My LO keeps asking about her mother every day (her mom died 14 yrs ago ) When I tell her that she calls me a liar, won't talk to me.. I'VE TRIED TO CALM HER BY telling her about things from the past we did with her mom. I just don't know where to go or what to do anymore ..Any answers ?
Although I can't add anything more to what both "AlvaDeer" and "angelarochon" have already said, I think their suggestions are good ones to try. I'd be curious to know when her mother actually did die 14 years ago, how did your wife handle it? Was she accepting of it at the time? If not, and she never came to terms with it maybe that's why she keeps asking.
I do understand that it's part of the disease so it won't change which you'll need to find a way to accept. Just remember the saying "quit doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result." It just doesn't work that way and since you KNOW she's not going to change her thinking, you will have to change how you handle it. Also, know there will come a day when she won't even be able to ask about her mother anymore. So even though it seems like forever, it's only temporary!
keep it as something that could have happened recently. Talk about her grandchildren or what they had for dinner together. Stuff like that
If she doesn't want to hear she died, then don't say it. Make an album of pictures with her, of her mother. Big letters on the front MY MOTHER. Pictures inside of the family, heavy on Mom. When she asks when she will see her, lie. Say she cannot be here now; how hard that must be because you both miss her.
There honestly may never be a good answer to this. Soon enough she may think that YOU are her mother. This is the disease and there honestly isn't an answer to it or help for it. I am so sorry you are both going through this.