How should I respond when my Mom ask the same questions over and over? She typically ask if her husband died, which he did 6 months ago. She asks over and over. Later she may ask who he was. Another day it may be where is my cat? She will ask every few minutes for hours. The cat is only in the yard which my mom knows. Should I answer every time she ask or ignore her? She gets really angry so I do not want to make it worse.
The question about her husband dying is different. You could use a little white lie about that one so she doesn't get upset. I worked for a lady who would ask about her husband who died every few minutes. We used to tell her that he's in rehab and can't come home yet. If we'd answered that a dozen times in a matter of minutes, we would stop answering it that day and she would stop asking it. Same with the other questions.
Best wishes to you during this journey.
My YB used to drone on and on, providing way too much information. Between hearing loss and dementia, it was pointless. Maybe he just likes to hear himself talk! Not long after he'd finish his response, she'd ask again. I asked why he uses such a long response, but didn't really get an answer. That might work with kids, as they get older and can process explanations, but not with dementia!
each. Where is Mama? Is this my house? I did say her Mama and siblings were fine and happy. That seemed to help.
Also tried to get her interested in tv
show to talk about. That worked better to get her mind off family that
have passed.
Give answer you feel comfortable repeating as well. Sometimes you can redirect.
Dad asks about others that have died, especially repeating about how mom died is painful.
Dad loves Elvis songs and they do put his mind in a quieter places...especially the hymns.
So, we often experience the looping of the same few questions over and over. I just answer each one as if it’s the first time she asked. At first it was pretty frustrating, but we are so used to it by now that it’s almost routine and expected.
We have found that she gets especially anxious when she has an appointment or something scheduled. She sees it on the calendar and starts looping questions (who am I seeing? why? where is it? do you know how to get there? etc.).
What has helped is writing her schedule for each day on a sheet of paper and taping it to the kitchen table, where she sits most of the time. We include time (including our departure time), appointment (dr/specialty), location, etc ~ so when she starts looping, we tell her refer to her schedule.
It’s definitely not easy ... but trying to find some hacks amid the crazy chaos helps.
Best of luck!!