Duncan1171 Asked December 2022
Is there any financial recourse for me as my father's caregiver and him with his financial needs? We are really struggling to make ends meet. Any advice?
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Due to my father's bills and my bills that leave’s absolutely nothing for us. Neither of us can afford a Christmas for each other and I have 3 kids. It is a full time job just taking care of my father's wants and needs. Is there anywhere we can get Al help or at least a referral for possible help?
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Also, many of the counselors are unpaid volunteers and they only know as much as they are exposed to. Don’t be afraid to get multiple opinions. You will still need to do the work, however, at least you will get guidance.
P.S. With tax season coming, AARP has a free tax service in each state that can help you file your and your father’s federal and state taxes. They won’t do complicated returns (e.g. rentals), however they will do retirement income, social security income, w2 income, medical, etc. You don’t have to be above or below a certain income level to file with them. If you don’t mind waiting in a queue (sometimes large), they are a fast way to get a refund back on tax withholding and earned income credit. They are all trained tax preparers. If you are leery about electronic filing, they can give you the paperwork so that you can mail it in…at least they did 2 years ago.
In some places in Idaho for instance, they bring one free hot midday meal every single day and provide rides to appointments.
There are many untapped services. Food help, and other church help. Good luck and God bless!
They will also pay for the things he needs in his home to help with his care. They can also help with therapy and activities that might help your father. Things related to helping him physically or cognitively.
There are programs like this in every state. Please check to see what might be available for you.
Good Luck and God Bless you!
Next make sure you have a clear line between his wants and his needs in both of your minds. His needs are the things he can’t live or stay healthy without, his wants are a different story and you both need to start thinking about them this way. This applies both financially, physically and emotionally. This last one can be tricky because sometimes the emotional need is opposite of our natural instinct and sometimes our emotional need doesn’t line up with our loved ones. Financially speaking just separating the money may help with those wants from your dad because it enables him to budget himself a bit.
The next step is determining what is a medical need and what isn’t and if he has significant medical or personal care needs that have reached a need for help. Sometimes a referral from his doctor can accomplish this and sometimes a referral from the local Agency on Aging (or equivalent) is the way to go, it varies state by state. I can tell you that in my mothers case a social worker or nurse was sent out by the Agency on Aging and she did an evaluation with all of us, some basic questions of Mom for testing purposes and then made recommendations. She knew what was available via various departments and what Mom might qualify for based on both her medical issues and her financial state. In our case she suggested and initiated an application for Medicaid as well as setting us up with in home assistance through a program that covered it while waiting, then Medicaid took over covering the same services. Each state is different so you will have to investigate a bit, searching state website and making phone calls mostly (check with doctors office too) and just because the evaluator filled out the initial forms doesn’t mean I didn’t have to do a lot of work to get Mom Medicaid but we were assigned a case worker who was at least a point person and I wasn’t lost.
These are the things I would start with, good luck and Have a wonderful New Year!
Your father should be paying for his own care. Apply for Medicaid, then place him in a Medicaid licensed facility.
Then you need to apply for jobs to get you back to work.
Seek county assistance for help with your food, shelter and other assistance for you and your family's welfare until you find financial stability. The last think you want to face is homelessness.
I found your request after Christmas but for the New Year you could look into the following:
Was your father a Veteran? There is a program called "Aid & Attendance". It is NOT a given. In other words there is a lot of paperwork and it is a lengthy process. A social worker could assist you.
Also, some States allow you to get paid as a caregiver. Keep in mind though, I believe your dad would have to be or go on Medicaid? Not sure, but you can look into it. Also, please note: when it's your time for your dad to be with the Lord you will out of job. Would you want to be bereaved and also be conducting a job search the same week? So really think this through.
Some neighborhoods have a "Buy Nothing Project". I think it's fabulous. Basically it's people sharing in the neighborhood zip code what you no longer use and wish to give away for free. No money is exchanged. There is a website. It's great for someone starting out or someone with children. It builds Community.
Call on the Church. Every Sunday for the past 18 months and I mean every Sunday--Easter, Christmas Day (yes even Christmas Day) rain or shine Parishioners come and visit and bring mother Communion, a prayer and a Church Bulletin with news that is going on in the Parish. They stay for about 10-15 minutes but they are dressed up, with their own situations going on in their house/family, trying to help a fellow Parishioner.
What about remote work for you? I believe in the dignity of the worker. You certainly are working if you are caring for a sick dad and 3 children, however, could you work part-time remotely?
Down the road, if you worked for a college or university, your children would be educated for free.
Everything has gone up--groceries, utilities but don't get discouraged. There is always an answer. Can you bring help into the house through your dad's medical. Is there a spare room you can rent out? Work with what you have...I hope I was of some help.
The children need a childhood. Some of the local libraries have Museum passes for free admission to local Museum during school week. Can you sell stuff on ebay. Come the spring, plant a garden. Volunteer at a foodbank and I believe in turn they will give you food, I think? Make soups, have courage.
In closing, look up an article on the story in New York City, an Irish lady with 6 children "Mary's Scones". She fell on hard times and I won't spoil the ending but check it out online. It's amazing what you can do with your grandmother's scone recipe.
It's a New Year...A New Beginning.
Like already said the Salvation Army goes a gift drive to be able to give gifts to needy children, along with a lot of churches, although it may be late now for the church thing, as most do an "angel tree" and I believe names had to been turned in a while ago.
And once your father is on Medicaid you can work with a social worker to get your father placed in a facility that accepts Medicaid.
Also as far as this Christmas is concerned, remember it's not about the gifts anyway for you and your father. It's about being with those we love the most and celebrating the birth of our Savior.
Call your Area Agency of Aging for your father. They will be able to direct you to what you need to be doing regarding his care.
Best wishes.