mortal" and should look at it again. I am more interested in preserving her quality of life. I appreciate the information on taste buds as well.
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Would losing some weight allow your mom to live with you longer? Sounds like she is on the cusp of needing a lot of physical assistance to complete ADLs, which of course is much more difficult to provide safely to a larger person. I know I wouldn't be happy to be feeding a lot of carbs and empty calories to someone who would then be even more problematic for me to assist, lift, turn, etc.

On the other hand, as you say, food is one of her few pleasures left. And it is difficult to lose weight and perhaps maybe wouldn't really change the trajectory of your mom's life and care at this point. (For example, perhaps she will soon need to be in a facility anyway where trained staff and Hoyer lifts, etc. will be better able to take care of her than family at home.)

Difficult decisions! I think at the very least I would dump large amounts of the sweets when she is not around her hoard, leaving only token amounts left. I wouldn't feel any guilt about that.
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Rosiesmom Dec 2018
Thanks for taking the time to respond SnoopyLove. I appreciate your understanding of this dilemma.
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Rosie; Most of us would benefit from losing some weight, I'll bet!

What did the doctor say would be the beneficial impact of weight loss for mom? Better mobility? Is she diabetic? Better heart/lung function?

I would weigh your mom's quality of life carefully against generic weight loss. As you say, she has few pleasures left in life.

Is she seeing a geriatrics doctor?
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Rosiesmom Dec 2018
Thank you for your quick response. I guess I am trying to weigh quality of life with weigh loss. The primary detriment to her weight gain is that it places more weight on her very bad knee. She can hardly walk now, has become mostly sedentary, struggles with most ADL's and is becoming incontinent. She does see a geriatrician who comes to the house and he doesn't push her at all but will suggest things to me. I guess it is the enormity of feeling so responsible for her that has me in a quandary. My dad died this past May and also lived with me. He also had vascular dementia and also began eating a lot of sweets but he didn't have the weight or knee issue so I wasn't as concerned.
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