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Junie, I agree! That was such a sweet and touching story, so much that I've copied it down, if ever I should have the opportunity to reuse it, Grandaughters perhaps! A story like that, can be reworded and rewritten, several different ways! Your Dad was right, women are a gift from God! I hope you chose wisely, for whom to give your special gift to!
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Junie, that is SO awesome of your parents!! ...so THAT's how we are supposed to have done it! I have become gentler as I've gotten older and (at least marginally) wiser but did my share of yelling and putting my foot down when it seemed called for...kids are "grown" but parenting them is still in process I think and I can always do better.

Seriously, I was secretly worrying that you might be like my cousin who has a bad habit of at least publicly, and I think even privately, idolizing her parents who were at best unsupportive and harsh, and at worst oppressive and abusive if half the things she's told me are true. They were horrible to her when she married a guy who quickly proved to be just a gold-digger (identity theft, ruined her credit in a matter of weeks) and had cheated on her ON THEIR HONEYMOON - they took his side and were against the divorce. And it makes her just depressed, turning anger inward on herself instead. Her mom was a little worse than mine in a few ways. And it is not just a matter of trying to remember the things they did well or the times they did provide or show kindness better than the other times, but she really writes things like "they were the most wonderful parents and human beings ever."

But I digress. Look, here's the thing. If you really do decide that you need to be the caretaker, do it and be proud and be positive. I hope there is some help and respite out there for you; people do quote a statistic of around 30% or more of caregivers dying before their loved ones...but hey that gives you a 70% chance of having a life after caregiving, think of it that way. However we choose to try to see that our parents have love and care, whatever mistakes we make or avoid, we need to find some joy and pride in it whenever we possibly can and take care of our selves while we are at it as best we can. Hugs!
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nolo/legal-encyclopedia/how-income-trusts-help-if-you-have-too-much-income-medicaid.html
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Junie - what state are you in?
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junie56. Here in Florida there are assisted living facilities privately owned. They take the social security check as full payment. They only house up to 15 individuals Check out your area.
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Junie,
I have a 13 year old daughter and I wondered how in the future I could tell her if she wore something inappropriate without sounding judgemental. Your story about your father is absolutely the best I have ever heard. I want my daughter to think the same way when she starts to date. Hopefully many, many years from now.
Thank you so much for sharing.
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Junie, thank you for the delighful anecdote about your father (the "gift" speech). Most of us here get a lot of mileage out of rueful or ironic humor, but your story produces a genuine smile. No snark...no sigh....just a pure grin. Much needed. :-)
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