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My Mother is in a memory care facility ,and all of the residents are confined to their rooms, and have been there about a month. There is very minimal contact with aids when she is brought meals. She doesn’t have a smart phone or computer by choice so the only way to contact her is to call her which we do everyday. Without any activities I can see mom going down hill. I would not move your Mom in until things are back to normal.
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I would not move her now. Tell the unhappy family members to grow up and deal with it. In my state, 25% of Covid deaths have been nursing home patients which is understandable. I have 2 family members in 2 different facilities that cannot be visited. I would not say that it is a death sentence but it could be a high risk environment as new cases are still being found. As to whether she could die alone, I think that could happen at any time anyway.
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Please keep in mind that facilities must allow family to visit (with protection) in compassionate care situations, according to the CDC, such as hospice or end of life. As a long-term care ombudsman, I would urge people to advocate for such visitations so that the loved one is not alone.
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
And, what about most of us 'kids' who are high risk ourselves for getting the virus? How wise would it be for us to put ourselves into the eye of the storm, so to speak, to visit loved ones in a COVID-19 infected community? It's a no win situation we're all faced with.
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My mother is living in Memory Care now and being pretty much isolated from the other residents, or at least 'socially distanced', and having to wear a mask when coming out of her room. She's been complaining non-stop, and hasn't seen us in about 5 weeks, which is not helpful at ALL. The regular Assisted Living section of the home has all the residents in their rooms at all times.

Now is NOT the time to move your mother anywhere, for obvious reasons. She will likely have a horrible time adjusting to such a situation, and who wouldn't??

If you're able to keep her home for now, do so, that's my suggestion. Most of us who have loved ones in residential care homes are feeling like we'll never get to see them again before they die. And if the virus does hit their facility, they can die without loved ones nearby to hold their hands or any of the usual end-of-life things that happen under normal circumstances. Everyone posting here is feeling guilty for having their loved ones in such a home to begin with. Don't add yourself to those statistics!
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SonOutOfState Apr 2020
Lealonnie1, thanks for the response. My younger sister says it would be "cruel and unusual, possibly a death sentence". I wouldn't go that far as mom literally lives in her own world and typically sleeps 14-16 hours a day. That said, if there were to be an outbreak in the facility and mom were to die alone, that would be heartbreaking. And the differences between us siblings might become permanent.

She is in Ga and even though the Gov has started lifting some restrictions, the facility is saying that they will stay in place until they get an 'all clear' from the CDC, and who knows when that may be. Thanks again!
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